- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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Agile
Artemis II astronauts going around the Moon: “I have two Outlooks, neither of which works”
Astronauts during the first Mars mission: “I previously had two Teams versions, neither of which worked, and now there’s apparently a third one, and it doesn’t work either”
“Houston, what is ‘New Teams Classic’ and why is it asking me to log in three times in a row?”
Imagine finding a log with something like “we couldn’t stop shareholders, our planet is doomed. We will start with a new colony on the planet closer to sun, perhaps this time we will not destroy our home”
I had the same thought. Evidence of a long extinct and clearly human civilization.
wtf even downvotes do you work in microsoft or what? or do we have “anything big tech is good” bots here
There is a novel “Microserfs” many years back and in it if I recall all the guys at MS drove Ford Taurus because at some point Gates drove one. So all the little serfs wanted to be like him.
Bill Gates logged in under six different usernames to downvote it.
Bro is outraged because of 6 downvotes out of 702 total votes 💀
6 is too many.
I’d believe there are six people in management here who see Teams as a “good solution”
If someone keeps pressing the button then it will fluctuate between 6 and 7 downvotes
To be honest, we’re talking microsoft teams here.
You need to update teams to join this meeting that starts in 1 minute.
Oh no, I can’t join the meeting, Teams is broken again
Elon Musks bones.
No, wait, you said terrifying, not terrific. never mind.
Don’t give him what he says his life goal is (die on Mars). It would be way more terrific if he died in a supercar crash (like the one he had in 2000 with Peter Thiel as passenger in a $1M McLaren F1, the fastest production car back then).
God, if only we.could have been so lucky. Imagine how the last 26 years would’ve been with them dead.
At least he temporarily lost some money and pride by wrecking his stupid uninsured penis compensator.
I now know to which moment in time i go back to adjust the outcome, if the opportunity arises.
What if whatever killed him and is wearing his skin is just as evil and stupid, but is not a junky.
I have two Outlooks and neither of them are working
Ticket closed. Feature not a bug.
I understood that reference
Just started at a place that uses teams. The window always says I have two unread messages. I don’t.
If you go to notifications and filter by unread you will probably be able to find what it is
Probably missed calls. It’ll keep showing a notification bubble in both activity and calls until you bother clicking the missed call as if that makes any difference or sense to anyone or anything but the notification counter.
Or theyre reactions to a message
Or calendar invites
Yeah, those don’t work well with Outlook. I get an e-mail from Microsoft telling me to login to the web version only to see that someone put a 👍 on my e-mail. It completely defies the purpose.
Microsoft really knows how to keep office workers occupied doing nothing at all.
There are no Teams servers on Mars and the client will time out before radio signals can reach Earth. So any copies of Microsoft Teams on Mars are just a waste of storage space, and not very terrifying compared to “actual” malware that could be in the same storage space.
the client will time out
So exactly how it works on Earth?
At least you have an undeniable excuse why you can’t take calls and take 15-30 minutes to respond to texts.
twist: Microsoft already built data centers and servers on Mars.
I have to use Teams for work and it baffles me how unbelievably bad the interface is. Everything that should be easy and quick to do is made difficult and time consuming. Every time you try to do something simple you’d expect to be able to, it is blocked or limited in such a way that you can’t do it and you have to find a workaround. It fights you in every way it can whenever you’re trying to accomplish something. You also have to sign in with two factor authentication multiple times every day. I don’t understand how this so-called “productivity” suite is even tolerated by private companies. It cripples productivity.
While I agree the UI needs some work, getting prompted for MFA multiple times a day for just using Teams chat and meetings is not normal.
You can get multiple sign in requests if you change devices regularly. It’s common to require authentication any time you change device
It’s not? Everyone at my company has the same experience.
Your IT has set up Conditional Access policies with a Sign-in Frequency set too low (it should really be labeled as a period, because it defines the time period that will occur before reauthentication is required). For regular users like all of you, forcing reauthentication that many times each day is excessive and just cruel on the users. They maybe thought it would make them super secure, but it only trains the users that MFA is an annoyance rather than an important security feature.
It’s a setting that can easily be changed, so make some noise and see if you can get some feedback passed through your org structure to IT.
I don’t think I’ve ever had to sign into Teams (PR Outlook, for that matter) in my desktop. Mobile, I have to after changing my password. I assumed all the MS apps signed me in with my domain login on my laptop. On weird issue I have is things like SharePoint and Dynamics 365 asking me to sign in again after its already brought up the site, and clicking the button to do it just brings a blank pop-up that immediately disappears and I’m logged “for real” I guess.
Yep. I sign in once when the app is opened (which happens automatically as I’m logged into the computer as my Entra ID) and then am never prompted again until I close and reopen Teams.
Something is misconfigured in the environment, or there is a security policy that is set way too high, or one is scoped incorrectly. It is definitely not the normal or expected user experience.
Teams has a lot of faults, but that one is on your org’s admins and security team. Hopefully for you it’s a mistake and not done intentionally.
I’ve worked at different places that used Teams, and that thing with having to re- login regularly is certainly fault of whoever administers Teams within your organization.
Agreed. Sounds like a config problem if the whole org is seeing it.
what is supposed to be and what is are often two different things.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s?
Every time I hear someone ask to help out with Teams, it sounds to me like “Can you help me shove my fist further up my ass” … Yes eeeh sure . . .
“Didn’t you see my post in the channel?”
“Sweety, I don’t know wtf is going on in this cluster fuck. Be thankful I even replied”
“No Trespassing” signs, written in Goa’uld.
Honestly, anything written that we could understand without deciphering would raise a couple of terrifying questions:
-
Who / What wrote this?
-
Do they know our language or do we know theirs?
-
KREE
Woodland, swamp or plains?
I can sometimes hear Teams notification sound from neighbour’s apartment, triggers me to check my phone almost every time.
They added the teams call sound as a horn to forza horizon 6, I made a few people tab out of the game with it lol
Amazing
Enabling sound notifs for teams is pathological self hating behavior
Lol
