Communication with NT is very hard and often frustrating. I now am in the situation to have people hard of hearing around me and it’s very difficult to cope.
It’s exceedingly frustrating to have sudden interruptions or other ‘plan changes’ in the communication due to them simply not hearing. Eg in the middle of a thing you are doing for someone they turn away because they think they are not addressed or the communication is over.
Do you have experience with this and if so, how do you deal with it?
You must log in or register to comment.
my joyfriend definitely isn’t neurotypical but fae do have a fair bit of trouble with auditory processing
i’ve just gotten used to repeating myself. sometimes it feels a little bad to not be understood, but in the end it’s fine. i just say the thing a little bit louder and clearer. and remind myself how hard it must be for faer
Pen and paper?
Yes, but not yet. As they see no fault/problem.
Speak loudly and look directly at them when you do so they can see your lips.
“do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” --rush hour
Yes, however she’s very busy and I get fed up when it’s something she wants from me and I have to put in extra effort which goes off my energy.
As someone who is hard of hearing, we use a ton of extra effort to just get through the day too, it’s a disability. I think if you talk to this person and come to an agreement that you both will tune in more when dealing with each other and agree to some basic conversation rules it could be a fair compromise.
I see that and I agree but it’s more difficult with elderly who don’t see it that way so just carry on as they did without. So there’s no agreement and all problems and effort are pushed to others.
Yeah I can feel that, it takes more energy to deal with people who require aid of some kind.
It’s frustrating with my husband, who is both. So i can never tell if it’s a “I couldnt hear you” or a “I didn’t register what you said”.
Two things.
One is my grandfather declining rapidly in health in old age and apart from not really being comfortable around old people (fear of death or something) I also found it hugely difficult just to carry a conversation with the man. So I barely visited him at all before he died. I told myself and my mother that it was because he was in such a bad way and that’s not how I wanted to remember him. That’s partly true but I was just uncomfortable trying to communicate at all.
Then the other one: my wife frequently makes me repeat myself. And I’m fairly certain it’s not even because she didn’t understand me, it’s because she didn’t process what I said. I feel it’s more the disrespect of her not paying attention. And it happens at least daily. One time I sort of snapped and asked ‘Do I really speak that unclearly?’ and she sort of said that I do. But the thing is that others don’t seem to have that issue with me.
And the other way around is also very annoying. When I don’t understand others. And it’s not just auditory, either. Some people just really don’t know how to be clear. They just blurt out any couple of words, sometimes misspelled, and leave interpretation to me. I think it’s just a sign of disrespect if you communicate like that.
Edit: sorry, I just started my rant and forgot you wanted to know how I deal with it. Well, here comes the bad news: I adapt to others. I’ll repeat myself, slowly and more clearly. I go out of my way to try to figure out what others mean when they’re being unclear. Stuff like that. It’s exhausting really.
It’s fine, thanks for stating your experience!
This also regards elderly. And of course they see no fault in their behavior. It/they slowly degraded and of course they carry no part in the issues.
I can also emphasize in the experience with your wife, mine is the same. I really hate it when that happens and it leads to me asking if she’s ready for input, at which she sometimes gets annoyed but that seems a her problem, hehe.
I’ve found that when dealing with people somewhere else on the spectrum, i.e. closer to neurotypical, passive-agressiveness seems like a good solution, or at the very least a good way to convey annoyance, but it’s never a way to cultivate understanding.
I think it’s best to clearly state that this is something that you struggle with. There’s tons of ways to find a solution, particularly with people you’re around a lot, by first identifying what exactly the problem is.
But a simple tool to use when you’re in a bit of a silent hang and you want to say something, rather than diving straight in with your main point (efficient but pointless if you have to repeat it), you can say something useless to grab attention. Something that doesn’t need to repeating. Something like ‘Hey can I tell you something’.
The thing is the reason they’re not on constant alert may also be a sign of a disconnect somewhere. I’ve seen cases of people just not talking anymore because one person talked too much about stuff that the other didn’t find interesting, so their default is not to really listen anymore. The ‘this is probably going to be bullshit anyway’.
Then again, I’m not a therapist or trained in any of this stuff but it’s just my two cents.
Nah, they’re the type of people that don’t really think that stuff they don’t have to deal with does even exist. So talking about struggle would be more of a laugh to them.
There are apps that can show text when you talk, like live captions, that might help.
Another app I recommend is a big text app, you can type what you are saying and it will show it in large readable font.
Whaat?
If it were this is would be easy.
Talk annoyingly loud, now it’s their problem
Well and mine, that’s very exhausting for me.
I mean like get a megaphone
Unrealistic, but fair point hehe
My dad has hearing loss and refuses to wear his hearing aids.
I just talk louder.
I can only recommend you telling him that the more he refuses the more permanent loss he will have.
The people I am talking of are already a few steps further. Both already have severe permanent loss that a hearing aid will not fix, one of them severe.
Talking louder works for short statements, but it does not work for conversation.
Not wearing a hearing aid causes hearing loss?
Yes, indeed. A biological process.
The ear unlearns processing sound. So if you have hearing loss it degrades and will not recover with aid but stop degrading.
And then what’s gone is gone, sadly. That’s why it’s very important to use hearing aid not only to be able to understand but also keep on hearing (with aid).
I am not a doctor but I know this from a few people who got hearing loss with age but also a unfortunate friend who has it at a much younger age. Its an established fact, ask your favorite doctor or acoustic technician who work with this.
Edit: an example URL regarding this (but since I am not well versed in reliable English medical sources I have no idea how good that source is - as I said, feel free to find your own:
I do. Constsntly. He’s a stubborn ass, tho.
I think your best bet is probably a text to speech device or app.
They’re very tech unsavy or rather the. Tech is at fault, so ehh
Dry erase board?
That’s a good idea. But it needs to get worse until they accept that. Still, possibly in some time.
deleted by creator
Im someone who does not like to raise my voice especially in public. I try a bit and give up if its to much.
Yeah that’s what I tend to do. So a lot of communication is lost.
