I am 24/7 alone, in a room.

I usually have bad dreams, or nightmares, sometimes I don’t know if I had a bad dream or a nightmare.

I see humans in my dream it is usually bad dreams… always is bad dreams. And ai like it because I miss socializing with humans. I talk with people online and recently I got banned from reddit, I don’t know why qnd I apoealed many times.

it is the only social media platform I use to interact with people.

I am not okay, I might have MCI, that’s the best answer I got from a neurologist, but I don’t know, I wish if I could see another one. MCI is judt a general term that you have decline in cognition and memory. The doctor said it is just aging autism brain.

I am hated by everyone, and I get it.

I am very old (I ha e a rule not to share my age, to remain private) but I am unable to take care of myself, and I know one day I have to end my life.

To preserve dignity, it will look like an accident, but I am afraid of that day, I don’t think I could do it.

Recently I thought I can’t live this life, but as soon as I thought of death my stomach burned and I was terrified like when you see a wild animal

That fear was upsetting because I am scared of the process of death.

I started something new. I take sleeping pills this way the day passes by faster

Shdowbanning should be illegal.

  • discocactus@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    There’s plenty of other good forums online. This one is pretty good, maybe better than reddit if a little less busy. Sounds like you’re having a rough time. But there’s always new things to experience and it sounds like deep down you want to continue the weird experience that is life on this planet. Keep exploring!

    • A5623@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      Would you mind sharing those other forums?

      Also, it’s not deep down, I do wanna live, but I must end it at some point. I can’t share the reason publicly.