I feel so tired after half a day of work, never mind working a full day. After a couple of weeks of this, when i get home, i have no energy left for anything. Even things I usually enjoy.
Everything feels like a drag at that point and I can’t seem to do anything to improve this.
Doing this for a few more months usually ends up with me having to quit my job or i will get so tired and sick I can’t do anything anymore.
How to deal with this?
No matter how much it sucks, start working out. I know it sounds absolutely counterintuitive but using that energy for a 1h workout will give you so much power back.
When I started working out I joined a boxing fitness class, it was simple. 1 hour, no prep, no need to think about gear and just follow instructions. It was exhausting but it rejuvenated me like crazy. It was like I had never charged my batteries before, because they never really drained so I had all this old, shit energy in me that was finally replenished.
The first few times are rough but you’ll only gain from it, keep at it. Find something that’s easy to get to, near work or home and just do it. Don’t think, pack a bag tonight and try something out tomorrow.
I can’t stress enough how good of an advice working out is. I am incredibly fortunate that I’m living in a beautiful area. So my go to was hiking. It is more time consuming than going to the gym, yes. But I get to see some nice shit and the fresh air is good for my mood. It’s also some great time to keep up with my audiobooks that I love to ignore otherwise.
If you have some mountains in your area give it a try. But it can be costly. At some point you might get a pair of good hiking boots and breathable clothes. But that’s only if you want to go serious with it. For your first few trips casual clothes and shoes will do.
Thanks for the suggestion.
I can’t say I’m really doing a lot of sports. But I do hike a lot these days (the advantage is not having a job atm)
Usually I don’t feel much difference though. (Apart from physical tiredness and my skin feeling burned and dry, I dont deal well with the sun)
Do you think high intensity exercise will make a big difference? I’m a bit scared I’ll do something wrong since I quickly start feeling pain in my neck or knees when doing exercise.
So difficult to tell how much is too much, but still so enough to benefit from it.
Try starting out with bands - they aren’t as hard to the joints as weights.
I started a few years ago with a band and the instructed exercises that came with the band ( all of them have it ). After a few weeks i already had a feeling of how much is ok - it comes with the first times you get aware of your body core.
Now i have a set of different bands for different exercises - i can only recommend this for starters
also, drink much water like lot’s of water
Edit: and, it’s never too late - i started when i was 47, am now 52 and it’s a different world for me. Before that i was in the office or home-office sitting 8 hours a day and completely out of energy after work for years ( + 20 years )
Sounds good. I don’t know anything about that. What sort of bands would you recommend?
There are different resistance classes, i would start with the lightest ( usually they are in orange ).
Do the exercises until you don’t feel any resistance anymore, then you can switch to the next resistance level.
I would recommend a multi band for the beginning, it’s very versatile (with loops) and you can train the whole body with one band.
Personally i like the bands from blackroll, but it’s up to you which brand you prefer. Keep in mind that some brands have their own color codes for different resistance levels. Most use the Orange ( lightest ) to Black ( hardest ) codes though.
High intensity exercise works great for stress and anxiety. Even just a few minutes will make a noticeable difference.
What should I look out for to notice the difference?
I am surprisingly bad at noticing my own mental state, especially when tired.
Usually after exercise I just feel like I need rest. Then I have some rest or a nap and I feel pretty much like normal again. I can’t seem to tell very well.
I won’t notice a qualitative difference most of the time either, but I have noticed that I am much less anxious and have a better time at social gatherings when I have exercised than when I haven’t. It’s tricky for those of us who can’t take stock of ourselves very well.
I suppose I wouldn’t have noticed it because usually the moments I’m doing more sports are also the moments when I’m not working and usually not meeting people. (Since I wouldn’t have the energy otherwise)
Might be good to keep an eye out for those activities after sports, thanks for the suggestion!
High intensity helps me. Going to the gym does not give me the same type of drain.
Find something that’s low impact, swimming? The fitness boxing I went to was mainly your own body weight and punching a bag with gloves so not very high impact. Tell the teacher/coach and ask them to recommend you alternative moves.
