So you’re a termite?
“…uhhh totally.”
What do we like to eat?
“Stuff and wood and junk.”
Okay good enough.

Was homoemo before homoerectus?

Hickory smoked boner.

Goose: Hark! Lost is my mass, but look upon my fury and despair!

A rare turbo pregnancy!

Oh! This one jar that is freakin stuck super bad.

You haven’t lost your virginity until both balls are in.

Lime Green Skittle Script:

(Bond opens the ring)
Bond: Damn. I’ve been…Skittled.
(Bond music opening)
HE HAS A RING.
A LITTLE GOLDEN RING.
FILLED WITH ONE.
AND ONLY ONE.
LIME GREEN SKITTLE.

Sorry Nike, but turn your logo upside down, kick off those sneakers and light up a NEWPORT.

The violent rumbling is actually a relaxing massage.

Non, monsieur. Eye vill not recommend a wine for yur chickon streeps.

It pays off in the moment but then you die to death the next day.

(A girl is born)
Doc: BRING FORWARD THE LARGEST BOW.

We need more militant soup activists.

This is by a wide margin one of the most hard hitting sandwiches to ever play the game.

Somehow naked DK is more nude than the most naked…naked dude.

Some say they’re feisty, but I think they work great as a team.

If someone enjoys something I say let them enjoy it. Seems like an interesting combination but not something I need to go out and try immediately.

You guys said no mustaches! Oh come on!

The Denny’s waitress rolled her eyes when I asked which wine pairs best with the chicken strips.