Nope, literally the opposite. Need to deal with things right away or they make me anxious

It varies

Yeah this is similar to how I tend to feel to be honest too

I feel like the older I’ve got the more asexual I feel and also the more I’ve realised that immersing myself in my interests is the thing that makes me happy. So I see other people as a bonus but don’t actively seek them out. This reduces a lot of stress for me, and it means when people do want to hang out they must really want to. Also I don’t think I have more than 1 friend irl any more. Online is a better space for me to find people with matching interests.

I mean for me nihilism is a perspective that I have in general, i.e. there is no purpose to anything really in the grand scheme of things. But when that also means that you can’t find personal joy in anything, I think that becomes a depression thing. I have also been in that position and after a lot of therapy I realised it was because I was so burnt out on doing what people wanted me to because I was ‘supposed’ to rather than actually asking myself what gave me enjoyment if you took everything else out of the equation. It took me a while to realise what I actually personally cared about because I’ve spent so much of my life masking basically.

Not sure if common but yeah I’ve been that way too since I was young. The only purpose is if you have an intrinsic goal that makes you happy to pursue and that’s about it. I think this could be where the special interest thing comes from.

I’m sorry, I will tell the university I work for to stop employing me as a research scientist.

I kind of enjoy parts of it but I fully agree with your point about having a little bit of a description or labelling rather than images that you have to stare at for ages to make sure you are putting the right thing in the right place. I’ve complained about this exact same thing to others.

Personally I’ve found that the metal stuff works a lot better than the wooden stuff from IKEA. The holes and screws are all machined and precise so there is less room for error. The wooden stuff sometimes doesn’t line up or you split the wood or something else goes wrong a lot of the time.

Kind of but technological progress also contributes to that somewhat

This is something I realised a lot talking to my therapist over the years, that one of the reasons I was constantly burning out was because I was usually 100% task focused and people would be amazed at how much I got done all the time. But most people kind of just naturally tread water or like basically just do enough to make it seem like they are not doing nothing. On that baseline, I also came to the same realisation as you. The whole of the working world is based on just about passing as not incompetent and then people do what they like the rest of the time, but nobody explicitly tells anyone this because then the illusion would be broken I guess. Everything is performative, the stupid evaluations or target setting they have you do is just stuff you know you can do anyway normally but you slack enough to make it seem like it’s something you ‘worked hard for’.

The plus side is when you realise this, it means you can gradually start to give yourself a break. Obviously it varies based on the nature of your job, but I’m talking about stuff that isn’t super high stakes.

Yeah I think I relate more to your perspective and I think I may even have read this in a psych book somewhere (though I forget to be honest) that it’s generally not a good idea to announce plans to do something because it feels like by announcing it you have already gone part way to accomplishing that thing and it can make progress harder.

Yeah, it’s amazing how even bodily functions get pushed aside when engaging in special interests but other tasks seem insurmountable

As someone who never had any friends in school, my personal recommendation is make friends based on your interests (whether in person or online) and then keep to yourself the rest of the time. Expending effort to try to fit in both drains you and is immediately noticeable to others so it has little merit.

Blanket

I got prescribed medical cannabis and it definitely helps with the anxiety/stress part of the stomach issues

Like others, medical stuff has revealed everything ‘looks fine’ for me but I’ve basically gone down the road of eliminating everything from the diet and bringing in safe foods one at a time to see how you react. I realised for me certain things are a no no, cut out most dairy, onions etc. Then just make a routine diet out of the stuff you know works, making sure you’re getting enough protein, fat, carb, fibre etc.

Amazing narrative that I’d fully recommend people play completely blind if possible

Thanks for this reminder at the end. I sound similar, ‘normal unless everything collapses’ and I have got a lot better these past few years from just backing out of things more often

Thanks for sharing. I’m not in this position myself right now but I do have similar kinds of fears for when I get older.

Maybe I need to try that, I zone out pretty quickly