Get into hot yoga? Zumba or something like that.
Where I live there’s a thing called ClassPass and you buy points in the app that you can then spend on whatever class/sports/gym/whatever you want. See if there’s something similar near you and test shit out.
I think high intensity also gives better results for me. But I can really start sweating like crazy, even with moderate exercise.
I once joined Zumba and was completely soaked and exhausted afterwards. Didn’t want to do it ever again (even though I kinda liked it)
I actually have classpass here, so maybe i should try out the month trial. How expensive are classes in general? Are the businesses that work with classpass decent quality?
I work in IT, so a desk job with almost no movement. If I wasn’t doing sports I’d be crashing hard as well.
I always feel like, if someone with a sporty routine (lets say gym once or twice a week for 2h) stops doing sports for a longer period of time (2 weeks) they will feel generally pissed. But it never feels like sports are the reason. Then you do sports again and suddenly feel much better, at which point you face palm and think ‘of course!’.
And it feels like that every fucking time. It’s stupid but knowing it helps.
I’ll second this. I don’t have autism, but I do have ADHD and I think we have a lot of parallels when it comes to a social battery.
The gym is no joke when it comes to having more energy and drive to do more outside of work.
The first few weeks will not be fun and you’ll be more tired than ever before, but if you preserve then you’ll soon have more energy, feel more alert and generally be healthier. Keeping a good sleep schedule is key too. Go to bed and get up at the same time even on the weekends will work wonders.
I generally don’t quit my job because I like to eat and junk but I tell you it just gets worse as you get older (don’t know how old you are but im not on the low side of a century anymore). Honestly work would not be an issue if not for all the home things. medical, taxes, insurance, dealing with the houshold, etc. If it was just work and relax and it would not be so bad.
Yeah. That’s often something I also have difficulties with.
I can deal with working, or I can do chores, cook, administration and keeping home.
But i can’t seem to do both.
If I’m working full time, I just don’t have the energy left to deal with these tasks. Which also quickly drops my energy further as now I’m eating less healthy, not keeping up with bills and living in a messy environment.
It’s hard to deal with. I’m lucky I can still last some time without working, but it won’t last forever. A few months at most.
Yes this is how I feel. I could keep on top of one or the other but with both it ends up half assing all around.
Ever find a way to deal with this?
Is it just that I’m unable to work as much as other people and should reduce my hours (not really easy though)
Or am I doing the wrong things, losing too much energy because of certain tasks or masking too much or something?
It’s so difficult to tell. And when you feel like all energy is used up, I’m no longer making good decisions at that point. So easy to waste time on useless stuff then.
Can’t say I do. I just muddle through. Prioritize. House a mess. Well to bad at least the bills are paid on time. I make it a point to get one thing done each workday that is not a daily activity (so like making food does not count but clearing dishes out of the sink into the dishwasher or laundry do). then on weekends I try to get get more major things done starting with the most important. Bills due soonest and such. It does not help that businesses have more restrictive hours than ever to talk with someone.
I think not having time for myself to just think or relax can be one of the most demotivating things to realize.
I understand that I need to work to earn money to survive, but when I’m working, I start having difficulties staying on top of chores and I don’t really have energy left to enjoy what little time remains.
This quickly turns into exhaustion, depression and whatnot. Which eventually lowers my performance at work until I just have to quit to recover.
When out of a job, I tend to recover decently over a period of a few months. But soon I’ll have bills to pay and no money left, so back to work it is. And the cycle repeats.
Oh my performance is certainly lower but my pay has not kept up with inflation so do my 40, take an hour lunch each day, and muddle through that as well. Exhaustion and depression my wife and I have in spades but its not like its for no reason. Hardships abound. I get ya though. If I was not married im not sure I would be able to keep working steady in this state but I have to keep our health insurance going.
Paul from Autisme from the inside, recommended that one think about recovery from mental exhaustion as work.
Autisme from the inside: The burnout trap
So have started think 15 mental break/ 45min work. With meditation or non sleep deep rest. Sometime I do 90min or more but take equivalent longer break.
