Let me know if it worked. Either way though, I’m open to answers on what I asked from anyone who sees this as it’s an interesting question.
Anatomy does not define gender, so is it still gender euphoria if it’s not about the gender, but the anatomy?
I’ve been secretly thinking of it as nb trans for a while, but I’ve not really said it to anyone aside from in this thread.
I like non-binary too, it’s kinda like ‘queer’ (my other identifier of choice) because it covers all the bases and allows for freedom of movement within it.
If it comes up socially, I’ll probably go with ‘non-binary fem’ as it’s less likely to cause offence, and tbh I don’t really want to be talking about my genitals to people.
If I ever get my dick though I’ll probably be more comfortable using the trans label outwardly. Though I still have my little trans flag I embroidered on my jeans when things started getting bad here (UK) recently, so it might be assumed anyway by folk that see it I guess. And it definitely is if I’m unable to shave for a few days and stuck somewhere where I have to be seen by people (hospital is not fun).
Do you feel this dysphoria with your parts but not gender too?
Oh wow, I really appreciate your replying to this!
I considered trying testosterone cream for growth down there when I was younger but the increased body hair really put me off. I’m naturally already hairy and used to be very, very beardy when I was younger. Seriously, if I was a trans man I would have lucked out on the facial hair front. I obsessed over plucking it all out throughout my teens, and then in my 20’s had so many electrolysis sessions and yet I’m in my 30’s now and still have to shave every few days as these damn follicles just haven’t fucking died.
The lower voice thing though is something I’m after. Despite my not being a very talky person anymore, I’ve been casually voice training for a while now since discovering it could be done without T. Women with low voices are cool and Dr Girlfriend is low key goals.
Back when I was still into having sex, straps and similar toys were something I was really into and there’s a few shapes/styles which I really enjoyed as I could have a dick while also getting sensation from the other areas it was in contact with. The positioning was always off though as what felt best didn’t fuck best and visa versa. Also most of mine were purple or pink as my skin tone doesn’t really come in dildo format and other ‘skin’ colours look gross usually.
Soft packers aren’t my jam from what I’ve tried of them, but I’ve not actually seen functional prosthetics before, these are very interesting!
I think I just had a moment of gender euphoria from seeing an actual dick looking dick that fucks like a dick, attached to someone like that. I’m going get one of these, I want to see that on myself. Thank you for linking that site!
If it’s ok with you, I might message you at some point just to say hello and maybe talk about this and ask about your experiences.
Ok I’ve written a lot and am now very tired, so I’m going to stop now as it’s getting difficult. Thank you for commenting and giving me stuff to think about!
I think I will be doing this. Thank you!
I’ve not seen that site before, thank you for linking it!
I look into all the options every few years and phallo is still the closest end result to what I want and it still isn’t advanced enough to be producing outcomes that look, act and feel like real dicks.
I’ve actually been with someone who had metoidioplasty though! It was sensitive and looked good (albeit very small) and they were very happy with it, but it’s not something I could see my body having.
Idk. Like I’m currently in my 6th year of an aro/ace stage in my life due to finally having space to process a lot of traumatic stuff I’ve been putting off, and that makes this whole thing extra hard to talk about because my ideal body plan is directly connected to my ideal sexual presentation and behaviour.
So while I really would like to have my own functioning dick that I can have penetrative sex with, I’m also unsure if I’m even going to come out of this aro/ace stage I’m in and medical science is still incapable of creating what I actually want, which makes this all kinda just feel like pointless yearning and trauma/dysphoria dumping on strangers.
Sorry about that.
I feel similarly about people who voted Labour in the last UK election.
Oh wow, why am I crying, haha. Thank you.
I don’t know where I’m going to take this but I feel better about it all for knowing it’s valid.
High five, there’s officially two of us!
I’ve never talked about this either, I actually got a little bit tearful when I posted it, not quite worked out the emotion why yet though.
