I am cursed with people asking my advice, my advice being correct, them failing to heed my advice to their detriment. Time after time. People value my judgment, because it is pretty good, then proceed to do the opposite of it.
That probably sounds self absorbed, but it’s not like I’m an oracle or anything. It’s just usually fairly obvious stuff, but people are often irrational and do wacky things.
Oh boy, are you me? I’ve spent most of my life feeling like Cassandra. I’m not even particularly smart, but it’s like a lot of people just can’t see the incredibly obvious and inevitable outcomes of their actions?
I had a coworker like this. Always asking me for advice, then going out and doing the opposite. At every turn, she asked me what she should do, and at every turn, she did something else.
She ended up cheating on her husband by going after an ex who had just got out of prison. It was at that point where I (metaphorically) threw my hands in the air and was done. I’m not going to keep wasting my energy trying to help someone who insists on ignoring me and making stupid decisions all the time. She clearly had her mind already made up, there’s no need to drag me into it.
You’re absolutely right. I didn’t have that kind of insight at 19, but I’ve learned to recognize people like that in the years since. Which is great, because I definitely don’t have the patience for that nonsense anymore.
I feel your frustration. I felt the same way about parenting. The number of “you’ll understand when you’re a parent” responses I got was depressing. Guess what, now I have a child to apply it on, my advice works awesomely 90% of the time.
I am cursed with people asking my advice, my advice being correct, them failing to heed my advice to their detriment. Time after time. People value my judgment, because it is pretty good, then proceed to do the opposite of it.
That probably sounds self absorbed, but it’s not like I’m an oracle or anything. It’s just usually fairly obvious stuff, but people are often irrational and do wacky things.
Yep, it’s our curse, like Cassandra.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra
Oh boy, are you me? I’ve spent most of my life feeling like Cassandra. I’m not even particularly smart, but it’s like a lot of people just can’t see the incredibly obvious and inevitable outcomes of their actions?
I had a coworker like this. Always asking me for advice, then going out and doing the opposite. At every turn, she asked me what she should do, and at every turn, she did something else.
She ended up cheating on her husband by going after an ex who had just got out of prison. It was at that point where I (metaphorically) threw my hands in the air and was done. I’m not going to keep wasting my energy trying to help someone who insists on ignoring me and making stupid decisions all the time. She clearly had her mind already made up, there’s no need to drag me into it.
People like that aren’t asking for advice, they have already decided and want validation/permission for the choice they already made.
You’re absolutely right. I didn’t have that kind of insight at 19, but I’ve learned to recognize people like that in the years since. Which is great, because I definitely don’t have the patience for that nonsense anymore.
I feel your frustration. I felt the same way about parenting. The number of “you’ll understand when you’re a parent” responses I got was depressing. Guess what, now I have a child to apply it on, my advice works awesomely 90% of the time.