Most everyone I talk with irl are my support team. So they don’t judge even when I’m making such a fucking arse of myself. So that’s good.
Honestly not too much. Autism is kind of like being in a niche fandom, you only get pegged by others already in it. Otherwise, you’re just “odd”
They’ve done research that shows NT peers can tell something is different about you withing the first minutes of meeting you. Even if you don’t speak and just listen. They may not know its autism right away but they know they’re not like us, and NTs are judgey AF.
Yes and no. Yes they can tell. Though it isn’t just nuerodivergence, it’s anything that makes a person different. And judging is what humans do. All humans have a drive to be part of an exclusive group. Judging is how they make that happen. So it really has nothing to do with autism.
NTs are judgey as fuck
🤔
Judging such a large diverse group as if they’re one thing is a strange type of bigotry.
I have generally found autistic people to be way more judgey than their NT counterparts. You’re always better off telling so people understand you have a condition and aren’t just choosing paths of increased resistance.
About this getting pegged…
Are we doing this gang? Im in all the way, pun intended
People are always going to judge you, just like you judge others.
You’re gonna have to figure out how to deal with that. It’s part of life.
Option 3: Fuck em’
Zero amounts. Everybody judges everything.
Spoiler alert: this happens to everyone.
These universalizations are the main reason I keep it to myself and mask in OPs picture.
It’s different for everyone. You could also generalize that non autists oh well they also have all the issues autists have… And they do.
But it’s different. Only people never having experienced a painful generalization like this can make such a statement.
I am on pain medication because of neurological disorders. ‘oh yeah I am often in pain, too’…
Hi, I am in the picture. I am also very neurospicy and used to worry about how others judge me.
However, I found out that just like how I don’t really judge others on whether or not they’re neurospicy, I judge them based one how they treat others: others will likely have their own criteria to judge me. Honestly? If I’m doing my best and trying to keep being cool to everyone, I don’t care what criteria others use to judge me. The above comment is right, everyone faces this in one way or another. Everyone has their own way to approach it, too.
True, I feel caught. And it got me thinking. Maybe age and experience is also an influence there.
So picture me as friendly and nice slightly odd teenager. Then noticing evil reactions behind my back and sabotage, because of behavioral differences. This of course leads to judgment and resentment because it was done to me all my life. It’s human, also a protection mechanism.
It’s good to point out, however there’s no easy fix. It’s just how humans are in cause effect and keeping grudges.
So in a way I am caught in a permanent loop of getting harmed, protecting myself, being an ass, healing and it starts again.
It makes me resent humanity, sadly. But thst just seems part of the perks I involuntarily got.
You’re looking internally and wanting to improve on things that you feel are issues. Anyone doing that can’t be all that bad in my books, I believe in you.
Thank you, that must be one of the kindest things addressed at me on the internet.
Like most of us, too much. I’m pleased to report your field of fucks grows more and more barren as you age. By 40 you don’t give a fuck anymore.
Depends where.
In online, whenever someone asks, due to lack of judgment and consequences.
In real life, on the most strict need to know basis. Overwhelming majority of people don’t need to know, because it changes absolutely nothing for the positive and has a possibility to change things/attitudes towards the negative.
Hard disagree, telling lets them know you aren’t making choices you are literally wired differently. This helps them learn a lot more about what you need from them and what they can expect from you. Much higher chance of empathy and understanding than trying to keep it a secret.
Fair point, but it seems to based on an false assumption that most people actually care or are open minded and compassionate enough to take it into consideration.
Most people will just shrug and go on with their day as it’s completely irrelevant for them aka neutral response. Rest will laugh you/me out as it doesn’t fit into some narrow stereotypical representation aka generally the high support need autism and go on still demanding the exact same as before, just with less respect/seriousness than before aka the negative response.I do agree that telling to those who actually are compassionate and caring enough is beneficial and those handful do actually know about it. But they are just a handful of people, literally i can count them on my one hand aka need to know basis.
I hate to tell you this but you actually have the wrong assumption. Basically, in most individual encounters, humans generally exhibit overall compassionate and decent behavior. This kind of person that you’re worried about laughing at you doesn’t really exist outside of maybe high School. This has held up for me across many continents and generally behavioral science supports it though social and environmental context is a thing. But yeah if it’s a waitress, a coworker, a possible paramour, etc they call already tell you’re different. It’s much better to give them an explainable reason why and you might be surprised how many people even go to the research to try and understand you better.
Could be or yeah it could be my own bias from childhood, but enough people around me already display hatred/resentment/dismissiveness towards different minorities to raise suspicions in addition to slow additude change for the positive over the years when i went from overweight to muscular reinforcing the opinion that most of them are just following in built biases.
Of course they can tell I’m weird. But right now I’m just that, their oddball, starting to give reasons why I’m that oddball could likely push me into the other group, basically pushing me from ingroup to outgroup. Yeah that could be just my own fears, but i can’t see any benefit in telling either. So from my perspective it’s a possible risk with no discernable reward/benefits.