I understand it’s about bodily autonomy but after seeing friends dealing with so much self loathing due to their anatomy, and hearing my ex talking about what she went through to get surgery and the complications she had after, it always felt like it would be wrong, like rubbing sand into a wound, to bring up how I wanted to present myself. My ex probably guessed a bit eventually but she was not into it.
If I meet more trans guys who it’s appropriate to talk to about this, I’ll give it a go! Thank you for your advice.
I might actually email my ex and see if I can talk to her about this too. I don’t know too many people irl right now and she’s a pretty good problem solver, all things considered.
Thank you, I appreciate your input on this!
Thank you for replying! I definitely have body dismorphia, you’re right on that.
Cis folk definitely have gender dysphoria, it’s why they’ve boxed themselves into gendered roles so thoroughly. Calling stuff gender affirming when cis people do it makes the bigots twitch, which can be quite funny.
I’ve watched quite a few of Abigail’s videos over the years but I kinda soured on her when she tried talking about veganism, she ended up saying that she couldn’t go vegan because her cultural and family meals were more important to her so she didn’t want to think about it. Which she admitted was a very privileged view to have but it still kinda annoyed me.
This rant is off topic, sorry. Her talks about everything else are usually really good and I appreciate the recommendation! I have a lot of painting to do later, so I’ll put this one on.
Thank you for replying! I really wasn’t expecting so many answers!
That’s why the trans community usually avoids telling other people if they are trans or not - or deny anyone that label who claims it.
Which brings me to my conundrum. Is it wrong to identify with a label if there is no way of achieving it? Like if there is no surgical possibility of transitioning to the body that I want, am I still trans?
Lmao, this is descending into philosophy and you are not obliged to answer. I’m just having existential doubts about my non-existent dick and how it socially defines me.
Thank you for replying! This is such a tricky topic to navigate, I really appreciate your input.
I’ve thought about this a lot and ngl, if I was born male my life would have been a lot easier in many ways (and a lot more difficult in others, obviously), but I’m pretty sure at this point that I likely would have ended up presenting female and getting modified to match my gender (nb female) but keeping my sex intact.
I’m actually quite envious of the women who’ve achieved this as their final form, but I’ve not knowingly even met any though.
All the trans women I’ve known and loved have hated their og anatomy, and I felt like it would be insulting to say that was what I wanted for my body when they fought so hard to get rid of it.
The trans guys I’ve known over the years have either been shitty people or much younger than me, so I’ve never bothered to try talking to them about this as they were bullies, or it was inappropriate subject matter for kids I’m tutoring.
I’ve only known like 5 trans guys though, compared to the 20 something trans women who’ve been in my life over the years.
Idk, I worry that even if I meet a trans guy I can talk to about this, I’ll avoid it anyway as I’d be scared of feeling like I’m insulting their masculinity by wanting something for myself that the surgery just isn’t advanced enough yet to provide for actual men like them.
Pinch zoom into the photo and really look. He has dull and bumpy skin. Man needs to moisturise, and you might need glasses.
His skin looks dry and bumpy.
I like it on you, needs a little more on the cheeks tho.
Btw that looks like fungal acne (it’s common don’t worry!), washing your face with a dandruff shampoo will clear your skin up. And don’t forget to moisturise!
Oh, you are one of the women I envy! You have my ideal body plan.
I want to ask you some questions about your orientation and how your finding it navigating social/sexual relationships and stuff, if you’d be open to that?
Also it’s a bit off topic but I’m hella curious about how you’re balancing your hormones for both femininity and functionality. I’ve only known women who were dysphoric as hell about that area and they all said estrogen made it much less functional and therefore less of an issue for them.
I really wish there was a term for this type of femininity that wasn’t a slur or a fetish. Trying to talk about being a woman this way is so difficult as there is so much baggage attached to this concept now by people who are not part of it and I’m worried I’m going to inadvertently come across that way if I word stuff awkwardly.