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I wish I didn’t know that. Now I really want to pet a jaguar.
Very soft
Sebastián, I have one very pressing question. Are jaguar soft?
FTFH.
Pro tip: don’t waste people’s time by forcing them to respond before you ask your question. Be polite and pleasant, AND ask your question at the same time. It saves both them and you a lot of time.
although this is usually correct, here it is important for the joke that setup and punchline are seperated by anticipation.
First of its a joke with a set up and punchline. Secondly its a group chat as can be seen from the two hearts and group chats work differently.
Thank you!
hi
This is probably my biggest pet peeve. I stopped responding entirely, now I just wait until they ask their question. Eventually they’ll learn.
I write all my messages like there will be a 5 day delay for a response. Some people think I am mistaking the chat app for an email service lol
Another thing that is irritating is when people
Type part of a sentence
And sends it
But continue on
And on
And you’re just like
Are you done?
It’s arguably less productive than asking to ask, as your attention is constantly grabbed to the new messages, instead of going back to your thing while waiting for the other to say their question
I do this except I’m just adding more sentences or rewriting my last message with more info
I do that too but then they answer the comment before ei finish the edit and I have to remind them to reread :(
It’s a trick. The jaguars killed Sebastián and used his phone to lure in more prey.
(Edit: As someone who’s contacted experts for research to improve Wikipedia, they’ve all seemed really happy that someone was interested enough in their subject to ask. If you have a question you’ve tried and failed to find an answer for, the worst they can ever do is say “no” or not reply. Try it sometime!)
no
<User has blocked you> <You are banned from Jaguar Facts>
Shoot… now what? <searches Jaguar Conspiracy Theories>
Jaguars are the leading cause of male-pattern baldness.
I thought that was the opposite, you get the baldness first, then you buy a Jaaaaaaaag
Jaguars prefer bubblegum flavored toothpaste.
Big Jaguar has cornered the bubblegum toothpaste market, increasing male pattern baldness. OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE
How long do I get to pet the Jaguar before it kills me?
Is it sleeping? Or awake?
Yep, I’ve also gotten responses pretty reliably from professional artists, including those I’d assumed would be far too busy to answer (including the directors and writers of famous tv shows).
Touch is a good option to distinguish between a jaguar and a shark in a dark room - jaguar is soft and shark is smooth. Easy. You’ll never again confuse a jaguar with a shark.
Shark’s only smooth from front to back. Otherwise shark’s sandpaper.
Nope. Sharks are smooth as hell in all directions.
In general, the crowns of dermal denticles have cusps pointing tailward, which is why a shark feels relatively smooth if stroked from head-to-tail but sandpapery coarse if stroked the other way.
http://www.elasmo-research.org/education/white_shark/scales.htm
It’s telling me that shark skin is “smooth from all directions and at all times”
Are you reading the same thing I’m reading? Literally every search result describes shark skin as dermal denticles, or sharp tooth-like scales aligned from front to back, “relatively smooth” in one direction, and sandpaper-like in the other.
Apparently other animals regularly get injured brushing up against them.
Well, I’m touching a shark right now. Rubbing it every which way. No direction is off limits. It’s smoother than the finest silks
But other question, is shark wet?
No, sharks are smooth all over.
I remember when I went to an aquarium as a kid and touched the sting rays in the touch tank. That texture has stayed in my mind ever since. I still can’t find anything it compares well to.
I still can’t find anything it compares well to.
So … what was it like ?
Like an eagle ray
Well stingrays are closely related to sharks, and sharks are smooth so…
You might enjoy a shagrin couch.
I was 100% sure that would be the answer. Is there a feline that is rough?
I have one yes, very rough. Negative survival intincts. Got trapped once and didn’t even try to get out.
This is an abuse of power. But since you’ve crossed the line already, could you ask about axolotles? Do they look happy even when they are sad?
Pretty sure Sebastián would be happy to answer this question to non-journalists too
Non-journalists are soft too.
I recently learned that kangaroos are soft, which surprised me as I always imagined them like weird deer and deer are not soft. I feel like this needs to be a list I can look at somewhere.
Stroked many a roo, wallaby and other macropods and they’re not soft everywhere. More interesting is that there’s no real give to their softness. They’re solid muscle below the skin so you don’t really want to poke them too hard. Does depend on the species too though - I ain’t touching a red. A quokka and bettong are quite pliable and have that give when you stroke them, like a cat.
Domestic cat that is. When I stroked a cheetah it was all muscle and smooth but not soft, more like a deer
smooth but not soft
Like a shark.
Are you looking for the Animal Smoothness Scale?
I think they’re looking for the Animal Softness scale
The two together form a two dimensional chart though
I wonder where humans lie on that scale. There’s such a range between ages, hormone levels, and even seasons (my hands are normally soft, but dry winter air is currently interfering with that.)
Animals vary from one to another as well though. Even in the same litter, you can have one with rough fur and one with fine soft fur. That’s besides the fact that there are many breed of deer.
Why are there two reactions? Who else was let in on this critical information?
Sebastiàn liked his own message
As he should, it was a good message.
Us now 🥲
Next question, can I visit and experience the softness myself?
Yes but only once
Forbidden dinner date
Worth it
Right? Must pet spicy floof!
Can you imagine how it would feel if the Jaguar curled up in your lap and went to sleep?
I sure hope I can imagine it, because that’s as close as I’ll ever get XD
Why’d you remove your own upvote? You’re allowed to like the smell of your own.
It’s a server setting. Their instance doesn’t auto-upvote, and can’t downvote.
Neat.
But are sharks smooth?
They definitely are, regardless of the direction.
Depends which direction you pet them.
No
They can be if they are attracted to you.
Only when they’re trying to date you
Depends on the angle.
Sometimes jaguar sharp
deleted by creator
Soft in t’ ead, maybe…
Don’t just take Sebastian on his word. Ask him to send you a sample.