Dr Andrew Huberman
After the 90-minute interval, take a 30-minute break. Use this time to relax, recharge, and step away from your work. This break allows your brain to reset and prepares you for the next focused session. After the break, return to another 90-minute focused session
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HINgMMTzPE
I also noticed that if my Vitamin D level is low it take a lot longer to recover. For non summertime I do 40000IU/day. Summer i do 10000IU/day + as much midday sun without sunscreen I can get.
How do you do this at work though? Is nobody going to find it strange or all about it when you take such a break?
And how to actually have the break if you are in a busy/loud/uncomfortable environment?
I think i could build in some more breaks when working from home, but at work it’s almost impossible. I just don’t feel safe/comfortable at work, so I can’t really take a proper break.
We have a dedicated short rest room. But I have also done it common area or at my desk.
I wear my good friend, noice canceling headphones.
I can understand that you don’t feel safe/comfortable. How do you get comfortable with something new if you don’t try?
I think it’s more the feeling that somebody will call me out when resting, or that I might miss something important, or unfamiliarity with the people around me.
At work i already feel like I’m constantly alert. Trying to sing anything that make me look like a bad employee.
Until my energy runs out of course. Then I usually still force myself to keep working, but everything goes at a glacial pace and my tiredness just accumulates even further.
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As someone else suggested, I do also reccommend exercise, as counter intuitive as it may seem. What hours are you working? Morning shifts can be a bit harder to recover from if you dont find some way to get yourself out of the slump. I used to give myself an hour in front of the tv back when I worked mornings, then force myself to do some housework which would often jolt me back to life by breaking up the day. When I work later shifts, I try to claim as much of my morning for myself as I can, be it chores or exercise, so when I get home, if I have energy left for hobbies then that is a bonus, but I stay strict on my bedtimes so I can keep getting the mornings
Usually I work pretty regular hours 9-5/6. I find it difficult to cope with the fact that so many hours in a day are dedicated to working for somebody else, so i find it even harder to spend more time on maintenance activities to compensate for the fact that I’m working all day.
I’m really impressed by people that go to the gym early morning or straight after work.
Currently not working though. So I could easily fit in some exercise, but keeping the routine after going back to work is always the difficult part.
I often go to the gym straight after work. It sure as heck helps that I mostly go to classes, many of which I have book a spot in. Often I book even if it wont be full just to have already made the commitment. Many of my classes are also timed such that I can get off the bus from work and just head over or that I can get home and do ONE chore.
Then it has become a routine and now it is part of my after work routine. Bonus of going to classes is that you can get some light socializing in.
I probably should try doing this.
But the cost of gym classes kinda scares me off. Especially at this moment when I’m not really earning any income.
Definitely feels like it would be easier to join a class than follow my own training plan though. And having some other people to motivate you sounds great.
Don’t know how the market is around where you live but it may be worth it to shop around a little and see what the fitness centers offers. Since I didn’t remember if I had to make a choice when I joined mine I took a look and their only offer is ALL OF IT - classes and gym. Looked around and it was the same elsewhere too. Well pretty much everywhere else, the exception was a place where the cheap offer was swimming area and gym.
Based on some of your other comments, it would be interesting if you logged your blood pressure and pulse throughout the day. Once in the morning, before/after meals, evening, and whatever times seem like they may be relevant.
I got a simple automatic cuff type from the grocery store. They make some that can do it on your wrist too, which is a little easier to carry around. Mine has a history function. Smart watches/trackers can monitor your pulse more often.
Check your blood work. I get all the details in MyChart (Epic) and can even compare from previous results. If there isn’t an app, get your records and input it manually in a spreadsheet or other app that hopefully doesn’t harvest your data. If they are not doing regular blood work a couple times a year, they are doing you a disservice.
How is your sleep? You may not be sleeping as well as you think. This is priority 1. Wash your sheets. Clean sheets are awesome.
