Snake with a hundred mage hands who is actually a detective called “dick-long”?
Has to be an elf though, for flavor reasons. And very bad at persuasion, but very good at intimidation
My old Dm Used to occasionally run a game where everyone rolled a pc that could fit into a cartoon show, and every game was an episode of this cartoon show.
I played an anime inspired character that could turn into a robot for no reason that was ever explained, and sometimes he gained the ability to turn into different kind of robots. The character never shut up about the power of friendship, and had an ever-evolving backstory that made less and less sense as we played more one shots, including:
- He was his own father somehow
- he had to go go to the future to make this happen for some reason
- he was searching for his sibling so that he could stop him from becoming my pc. His sibling was from the future and had travelled back to the past, so that he could kill my pc
- he could telepathically communicate with plants using the power of friendship. The plants had nothing to say because they were plants
- his father was some kind of evil god. Somehow he was still his own father. The contradiction was never explained at all
- There was an orb in his chest that contained the source of all friendship in the universe that he could use to launch friendship based attacks for some reason
There were more details I can’t recall. When I spoke it was always long rambling monologues that sounded like terrible dubbing.
Futurama’s “nasty in the pasty” was funny, but I gigglesnorted and choked on coffee on the care bear stare.
he could telepathically communicate with plants using the power of friendship. The plants had nothing to say because they were plants
Funniest thing I read all week goddamn
Oddly reminiscent of Steven Universe. Is his own mother, who was some kind of (evil?) god, has an orb in his belly button, launches friendship based attacks.
Never heard of Steven universe.
Interesting though. I guess it’s really all been done.
Some may not like it but this is what the perfect campaign looks like
Sadly these two rules would exclude a large percentage of the players. The main problem child player for TTRPGs seems to be finding player character build exploits and then getting mad when the DM already knew about the build and forbids it.
Beyond disappointed that none of our resident fart accounts have commented in this thread. Clearly the clarion call of the wind broken by the fart golems haven’t yet echoed deep enough into the halls of lemmy to reach their noses.
@Fartswithanaccent@lemmy.world
@Fartographer@lemmy.world
@I_fart_glitter@lemmy.world
@Satansmaggotycumfart@lemmy.worldWho can murder someone with a PC this excellent?
Professor Belvedere “Fartsparkles” Tinkletuft was once a respected lecturer at the Neverwinter Arcane Academy. His groundbreaking research into “transmogrified odoriferous manifestations” (or, as the students called it, fart magic) was dismissed as childish and “in poor taste.”
In protest, the Professor vowed to prove that flatulence is the ultimate illusion. Through alchemical experimentation, he discovered how to weaponize his digestive essence into arcane displays — clouds of glittering gas, illusionary stink beasts, and even gaseous duplicates of himself.
Now he roams the realms, performing “scientific demonstrations” and occasionally saving the world — usually by accident.
Hey don’t leave out my name sibling
@FartSparkles@lemmy.world
A wild sparkly fart appears
Am definitely surprised by I_Fart_Glitter considering I know them personally lol
Ah, but you also know that much as I would like to, I have no experience with RPGs.
I’m intimidated by all the rules and details and worry that an old, though sparkly✨ fart like me would fair as well as a boomer trying a smart phone for the first time. 🤷♀️
I can fix you.
Character called Mr. Farts that deals 1500 damage per turn by fart 3.
kolanaki@pawb.social sadly exeptions stack, not nullify.
You’ll be killed twice
Special skill: bag of holding with infinite cabbage and bean stew supply.
Bag of farting
Prison wallet of holding
Why adventure when you can be a mule?
I’m sworn to carry your burdens
MFW ex quipped that out in that moment when my mind was fumbling to think of complex math problems, baseball commentary, “Margaret Thatcher on a cold day”, etc. for their benefit. 😶
Oh, the sparkle in their eyes was certainly telling, but I’m not sure if they expected it to work quite so well, or so immediately.
FAFO, I guess? 🤣
Genuine GenV character
That’s it, your character is now wearing the magical plug of deflated bloating. It gives the wearer permanent relief from meteorism at the cost of -15 agility
Dear DMs: if you take yourself too seriously, I will murder you.
What are you going to do, fart on them?
give them stage 3 pink eye
Those are, in fact, perfectly sensible guidelines.
“So this is my character. Her name is Armpits Esquire and she’s three halfling paladin brothers from a dead order in a trenchcoat. Because of their stacking auras, they are nearly- no, you can continue loading, it gets worse.”
I’d never heard this before, but I adore the tiny tinge* of chicanery the singer adds to every line!
Okay but Armpits Esquire has the kind of whimsy I love best.
Way better as an npc. There is no man straight enough to straighten out a campaign with daily Armpits Esquire. She’s the cherry on the top of the cherry on top of the cherry on top of the sundae
But I worked so hard on writing up the flatumancer subclass!
It is a very strong class when you have a fire mage in your team
So professor burp is still on the table?
Nurse Practitioner Patricia P. Poopu is fine too I bet.
The dookomancer Dia Rhea.
(She makes the fart golems that raised OPs Dr. Fart by virtue of her skill in the fine arts of dookomancy)
Edit: Guess what’s in her spellcasting component pouch. HINT: Rhymes with cookie. Now let me tell you about her spellcasting focus! It’s encrusted with magically imbued partially digested corn…
Rhymes with cookie
Does it really though?
I use “ʊ” for book and cook, and “ju” for duke puke.
I have it on good authority that it does.
