I’m here to touch myself and kill grass and I’m all out of grass

heh… every management failure you mentioned was a problem at my last job. impressive.

I became drunk with power for a minute, realizing I’m cute enough to find hookups on grindr, but the hookups made me feel empty, so now I’m just sad :(

idk how bullshit it is but I would definitely get into one or the other fornix with one of my exes. it was actually kind of painful sometimes because I think her cervix would hit my urethra at a funny angle. it didn’t seem to bother her though.

“inine”

the curse of having a very large penis. everyone wants to play with it, but no one considers if I want to play with it…

yeah well if chocolate covered strawberries isn’t a meal then neither is cake, and we all know cake is a perfectly balanced meal… right?

It’s all the trans girls and eggs. We tend to show up in software roles a lot, and we tend to be pretty horny.

I keep scrolling past this and it keeps turning off my brain. how am I supposed to doom scroll when I can’t think past the horny?

you ever think about going pro? maybe you could even get into the autism olympics.

one time in high school my year had a pre graduation event, and the school rented one of those big convention rooms that are the closest thing most of us ever come to a ball room. anyway during the event we were served food, and one guy made it his mission to eat as much as possible. a bit after we were done eating he vomited and fully caught it in his mouth with the help of his hand, and proceeded to just swallow it all again. enjoy this cursed knowledge I am forced to carry. at least you don’t have to see it lol.

me last week waking up early to go to a 6 hour panel interview

I prefer white monster but yes

they may be technically different, but me going through tree ID class in undergrad quickly realized that the variability of leaf shape within a tree species, and even within a specific tree, can make one species look almost exactly like a totally different species. much better to look at the morphology, buds, and bark than the leaves.

they’re all beautiful though

the thing is neurotypical people don’t have as much awareness of the imprecision of language, they just assume they know what you’re saying if they are familiar with all the words you use. this has caused me no end of problems when I say something and the person I’m talking to just chooses an interpretation and assumes thats what I meant and runs with it. half the time that ends up in some kind of minor or major disagreement that could have been avoided if they just asked for some clarification. the really annoying part is it doesn’t seem to matter how precisely I formulate my sentences, how much I hedge against misunderstanding, because sometimes people just make shit up that they think I might say even if it has nothing to do with what I actually said. watch it happen here lol.

I mean kinda. Cat eye contact is a bit more complex.

eye contact no blinking: leave me alone

eye contact slow blinking: I like you

aware but not looking at you: you may approach

eyes closed: I love you

eye contact with dilated pupils: murder time

more or less

Unironically I have found it’s much easier to connect with people since I started to transition, both platonically and sexually. I haven’t even changed all that much yet from my perspective, but being more myself than ever has helped me connect in ways that would have been impossible when I was doing my best impression of a cishet man.

I want to be one of those historical evil lesbians that fuck their way through the aristocracy’s wives and get by on dubiously acquired wealth, while secretly running women’s shelters and investing in women run small businesses, until the aristocracy catches up to me and I get executed for fucking their wives too well and giving common women “ideas”.

as a bi trans nonmonogamous audhder, fuck these people. all they really want is to kill us, and when they realize they can’t do it by turning us into someone else they will reach for the camps and gas chambers. then they will destroy themselves because the great tragedy is that so many of them are neurodivergent too. rigid black and white thinking is one of the major pitfalls of humanity, and sadly is one far too many neurodivergent people fall into.