You could be depressed or have an undiagnosed mental illness. This is ok, but you have to talk to someone. It is hard as hell to make that phone call, but your mental health is worth it. Your mental health is worth everything. I did not check if you were female, but note that birth control can cause this shit. Hormones suck.
I think you said you were in pain or discomfort? If you are, take notes on the type of pain, where, how often, duration and anything you were doing. By the time I get to the doctor, I often can’t visualize or remember the exact sensation. You could easily have something in your environment bothering you, a food allergy, gall bladder issues, thyroid, or a whole host of random shit. Switch to fragrance free laundry detergent. Maybe cut out caffeine. Just be sure to only change one thing at a time.
Don’t let doctors gaslight you or downplay your issues. Advocate for yourself and take notes. You can even have a friend go with you to the doctor if you have a lot of anxiety. They can take notes for you and potentially give insights and ask questions you may not think of.
This. Especially looking at the quality of your sleep (poor sleep can trigger or exacerbate depression). There is a high prevalence of sleep-related issues in the autistic community. If you haven’t had a sleep study done, I recommend doing it (it’s uncomfortable and not a good night’s sleep, but it will help identify issues such as sleep apnoea or restless leg syndrome).
Also go through all the typical sleep hygiene stuff (I know it can be annoying and tedious, but these factors can play a bigger role in autism than for neurotypicals due to sensory issues) such as temperature, noise and light. Are your pillow and mattress comfortable and providing the support you need, or are you tossing and turning, or waking up sore or uncomfortable?
What worked for me was to start working from home. I had a similar experience before the pandemic, but once I started to work from home this feeling went away.
I guess for me, the office has too many distractions. It was hard to focus on my work. All these distractions put a big toll on me over time. Traveling to and from work was also too exhausting.
I think the period I worked from home was actually quite uncomfortable for me.
Initially it felt great, having more control over my environment and being able to take breaks at will.
But i also noticed that I spend way too much time on my computer. So i went from working to gaming and browsing without a moment in between.
At the moment it feels like I burned out myself on screen usage.
And I found it very hard to make friends or get to know people better. I’m already not good at this, but only having snippets of time with my colleagues combined with staying at home after hours meant that i basically had no moments to make new friends or spend time with the few people I know.
Makes it difficult to enjoy WFH now.
I’ve always heard that wfh can be really hard to manage if you don’t have a separate environment for work. If you’re just working from your normal ‘play’ space your brain has a very hard time breaking out of those patterns and focusing on specific tasks that aren’t what you’re used to in that context.
I definitely noticed this. But also the opposite seems to be true.
When i worked at the office in my last job, I find it almost impossible to take a decent break. When I’m in the office, it seems like the only thing I can do is work. But that quickly leads to exhaustion.
At home I can more easily take a break. But then I have to be careful I don’t turn it into a gaming/browsing binge.
Just sitting in front of my computer and working can already be enough trigger to start wasting time on other activities on my computer.
My apartment is a bit too small to have separate areas for work and play though. And i don’t really have the funds to have a separate computer setup for either.
When i worked at the office in my last job, I find it almost impossible to take a decent break.
What is wrong with your labor laws? In my country there’s a mandatory 1 hour break(30 minutes of which is paid) in a full day of work.
Here it’s quite typical to have a 30 min break for lunch.
But that’s just spent on getting food, eating and returning to the office.
It just doesn’t feel enough for me on a given day.
And I’m really bad at figuring out how to take short breaks like my colleagues do. Having a 10 min talk with coworkers doesn’t really feel like a break. And I often don’t know how long and what kind of things are acceptable, so I tend to avoid taking any breaks.
Sounds stupid, but there is just some kind of underlying fear that I can’t get out of my head. And having less time to work on my actual responsibilities make that more stressful as well.
It’s hard to come up with a specific answer for this because everyone is different. I think you might be better served by asking this same question to a qualified therapist who can help you work through it. It could be as simple as “You need to force yourself to get up and get more exercise” or as complex as “You have clinical depression and you should be medicated if you want to feel normal again”.