That GM definitely has some stories
The second one sort of depends on the player. I’ve had a few players that have made absolutely ridiculous characters but played them very well and it was a good experience.
The first one is a strong no. I’ve never seen anyone who does a broken meta build do anything beyond ruin everyone’s time and complain (or quit) if the DM reins them in at all.
I was once in a game where the GM allowed his buddy to be a build like that, but in a nifty “hidden origins” way, where the PC slowly realises their own immense power, but is super clumsy with it, so they’re an active danger to the party but you also can’t just leave them at an inn because they can potentially destroy the world if they have a nightmare…
Then he got turned into the campaign’s secret big bad that was only revealed at the very end. THAT worked out well. Turned out he could control his powers and just used us to get rid of his also evil archnemesis of his before attacking the party.
That sounds like an epic DM/experience!
By chance, was the campaign setting based off a non-dnd fantasy novel? If so, I might’ve been your DM :)
Nope, it was based on one of the, I think, 3.5 one shots?
In half the campaigns, the Doctor Farts PC ends up being the MVP because they weren’t minmaxed and as a result have much more utility.
Doctor Farts: “I cast Stinking Cloud, again.”
Party: sigh
Doctor Farts: ooo! i leveled up and got cloudkill!
The first one works in a campaign that expects everyone to do the first one (and where the GM does the same for the enemies). Assuming the character is still a character when looking beyond the stats, that is.
I’m into more listening to game. I’ve never actually laid one.
Wouldn’t what you’re describing be pretty pointless. Like super inflation. Okay you’re a millionaire but bread is 1000 so does it really matter?
A game where every character is doing 1500… how is that different from every character doing 15 damage gameplay wise? You can add as many zeros as you want but if we all have those extra zeros isn’t it essentially the same?
The second one sort of depends on the player. I’ve had a few players that have made absolutely ridiculous characters but played them very well and it was a good experience.
You mean like the Legend of Poop McDinglefart?
Do you think the people who make Dr Farts want to play with other people who make Dr Farts type characters? And the people who make 1500 dmg/turn combat monsters, do they want to play with other combat monsters?
I feel like sometimes no. Sometimes people want to be the odd one out. Which sucks, because a group that’s homogeneous on this aspect I think can work pretty well. If everyone’s a combat monster the GM can go crazy. But if there’s just one or two combat monsters, now they have to figure out how to keep it fun for them and also Bob The Fighter that hits for 1d8+2 each turn.
The people who want to do 1500 dmg/turn probably want to be playing 3.5
Got muh bag-o-rats and muh Great Cleave, time to start whirlin’…
Somewhat similarly, as a character with a good variety of options available in combat, I worry somewhat about the Ranger and Warlock I play with whose turns are pretty much always “I shoot the [x]”, but everyone seems to be having a good time so I guess combat gameplay isn’t really their bag, idk.
Rogue is worse. I played a rogue for a while and it didn’t really deliver a great experience. Every combat was “I shoot, move, cunning action hide”.
Scouting was largely outclassed by the wizard’s familiar, and even more so the pact of the chain familiar. Splitting the party is tedious and risky.
One GM tried to make a system to abstract scouting- you’d make some checks and get information and maybe trouble. But that guy liked PbtA way more than me, and it clearly influenced his design, because pretty much every time you used this system something bad would happen. I don’t play these games to be a fuck up. I want to be exceedingly competent in my niche.
I guess some of that is up to individual GM style, but I think some of it is on the system itself.
In my experience, dr farts is the result of an overabundance of options and lack of foresight. They don’t know what it’d be like, so they try it. Giving players a silly character swap voucher, good for just one session per campaign, solves that. Similar deal for the overjuiced character. (Not usable during story boss encounters)
Once people recognize that the boundaries are there to improve their experience, not detract from it, they usually follow the flow of the game and build on others’ characters. If they don’t, chairs are easy to fill.
False. Dr. Farts is the result of decades long self experimentating IBS research gone wrong.
If you’re playing d&d for the combat alone, you’re doing it wrong
If you’re playing D&D for not-the-combat you’re doing it wrong, basically every other RPG system handles that better
I’ve had a lot of DND players, often people that exclusively play DND, tell me they like it that way. They like that there’s basically no rules for conflict outside of combat. “Just talk it out” and “we’re here to role play stop looking at your sheet”.
Personally, not my taste. If we’re just going to “talk it out” I feel like we should write a book instead. That or actually rip out the stunted social rules in DND. That would help the annoying thing where the real life Sales Guy brings his whole personality into his 8 Cha Fighter.
But I also think a lot of those people have never really played anything else, and like dnd’s “barely any rules” better than whatever fantasy they’re imagining.
I like that games with working social rules can let someone who’s shy or quiet play someone socially powerful, just like a physically weak person can play a strong barbarian.
A significant part of the culture that has formed around 5e is about “having it all”. And usually by ignoring the (admittedly weak) rules that do exist, rather than exploiting actual gaps. So, you can frankenstein together a caster that has martial proficiency in armour (or even melee weapons), with the only compromise being your capstone abilities (which often are very expendable). And then you can metagame away your shitty social abilities by “roleplaying”.
I’m not going to defend 5e – I genuinely think it’s a poorly made game, and place the blame for that entirely on the execuitives – but the reason why so many people refuse to try something else is because they like the exploits that they believe exist, even though they are totally socially constructed.
If anyone wants to do a dr. Farts style campaign let me know. I would love to ref a zany to the max campaign. Be warned that dr. Farts may have to contend with the likes of Detective Vague.
