I’m afab and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.

Basically I’m comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I’ve got in my pants. I’ve felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it’s not a phase or a fetish, it’s how I’ve wanted to present sexually for most of my life.

Does this disconnect I’m talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?

Are there any other people here who feel this way?

(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn’t look right (to me) when it heals, it isn’t functional how I would want it to be, and it isn’t sensitive like a dick.)

  • moonlight@fedia.io
    4·
    1 day ago

    Which brings me to my conundrum. Is it wrong to identify with a label if there is no way of achieving it? Like if there is no surgical possibility of transitioning to the body that I want, am I still trans?

    It’s absolutely not wrong. Labels aren’t about what you do with your body, it’s about how you feel.

    As a nonbinary person, I officially give you permission to identify as nonbinary, trans, or both. 🤝 I like ‘nonbinary’ because it’s really broad and inclusive, and doesn’t have some of the connotations that the term ‘trans’ has (even though nb is under the trans umbrella) I think it would be very reasonable if you decide that it fits you.

    • Aksamit@slrpnk.netOP
      2·
      9 hours ago

      I’ve been secretly thinking of it as nb trans for a while, but I’ve not really said it to anyone aside from in this thread.

      I like non-binary too, it’s kinda like ‘queer’ (my other identifier of choice) because it covers all the bases and allows for freedom of movement within it.

      If it comes up socially, I’ll probably go with ‘non-binary fem’ as it’s less likely to cause offence, and tbh I don’t really want to be talking about my genitals to people.

      If I ever get my dick though I’ll probably be more comfortable using the trans label outwardly. Though I still have my little trans flag I embroidered on my jeans when things started getting bad here (UK) recently, so it might be assumed anyway by folk that see it I guess. And it definitely is if I’m unable to shave for a few days and stuck somewhere where I have to be seen by people (hospital is not fun).