For me, I used to feel the same way after work. I would just come home and veg out, not care about much of anything, and take very little joy even in things I liked. The thing that snapped me out of it was my failing health causing me to be forced to switch up my diet and go to the gym a few times a week. It wasn’t easy to get started, but once I was about 2-3 weeks into my new routine I was feeling more energetic and motivated. I noticed I was getting better sleep too which made me feel ready to tackle the day every morning that I woke up for work rather than dread going in.
Again, your mileage may vary, I would strongly advise to speak to a doctor if you are having difficulties with this issue to the point where it’s negatively impacting your quality of life. Don’t put it off until your health is impacted like I did.
Would be good to have a professionals opinion on it for sure. I haven’t had that great experience with therapists though.
Not that they were bad, but they didn’t seem to understand how a lot of things simply didn’t apply to me or affect me differently.
Most of the advice I got, I already understood very well. Or researched by myself in detail. But there always seems to be a point where it comes down to ‘just do it’ and I don’t manage to. Or only for a certain period, and then everything collapses again.
I think one aspect that’s especially difficult for me is that I can’t tell when I’m doing better. After I start some routine for exercise, I just don’t notice any significantly difference over a period of a month or so. (In terms of mood specifically)
Eventually I give up, because it seems like it’s having no effect, but still requires significant time and effort.
Have you checked with a doctor? There might be a medical cause.
I mean, work sucks, but unless you’re swinging a sledgehammer all day, it shouldn’t drain you completely the way you describe.
I did. And usually they say I’m perfectly healthy and recommend me to see a psychiater.
For some reason I feel like there is still something else underlying this though. Usually when I’m feeling depressed or anxious it’s because I’m also feeling uncomfortable or painful in some way. And it passes after the pain is gone.
But I have no idea how to describe this to the doctor and all their basic tests just show nothing.
I also don’t feel particularly unhealthy, i eat quite well and do exercise (although not super intensive)
I’m really jealous when I see these older colleagues who smoke multiple times per day and are visibly overweight. And somehow they have 10x the energy of me.
Sometimes I wonder if people around me are all on performance enhancing drugs or something. That’s what it feels like. I tried drinking coffee in the past, but I can’t really deal with the taste, and it seems to make me drowsy for some reason.
Do you trust the doctors with your life?
Remember what they call the person who graduated in last place from medical school: Doctor.
They aren’t all bad, but many are overworked, too busy to focus, and perhaps burnt out. They also might need a full history over time to make a diagnosis. By way of example, during an annual physical, my doctor noticed my weight gain, and said there was no way I could gain that much weight in a year without something wrong. He ordered blood work and found a thyroid disorder. That also explained why I had no energy to do anything more than the bare minimum to survive.
Looking just at thyroid disorders, a doctor might just check TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone). The “normal range” is 0.5 - 5.0. So your TSH could be 4.9, and your doctor would say it’s normal. However, I know a bunch of people with thyroid issues, and everyone I know feels “normal” when their TSH is close to 1.0.
If your doctor orders a thyroid antibodies test, they could discover Hashimotos Thyroiditis (which happens to be my diagnosis, as well as my wife’s and my three children). Basically that means your immune system is attacking and destroying your thyroid gland. When she was first diagnosed, my daughter’s TSH was normal, but the antibodies test was positive, so they knew it was just a matter of time.
How do you make sure every possibility is covered though?
I don’t really go to a doctor regularly.
Do you think I should? And try to find a doctor which seems competent? But how do you evaluate this? And how regularly should you visit a doctor?
Usually when I finally get to a doctor, most of my symptoms are already over. When feeling bad, I typically won’t make an appointment because I feel mentally incapable. Unable to make an appointment, get there, and then manage to explain what is wrong.
That sounds almost impossible to me.
You should go to the doctor at least once a year. They can check you out in a physical, and order blood work, and see how things change over time. It’s also easier for them to deal with other routine illness when you’ve been seeing them regularly, and they can make sure you’re getting your routine vaccinations. It doesn’t matter if the symptoms have passed. You can still describe them to the doctor and they should still consider them.
