• Anna@lemmy.ml
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    20 minutes ago

    Why people allergic to cockroaches can’t have coffee

  • ashenone@lemmy.ml
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    4 hours ago

    The amount of salt and butter needed to get certain foods to taste like restaurant food. My mother in law nearly fainted when I started cooking for her, but she loves the way it comes out so she let’s it be.

      • Carl@anarchist.nexus
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        1 hour ago

        Nope, I’ll spoiler the story (in increasing levels of graphic detail) below:

        Low detail

        It’s from a post by a male escort, who was supposedly hired by Graham. The escort found an interesting skin condition on Graham’s nether-area. Graham then referred to it as “my ladybugs”.

        Medium detail

        Graham supposedly hired a male escort. They got back to Graham’s hotel room, and the escort saw something odd in his ass/taint area. The escort asked Graham if he could wipe everything down before they began, and Graham agreed. The escort got a damp towel, but nothing was coming off with the towel. That’s when the escort realized Graham’s butthole and taint weren’t dirty, they were covered in moles. Graham then referred to them as “my little ladybugs”.

        High detail

        Graham was (in)famous for supporting anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. He was also supposedly a pretty prolific male escort customer. One escort made a post accusing Graham of such, essentially saying he was a hypocrite and asking other escorts to share their stories.
        Another escort made a follow-up post, to share a bedroom story: Graham had gotten… In position to be intimate. The escort saw something weird around Graham’s asshole, so he asked if he could wipe things down before they started. Graham agreed. So the escort dampened a towel and went to work, but nothing was wiping off. That’s when the escort realized his asshole wasn’t dirty. Graham supposedly had tons of moles all over his ass and taint. As the escort was trying to comprehend what he was seeing, Graham chimed in with “Hope you don’t mind, those are just my little ladybugs.”

        The full context of the original post

        Male Escort 1’s Post: There is a homophobic Republican senator who is no better than Trump, who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the LGBT and minority communities. Every sex worker I know has been hired by this man. Wondering if enough of us spoke out if that could get him out of office? I cannot do this alone. If you’d be willing to stand with me against LG, please let me know.
        Male Escort 2’s Post (made in response to the first post): When I came out of the bathroom, he was on the bed, naked, on all fours. I noted that there were dark marks around his anus. I asked if he had showered (he said yes). I asked if it was OK if I wiped him down (he said sure). I wet a face towel and wiped and wiped between his buttocks, and nothing was coming off. Then I realized that his taint wasn’t dirty, it was just FULL OF MOLES.
        Dark moles, in dense clusters up and down the length of his taint. ‘Aw,’ he said. ‘Hope you don’t mind. Those are just my little ladybugs.”

        I can’t believe I actually typed that out three separate times… I suffered so hopefully some curious user can be spared.

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 hours ago

    Most bar ice machines are full of snot like microbial jelly. Even if the ice machine is properly deep cleaned it will be back to some extent within only a few weeks.

    In reality it’s harmless (if the machine is regularly and properly cleaned) because it’s mostly just yeast colonies caused by yeast being flung into the air from the beer. Yeast loves ice machines for some reason and grows very quick. Assuming the ice machine is properly cleaned regularly and not subject to overly filthy conditions then there shouldn’t be anything actually concerning growing in there. But now you are forever cursed with the knowledge that any ice you get in a bar likely came from a machine full of biological slime.

    Also the issue can be mostly mitigated by built in air sterilization units or completely prevented by feeding the machine with ozonated water, but I’ve never met a bar owner willing to pay for those options.

    • lattrommi@lemmy.ml
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      3 hours ago

      fountain soda machines do the same in a way if not cleaned regularly. i’ve had a few jobs in the food industry where i would break down the soda fountain and other employees, even managers, had no idea the nozzles would come off and once they did at those places, it was obvious they hadn’t been cleaned in years and would be full of crusty sugar, bugs, mold, it’s horrifying.

    • Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      Knowledge even God carved from their own mind.

      You, my friend, are a prophet of horrors unknown. Hail to you, harbinger of nausea.

    • lattrommi@lemmy.ml
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      3 hours ago

      also cicada. i learned this after a local pizza place made the news for having a pizza topped with them during the last brood x emergence.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
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    4 hours ago

    How to play Scrabble competitively.

    Once you know, you can’t play against normal people anymore, they’ll hate it and, if it happens often enough, you. You can only play against other Scrabble bastards, and you’ll hate that and, very quickly, them.

      • Carl@anarchist.nexus
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        53 minutes ago

        Monopoly isn’t an awful game if you actually play by the rules. It’s not great, but it’s not awful either. But most people don’t know all the rules, make up a bunch of stupid house rules, etc… And as a result, the game drags on for hours even after it’s clear who the winner will be. In reality, playing by the rules has each game lasting like 20-45 minutes.

        For example, most people know that when a player lands on an unowned square, they get the option to buy it. Straightforward, right? But most people don’t realize that if that original player turns it down, it goes to auction. The players can submit bids to purchase the square, and they can start far below market value. Meaning that all of the squares should get bought relatively quickly, instead of taking like ten rounds. There is actually a strategy to refuse to buy a square, to intentionally send the property to bid, just so you can then potentially buy the properly below market value. Basically, Player A lands on a square. Player A refuses to buy the square at the market price of $1000. Player A then wins the bid at $800. Player A effectively got a $200 discount, simply by sending the property to auction.

        Also, the bank can’t go bankrupt.

        You can run out of houses to build. Know how you can upgrade four houses to a hotel? And the game only has 32 houses? The hotel increases the square’s rent, but returns the houses to the available pot. It’s actually a perfectly valid strategy to upgrade all of your properties to four houses, and then refuse to upgrade any of them to hotels. Since the game only has 32 houses, you can use ~7 properties to effectively lock out any hotels from being built. And since nobody can build any hotels while you’re sitting on all of the houses, your 4-house properties are effectively the most expensive in the game simply because nobody can upgrade their properties while you’re hoarding all the building materials.

      • ghen@sh.itjust.works
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        1 hour ago

        I learned how to play a perfect game of Monopoly just so I could beat my family and friends so that they stopped asking me to play Monopoly. Even before learning the trick I hated that game

        • vrek@programming.dev
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          1 hour ago

          If you play by only the official rules it’s not supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to teach how much monopolies under capatalism are horrible for everyone else.