• Strider@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    True, I feel caught. And it got me thinking. Maybe age and experience is also an influence there.

    So picture me as friendly and nice slightly odd teenager. Then noticing evil reactions behind my back and sabotage, because of behavioral differences. This of course leads to judgment and resentment because it was done to me all my life. It’s human, also a protection mechanism.

    It’s good to point out, however there’s no easy fix. It’s just how humans are in cause effect and keeping grudges.

    So in a way I am caught in a permanent loop of getting harmed, protecting myself, being an ass, healing and it starts again.

    It makes me resent humanity, sadly. But thst just seems part of the perks I involuntarily got.

    • poke@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      You’re looking internally and wanting to improve on things that you feel are issues. Anyone doing that can’t be all that bad in my books, I believe in you.