Dolly Parton was a major philanthropist, she did a lot of work in children’s literacy.

That’s a Gillette Superspeed, or a modern reproduction. They’re about 3 inches long.

Can the average U of A student be expected to read words as complicated as “genetalia”?

So in this movie she’s a successful big city criminal but she’s getting disillusioned with that and wants to move back home to a picturesque podunk town to be a small town criminal, maybe burgle a cute little antique shop in the town square, enter our eligible bachelor, the handsome, charismatic and eligible town axe murderer?

Okay. When I walk into a Lowe’s to buy a power drill, the entire aisle of bathroom sinks on the other side of the 5 acre store don’t bother me at all, because they’re back there.

When they start putting out the Halloween decorations for sale in April or the Christmas shit in August, they put that right at the entrance, it tends to make noise, it’s often scented, and especially with the Christmas shit they start playing non-stop Christmas music over the store’s speakers. So we get half a fucking year now of either the same old shit, or this year’s repackaging of the same old shit. It is actively bothersome.

Like, you walk into Michael’s and there’s always an aisle of wreaths and pine fronds back there. And it stays there year round. That’s fine. They don’t choose an increasing number of months out of the year to wave it in your face as you walk in.

Add to that the ever-increasing commercial nature of the holiday and it’s just…ugly.

Yeah English phonics is a garbage fire. Just look at that last sentence.

We’ll eventually give up and thesaurus it.

Rrrrl. Rrrrl. RRRRL. Out inna woods.

Is there anywhere on earth that pronounces the R? FEB-you-air-EE.

That’s not an English word, that’s a space catholic word.

I have a disdain for technical latin, Stop telling me I have hypernatremia; high blood salt is exactly as detailed and like 54 syllables shorter.

In my tarheel accent, a consonant Y often gets sanded to an uh sound. Especially when speaking quickly it’s not uncommon to hear a Carolinian say “REG-uh-lurr” rather than “REG-yew-lurr”.

My high school US history class spent like two weeks on the revolutionary war, half a class on everything that happened up to the civil war, two or three weeks on the civil war, half a class on the rest of the 19th century, like a week on WWII, the roaring 20’s and dusbowl 30’s got a week, and the rest of the class was World War 2, the 4 years that made up 60% of our 250 year history.

I have two hypotheses for why it was like that and they’re not mutually exclusive:

1. WWII ends on a very boastful note for the USA. The defeat of not one but two objectively evil empires through both military and industrial might, that and having basically none of the fighting on our soil meant we came out of the war powerful and rich, eclipsing Great Britain as the superpower in the west. Almost immediately after that, history gets a lot less flattering.

2. The boomers were in charge of setting the school curriculum circa 2002, and by their logic “Then World War 2 happened, and then I was born, and then stuff I personally remember happened, and because I personally remember it, it isn’t “history” therefore we don’t have to teach it. You learn about Upton Sinclair in history class, you learn about the Cuban Missile Crisis by watching the news, that’s just how it is.”

I’m from the American Southeast. I speak with a tarheel drawl. To listen to me speak, you’d think the word “rural” has four Rs in it. Rrrrl.

Such a whimsical jape.

It’s how rednecks proclaim trans positivity. The truck wasn’t built with testicles, and then they added them, which alters the truck’s gender. How progressive.

Sportsmen?

The last EA product I purchased new, that the company would have gotten paid for, was Desert Strike for SNES. In 1993.

Yeah, the bread is sideways in the bag. It’s hilarious.

Bread doesn’t go in the bag that way. So silly.

I’m honestly not convinced that’s true.

In my experience, a woman’s living space is either more cluttered than a man’s because she’s got 5.37*10^9 bottles in the shower, piles of laundry made of a larger number of smaller garments, and 900 pillows, OR she lives in a film set where nothing can be moved, touched or used. You don’t dry your hands on the towels on the towel rack, those are for decoration, if you need to dry your hands go down to the laundry room, open the towel bin, take out a towel, dry your hands, wash-rinse-sanitize-dry-iron-fold and put away the towel, then go about your day.

Man tidy is “blanket’s on the bed, laundry’s either put away or in the hamper, the carpet has been vacuumed at some point in the last month, and none of the cologne/deodorant bottles on the dresser are empty.”