A waitress or basically anyone providing a service who i will see just once in my life, doesn’t need to know anything beyond the basic interaction script for said service. Similar reasoning could be applied to groups of people who i encounter once a month or even up to once a day for a brief period, basic social interaction script works there as well.
As for coworkers or generally groups of people who i need to spend longer times together.
Yeah fair, it might benefit if some of them knew, though who knows is really up to the individual and their behavioral patterns. Maybe more beneficial in the beginning of the long term acquittance, so maybe some accomodations could be made, but I’ve been in the same environment for years. I’ve already made any accomodation i might need and any forgetting/attention issues(from the ADHD side) is just accepted as running costs. As long as those running costs aren’t much higher than the average and overall income i produce is in the positive, anything else is irrelevant.For lovers/potential partners. As i almost skipped over that aspect of life, i don’t have enough experience to determine any patterns.
Though yeah it makes sense to be as open as possible with them, because I’m supposed to live and share everything with them and work together as a single unit. Knowing the other persons behavior, weaknesses, strengths, habits, is rather beneficial in determining how the relationship might work together or what aspect one can do better than the other.
And yes my wife is one of the few people who knows as i did got rediagnosed while we were married.
Of course this is based on my experience and feel free to point out any issues with it as this type of discussions can be rather beneficial.
There’s a lot to unpack in what you said there. Though I guess my first question would be is. "Have you talked to a psychiatrist and tried to get treatment? " It can be absolutely life-changing in a major way if you haven’t.
Over and over again I’ve run into people who are trans or gay or autistic or have a speech impediment, or have tourette’s and invariably the ones that just put it on front Street and communicated about it in a mature way have been the happiest and most successful. I would also say that anyone you lose along the way you never really had to begin with. Since you have a wife, why don’t you discuss this with her and see how she thinks since she has a lot more context about your lifestyle?
I’m sorry about that, i didn’t intend it to be heavy, more like just a light discussion or sharing worldviews/perspectives and pointing out flaws in reasoning.
Yes, during the first summer when covid started. I had quit smoking a few years before that, but got a bit carried away with alcohol afterwards and quitting it cold turkey did trigger a major depression. Tried therapy at that point as it did got debilitating enough and that’s when i got rediagnosed with ADHD and ASD added in as well. Primarily focused on ADHD treatment, but as it all had to come out of my own pocket and locally available meds were completely useless then i pretty much gave up on that after around half a year. Depression slowly faded away during that time.
I haven’t really tought about trying again, primarily because any sort of therapy is even more expensive now if going for private clinics, though more available and nearly impossible to get an appointment if going for the socialized healthcare route.
So basically there aren’t any serious enough or debilitating issues to justify financial and time cost associated with therapy or what i already can’t handle myself.
I do agree with the losing point and outside of work I don’t really talk to them, but we all work in the same place so coming into daily contact is kinda inevitable.
I thought that I could also handle everything myself without medication and now I look back and think that was a completely foolish stance to have. It’s important as you age to constantly reevaluate your baseline assumptions and try to do things that will challenge or unseat them.
As I don’t know exactly which medical system you’re dealing with, I can’t really talk about the specific pitfalls but rather just the overarching narrative that because it didn’t work out once isn’t a reason to give up. Let us not forget that Michael Jordan didn’t successfully get onto his high school basketball team. He failed the tryouts. If he had just assumed that maybe he wasn’t cut out for basketball or that all basketball coaches are assholes and not worth talking to he would not stand today as the greatest basketball player of all time and arguably the most legendary athlete of all time.
One of the most important attributes you can cultivate inside yourself is a resilience to discouragement. People that enjoy life and experience happiness at the most true level are people that do not find failure or shortcomings extremely discouraging. They tend to laugh and be like haha. Well I guess that didn’t work out super well and then they roll up their sleeves and try something else. By the way, I’m using voice to text to do all of this. So weird. Sentence stops tends to be one of the issues and I really am tired of going back and editing them for easy reading. So please just deal with the bizarre sentence structure.
Not much. Reason… is exactly as the meme suggested, why worry about something that is largely out of my control?
OK I do worry about it just a little bit when looking for jobs but that’s it
Long since stopped GAF.
If it helps, why should you care about judgement if you don’t respect the source ?, and how can you respect someone who judges like this. QED.
I tell them and if they cant deal with me litterly needing a different way of communication, its their problem. I always offer to create a “hey how to talk to me” guide and am open for all questions.
What do you tell people in this guide?
Move cow that’s the slaughterhouse entrance. Ahhhhhh
In March 2026, I learned I’m not just ASD but spectrum AF according to a psychiatric assessment. It explains a lot, including why I find dealing with people super awkward. Right now I’m isolated where I live trying to figure out how to make friends when I super-suck at making friends or even being social.
I’ve been thinking of starting off with Don’t mind me, I’m spectrum AF as soon as the flow of conversation stops because I said something awkward (or didn’t say the expected thing, or whatever).
What is spectrum AF?
Autistic As Fuck i assume
