Snapping out of your fantasy as you’re being eaten alive is a bad move.
I feel like the other option is a Jacob’s Ladder experience
Yikes.
For the uninitiated, that’s like having your life flash before your eyes but all you remember is every vivid detail from Evangelion.
Or an isekai
180 seconds (3 minutes) is a hilarious overestimation of any fighter’s ability. Unless you’re counting the time it takes to bleed out.
Or total time it takes to be consumed
10 seconds of fighting, 170 seconds of screaming while being ripped apart.
1 swipe from those giant claws will end you in less than 10 seconds.
Maybe that’s counting the time taken by the polar bear to catch up to the
runnerfighter from the farthest distance they are capable to lock-onto a target.
They may kill SEAL with a slap but how many polar bear slaps does it take to kill members of other special forces?
One
That depends on the bear’s tactical training, if the bear went through bootcamp then it’s one slap, if the bear is also a SEAL then it’s half a slap.
I don’t know…Ask Mr. Owl.
Bear is black, fight back.
Bear is brown, turn around.
Bear is white, say good night.
Also.
Some black bears are brown.
Some brown bears are black.
Good luck everyone.
Polar bears have black skin. Polar bears are black bears.
Black bears are pretty skittish, so usually acting big & loud is enough to make them jog away, but I’m not sure someone could take them in a fight if the black bear was cornered.
Speaking of which, bears are extremely protective of their cubs, so if you ever see any cubs, running away from them at full speed is probably the best choice.
Bear is white, say good night, and tuck it in and tell it a story. Once the bear has fallen asleep snuggle up to it, so it has a fresh morning snack.
I remember somewhere they were saying you should remove your clothes (slowly piece by piece) with a polar bear. The bear will get distracted and start sniffing your clothes.
I think it was a QI episode and then David Mitchell said something like that Polar Bear being happier in the fact that the human would be better to eat this time because it didn’t have a wrapper.
That’s a myth perpetuated by the polar bears, they’re just perverts
I think removing your clothes is just so the bear doesn’t choke to death on your Nikes.
This works because polar bears are super horny. Its desire to rend you limb from limb will be replaced by overwhelming lust. Of course then you’ve got a completely different issue to deal with, but at least you might not die.
Turn around is a bad idea
If it’s brown, lie down
I had heard it as turn around, but lie down makes much more sense.
Oh, I had understood that to mean lay down facedown (with your back to it) since people usually have backpacks while hiking/hunting, and it provides some measure of protection.
Bear is Kodiak, you are trespassing and you will be shot.
Also, one of the few animals that will hunt humans for food
Can’t blame them. They’re running out of options.
its revenge, actually. Justified at that.
Here is a black bear, a grizzly, and a polar bear.
And Marcie.
Worked in Yellowstone for a summer.
Spent some time with the rangers. They got all sorts of questions…
Like which handgun caliber would be best to defend oneself from a bear.
Essentially, the ranger broke it down stating there was a weakness in the skull about the size of a bullet that you had to hit directly to have a chance of dropping a bear with a handgun. While its coming at you and pissed/hungry.
So essentially, you’ve just pissed off the bear before it gets it claws on you.
Well placed slugs from shotguns, rifle rounds, and preferably (according to the ranger in question) a tranquilizer to re-home the bear away from people. That being said, the bears are tracked to an extent and bears who show repeated behavior endangering themselves/tourists tend to be exterminated, sadly.
Hand to claw combat? Human is going down.
This is why in the past, when bears were hunted, they were hunted in their dens during hibernation - at the end of spears to keep that hungry bear as far away as possible from your soft easily rent flesh.
Seriously emptying an entire .357 revolver or .44 wouldn’t help? What about hollow point bullets?
That’s insaaaaneee
It entirely depends on the bear species, but in general guns are a last resort defense against bears.
Primary defense is avoidance and making it so they can avoid you. A bear will eat you, but is unlikely to hunt you. For most bears we’re an unknown quantity so they’ll avoid us, since other food is reasonably available with less risk.
A bear has heavy fur, thick skin for storing winter fat deposits, and dense bones. While bullets will injure the bear and perhaps even kill it, it won’t be enough to save you.
Much like how hitting someone on the head with a glass bottle will hurt them, almost certainly injure them, and potentially kill them, the type of injury is likely to be a fractured skull or brain bleed. Extremely serious and deadly, but they have minutes of functionality and hours of bewildered stumbling before they black out.So it’ll likely die… Later. For now you have a scared, confused and pissed off bear.
I believe hollow points have less penetration power, so it might not even get through the hide. Other bullets will get through fine, but are unlikely to stop the bear dead.
Woah. I must ask further in my quest to understand last resort bear encounter gun tips. What about an .45 calibred pistol with an magazine alternating between normal and hollow points? I get the skull take, even some fighting dogs are immune to 9mm skull shots. I don’t live in America, don’t own a gun but know a lot about guns, just very interested in this topic
.44 magnum is barely on par with an intermediate rifle round like 5.56 against large game. And that’s before considering the massively lower felt recoil or the fact that a rifle is much easier to aim
So .500 blackout?
I carry a .45-70 rifle with me when I’m up north. The high powered rounds I have for bears will also fell an elephant. (In theory. I really don’t want to find out.)