Regarding how to know if the doctor you’re seeing is competent, a lot of that is how you feel when you’re with them. How do they treat you? Do they remember what you told them last time? Have they been thinking about it, reading about your symptoms, looking up possible causes?
Regarding a psych referral, it depends on how that was brought up. If they mentioned that some of your problems sounded like depression, then they might be suggesting that there’s something there for you to deal with. However, if you think there’s a medical problem, and the psych referral feels to you like they’re not trying, that’s a bad sign.
“To a hammer, everything looks like a nail”
A medical doctor should be looking for medical causes for symptoms. The way they come to a diagnosis is by identifying possible causes and ruling them out one by one. If they jumped to psychological causes without ruling out medical causes, I’d be concerned that they aren’t really trying.
When I started seeing my current doctor, I already had two issues that had been diagnosed: Hashimotos Thyroiditis, and gout. When I came to him, I wanted to avoid taking meds for the gout, so he recommended drinking coffee to prevent flare-ups. In that first visit he also gave me a referral to see a sleep specialist because he thought I had sleep apnea.
I ended up having a sleep study and got a CPAP machine. That allowed me to have actually restful sleep for the first time in years.
Each time I returned, he had done more research into what my issues were and he had new things to try. He also has my family medical history, so he’s watching out for issues that I might be prone to because of genetics.
I’m on medicine to reduce uric acid for the gout now because he had done additional reading and in one of my appointments he explained that new research showed that the high uric acid that causes gout flare-ups could also cause other issues due to causing general inflammation. Even though the coffee was preventing severe flare-ups, he convinced me to try allopurinol to reduce the uric acid.
He’s also been concerned about the weight I gained due to the thyroid issues, so he’s been working with me to help me lose weight.
What I’m saying is, after every visit, I leave feeling like my concerns have been addressed. He listens to what I’m telling him, and responds to what I say.
If you’re not happy with the doctor you’ve seen, you should seek out someone who you feel comfortable with. My current doctor isn’t the first doctor I’ve seen. There were probably five or six doctors I’ve seen over the years that were underwhelming before I found him. One good way to find a doctor is to talk to friends, family, or coworkers and find out if they have a doctor they like.
Cutting out my bad media habits worked for me (social media on my phone every minute of free time, and hours of Youtube in the evenings). Days feel longer, I’ve been reading a lot, finding time to exercise and finish projects (even during the work week). Also, my sleep has improved.
It does seem to help. I recently made a commitment to avoid digital media on my own.
I don’t think games or reddit or browsing is necessarily that bad in limited amounts. But it becomes too easy to start spending all your time on it because everything else feels too much effort and less fun.
I still allow myself any form of digital entertainment, but only when I do something together with friends. That way I still have some social contact, and I’ll have to do the effort to meet up if I want to do something fun.
When I’m by myself I’ll usually limit myself to reading, writing, going for walks, etc
Oh also, I snack a lot less and have lost weight. The initial reason I cut out media was in the evenings all I would do is snack and watch stuff until bed. And I NEVER actually felt ready for bed. Maybe I’d be tired, but there was some existential dread or something that I was wasting my life and not pursuing my interests.
Are you sure it’s not just depression?
I guess it could be. It seems to have gotten worse with each job I held.
I’m doing a bit better now, not having any work. But I’m not sure how to start a new job and keep it sustainable.
I’m really afraid of feeling this absolute exhaustion again and having to quit again.
Feels more like anxiety and fear to me, which eventually leads me to a shutdown and depression like symptoms.
I’ll say I’ve noticed that there are places in my house that trap me into an energy drain stasis, so I try to avoid letting myself get into my rot spot unless I’m ok with doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.
Wow, that would be annoying. Currently I’m basically living in a studio, so would be difficult to avoid a specific spot in the home.
