The all-new Ikea Cjardboord.

I’ve been summoned a couple times. Was paid $12 for not being selected to the jury. I think you’re off the roster for awhile? They were about a decade apart.

You can’t say the phone companies should block calls from unverified numbers while at the same time saying Google shouldn’t block download of unverified apps.

Sure you can. There’s a difference: Whether or not the owner of the handset requested the traffic.

A random APK from F-Droid isn’t going to suddenly demand my attention while my phone is sitting on my desk with the screen off. An Indian man threatening to jail me if I don’t mail him Amazon gift cards has and will again.

You’re not going to find an Obama Hope edition firearm out there.

What’s Merrell?

I once named the disease “The Disease From Madagascar” and it started in Madagascar.

I also killed the world with a bacteria called Red Ass.

Ugh, my dumbass boomer father.

Okay. 1. My father goes by his middle name. Let’s pretend his name is Christopher James Smith. He introduces himself as Jim. For my entire life, it’s been easy to screen calls for him because “Hello, may I speak to…Christopher Smith please?” That’s spam. “Hey is Jim there?” That’s someone who knows him.

2. The dumbass answer the phone “Hello, this is Jim?”

If I was in charge, all phones would be required to have a built-in taser. The recipient of a call should have a button they can press to tase the caller. This taser must be strong enough to seriously injure a human, like, burn ward you never hear out of that ear again strong enough, or strong enough to set any computer that phone is attached to on fire. Capital offense to remove or disable the taser from a phone.

That would solve the problem I think.

They did have blue labels though.

Every Zima I’ve seen was clear.

I don’t give a shit if you’re from Long Island, the far tip end of Maine or Danville Virginia, I catch you bitching out a retail worker about how things are done “up north” you’re what we in the South call A Fucking Asshole Who Needs To Go Home.

North Carolinian here: The asshats from New England especially New York who move down here to escape their native climate and/or manmade hellscape and then scream at retail cashiers for not saying thank you are yankees.

We don’t care how you do things up north. If you liked how things are done up north, go up north.

It would unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman!

At text sizes I’m comfortable with, emoji almost always render too small. It’s easy for me to tell :) from :( but 🙂 and 🙁 are yellow circles. To tell them apart I have to lean forward.

Or you get into the noun ones that aren’t facial expressions, people use wrong. There’s an entire group of pictograms but they’re added redundantly to words. So you don’t get “I stuck a 🌵 up my 🍆” you get “I stuck a cactus 🌵 up my dick 🍆” for no reason I can think of.

Combine that with the fact that…I nearly never open the emoji drawer and find an expression that conveys the actual expression I want, and yeah emoji were a mistake.

Ocarina of Time actually has a rich combat move set. You can horizontal slash, vertical slash, thrust, jump slash, spin slash, jump to the side and backflip. Essentially none of that is ever called for.

Very minor enemies are always vulnerable and you can hurt them however whenever. Some moderate enemies are only weak to certain other weapons. Major enemies, to a fault, are completely damage proof until they make an opening by attacking, and then you can damage them however. Wait for the Wolfos, Lizalfos, Dinalfos, Stalfos, Iron Knuckle, at least a couple others, to attack, they’ll have some cooldown animation during which you can attack them. Bosses, from Ghoma to Ganon, require fending off their attacks, stunning with a special weapon, and then slashing with the sword.

In the words of Egoraptor, “There’s so much. Goddamn waiting. In Ocarina.”

They had ideas they couldn’t realize for another decade and a half in 1998. They only realized an actual organic combat system in Breath of the Wild.

Zelda II, the problem with Adventure of Link is it’s unfair. They place enemies in such a way that you’ll go to make a jump, you’ll get hit by an enemy you couldn’t see, and fall down a death pit while stun-locked. You don’t really beat it by getting good at it, you beat it by memorizing all the bullshit.

Recognize my authoritah!

That’s CAPTAIN dry ass to you.

Yeah who is out shopping for sweatpants, takes a pair off the rack and says “fuck yea my ass gonna say Juicy”?

I went to ERAU Daytona, which had basically every kind of living arrangement you can think of except the traditional “bedrooms around a hallway around a communal bathroom” deal you described. Note: I have seen dorms exactly like that, but ERAU didn’t have them.

The closest you’d get was Doolittle hall, which has clusters of four rooms that share one bathroom, several to a hallway. McKay hall looks for all the world like an old motel, the room doors open to the outside world, each room has two beds, two desks and a bathroom in the back. The Student Village had a couple halls where a pair of rooms had a kind of antechamber for closet space with a bathroom in between, Adam and Wood halls. It also had O’Connor hall, where I lived, which featured 4 bedroom, 2 bath apartments with living rooms/kitchenettes, housing 8 men total. Just off of that was Stimpson Hall, where upperclassmen still living on campus lived. Imagine a conjoined studio apartment, is the best way I can describe this; two men lived in two bedrooms sharing a small common area and kitchen. Apollo Hall had just been built and they were filling it up, I never saw the interior of that building.

Weird fact: Unknown Worlds Entertainment licensed the Cyclops name for the submarine in Subnautica from OceanGate.