I haven’t heard of .500 blackout before, and google gives conflicting info on whether it’s “necked down .338 lapua magnum” or “like .510 whisper”
polar bears have historically been felled with “panicked shooting with ar-15”, and the “standard recommendation” seems to be “magnum rifle round”
Dude, you’re not killing a bear with a handgun before it eats you.
Your question is 100% valid.
All these people piling on you claiming a bear will just shrug off having a hand gun emptied into it. That just sounds like bullshit to me, they aren’t robots… Bullets aren’t pellets that shit will penetrate and any species with a survival instinct will back up.
I simply cannot believe what people are saying? Is there any proof or is it all just made up speculation people make by extrapolating size and injuries caused by bullets?
Angry humans can take several 9mm rounds to the abdomen and continue to advance.
Bullets also aren’t magical death pellets. A bear has about 20 inches of hair, skin, fat, and muscle to get through before organ damage, assuming you miss a bone.
A bear that hasn’t committed to an attack is entirely likely to decide “fight” isn’t worth it after the equivalent of getting stabbed in the shoulder by a screwdriver.
If it’s already decided that violence is the right way to handle the “you” threat it may continue to attack until it cannot. Then it becomes relevant that many guns don’t have the power to disable a beat before it gets to you and does serious damage. The bear dying in 30 seconds doesn’t help you if it’s last act is to break your arm, and put a two inch deep slash in the side of your neck. The goal isn’t to kill the bear, the goal is to keep it from attacking you. That requires a lot more gun, since the near can move and attack very fast.This is also deep in the realm of “what if”. Most bear encounters involving a firearm resolve successfully without even shooting the bear. They don’t like loud noises and will run from basically anything. The most encountered bears will usually run from shouting and waving your arms.
But if you’re looking to get a gun for bear defense, you need to consider that they’re extremely durable critters, and to cover what can happen probably requires more than most handguns can deliver.Avoidance is a better first defense, followed by pepper spray.
That reminds me of a dirty joke.
Tourist: So, which would you recommend for self-defense against a grizzly: a hunting rifle, or a large-caliber pistol?
Ranger: The pistol.
Tourist: Really? Why’s that?
Ranger: Because it’ll hurt less when the bear shoves it up your ass.
rent flesh
Are we still doing phrasing?
Fighting bears isn’t that common of an encounter. I’d be more worried about deer and coyotes or even a single cougar than the off chance of encountering a bear. They will definitely fuck you up but it’s not like they are starting their day to be like “Imma go murder a human” in the same way other urban-adjacent animals are—I think they just wanna get that sweet sweet pick-a-nic basket.
dies from turkey assault
You mean there are single cougars in your local area ? I always thought these ads were lying
There are enough of them that I no longer go in certain areas of the forest unless I’m armed. And I always have 2 arms on me at all times.
Maybe the targeted advertising got your location wrong?
Polar bears will absolutely try to hunt you. They’ll eat anything that moves. The only way to deal with a polar bear is a gun.
Tbh, even if you have a gun, your odds are not 100%. You’re firing at essentially a biological tank, small caliber fire might cause pain and eventually kill a polar bear with non-vital shots, but it’s not going to stop one barreling down on you.
Realistically, you need to be a decent enough marksmen to aim for a vital point, all while making your will saves because a giant monster is charging you. I’m pretty sure most humans are still fucked.
Yup they’re dangerous as fuck. My mom (kindergarten director) once visited a kindergarten in Svalbard, Norway where there’s a rifle hanging on the wall above where the kids get dressed.
The idea being that if a polar bear wanders towards the village, it’s essential to be able to fight it off and protect the children.
The ancient drawing was by a caveman trying to convince his caveman bros that he could totally take a polar bear.
Moose are not to be trifled with either. If you accidentally put yourself between mama and baby, you’re gonna have a real bad time
And the cocaine. Some of them also want that sweet cocaine.
This is what a bear would say to lull us into a false sense of security.
woah woah, bear with me here…
woah woah, bear with me here…
Is it holding you at gunpoint?
180 seconds feels extremely generous tbh
Bear doesn’t view something our size as even remotely a threat. We’re assuming the bear isn’t hungry and just not that interested.
Polar bears are very curious animals, so if you back away while slowly undressing they will stop to inspect each piece of clothing, giving you time to get away.
They are also one of the few, next to tigers, land predators that actually have a taste for human blood. The nature of a polar bear thinks it can eat it then it will certainly try. You also absolutely cannot out run them.
What kind of bear is that wearing the sunglasses?
Mama bear
Honey bear.
Your survival time would depend on how far apart you and the bear are, how’s fast you can run, and how angry or hungry the bear is.
Polar bears hunt even when not hungry because of the general scarcity of food in their environment
Polar bears can reach 25 mph, I don’t see myself outrunning that.
Don’t run, you’ll just die tired.
Which is why gun ownership and carry is mandatory in some areas where Polar Bears are a risk.
Where’s that “imma fight a gorilla” guy when you need him?
*first floor windows don’t go nuts guys no way that lad is reaching all the way to the second floor
Is the US the first floor is the ground floor, second floor is what is called the 1st floor in many other countries
Or “Zeroth Floor”.
Just like we have a zeroth century, aye guys?
Calling something a “second storey” just sounds weird, although at least because they spelt it “story” we know they mean in the US sense.
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Motorcycle helmets are purposefully not-hard. Odd comparison.
But they are pretty thick, since that means more impact-absorbing foam.