I’m no doctor but I’ve been living with this my entire life. I’m only realizing recently that is not normal to be in constant pain and so chronically exhausted that even my libido has almost completely died. i am now seeing a cardiologist and had to wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks and get an echocardiogram, because i was nearly passing out from very light work in the heat. my doctor suspects POTS and i know that I’m hypermobile, but having trouble qualifying for testing for Ehler Danlos. these conditions commonly present together and pretty much take you out of commission. definitely see a doctor.
doctors will probably give you the run-around at first and say it’s depression. well, let me tell you from extensively researching my symptoms, that depression can develop from these symptoms, it’s not always the cause. i am depressed and anxious because I’m constantly in a state of pain and exhaustion and nothing i do is ever enough to keep up. it’s a horrible way to live and I’m hoping for answers so i can at least have guidance from doctors on minimizing these things.
EDIT: i now see what community this post is in. POTS and EDS are higher in the autistic community. read a bit into those conditions and see if you relate.
I actually went to the doctor once because I almost fainted when taking a blood pressure test. I have this occasionally, also when riding a bus or train when it’s hot outside.
They did some basic tests, but didn’t do a tilt test because at that moment, i didn’t seem to have any issues.
Actually, most of the time I go to doctors, they say I’m perfectly healthy and nothing is wrong. But I do feel uncomfortable and painful relatively often.
I also think that when I visit any doctor, my heartrate shoots up, which brings it closer to the normal or higher range. Even though from day to day, my heart rate is typically very low and I frequently feel like blacking out when standing up.
I don’t really have a strong mindset though, so i will typically not challenge a doctor’s opinion. Especially not when I’m feeling low energy and tired (which is usually when I go to the doctor)
you sound a lot like me, until i got scared i would lose my job. i haven’t tried talking to doctors about this for years because i was dismissed without tests or anything and i didn’t have a frame of reference to tell them how bad it was. i finally just laid it all out to my doctor, almost crying because i was taking at least 1 sick day a week at that point. i waited WAY too long and my body literally said “fuck this” and stopped. but i have a more active job, so i am literally unable to perform my job duties at times now.
I’m really hoping for some help, but neither of those suspected conditions have a cure, you basically just learn how to live with it… good luck to you on your journey.
Reduce your workload, if possible.
Instead of 38.5 hours/week, try to get down to 20-24 hrs/week, if possible.
I actually experimented with this in the past.
It does help quite a bit. ( but for some projects i would spend too much time catching up what i missed the other days)
The trouble is mostly finding part time work. When I tried it in the past, it was because I was already working full time and asked to have it reduced.
But now i don’t have a job, and finding pastime options from the start seems to be more difficult than finding a full time job.
I suppose I could start something full time and ask for a reduction later. But I’m a bit worried on how long I’ll be able to handle working full time.
Which field do you work in?
Not in one field specifically. But I have the most experience in software engineering, functional analysis, and tutoring (university-level)
Have you considered switching professions?
What about retail worker in a grocery store?
Telling a software engineer to work retail is a punch in the gut.
You might think so; But I used to do software, and now I’m starting retail on thursday. Wish me luck!
How do you pay rent? None of the jobs in retail here pay anything close to what you would need to make ends meet.
I have considered changing professions in the past, but i don’t think I could do a switch at this moment.
I don’t think i could easily find a job in a different field and I’m a bit worried that I would get lost and lose energy, even in seemingly simple jobs.
I understand that.
I was just considering that maybe, if you try something different, you might find a surprising amount of satisfaction in it; and be grateful for some change?
There is truth in that.
I actually like the things I do for work though. Or at least I like doing those things by myself for fun.
After having worked in the field for a few years, I noticed my enjoyment seems to have disappeared. Perhaps it’s the hours, or perhaps it’s the way that business can make anything boring. But I just didn’t like doing these things anymore.
And if I don’t like the things I really enjoyed in the past, then it feels like I will surely not like those things i disliked in the past.
I will still try though. But not easy to experiment with new things when you feel like you’re in survival mode all the time.
I’d recommend reading this article about authenticity: https://www.meticulon.com/neurodiversity-celebration-week-2024/ It explains a lot about how little things that NTs take for granted can be exhausting for ND people, particularly at work.
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