I am 24/7 alone, in a room.
I usually have bad dreams, or nightmares, sometimes I don’t know if I had a bad dream or a nightmare.
I see humans in my dream it is usually bad dreams… always is bad dreams. And ai like it because I miss socializing with humans. I talk with people online and recently I got banned from reddit, I don’t know why qnd I apoealed many times.
it is the only social media platform I use to interact with people.
I am not okay, I might have MCI, that’s the best answer I got from a neurologist, but I don’t know, I wish if I could see another one. MCI is judt a general term that you have decline in cognition and memory. The doctor said it is just aging autism brain.
I am hated by everyone, and I get it.
I am very old (I ha e a rule not to share my age, to remain private) but I am unable to take care of myself, and I know one day I have to end my life.
To preserve dignity, it will look like an accident, but I am afraid of that day, I don’t think I could do it.
Recently I thought I can’t live this life, but as soon as I thought of death my stomach burned and I was terrified like when you see a wild animal
That fear was upsetting because I am scared of the process of death.
I started something new. I take sleeping pills this way the day passes by faster
Shdowbanning should be illegal.
I’ve heard of support groups for MCI, that could be a start for talking to people ?
I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you find moments of happiness at least.
Thanks for sharing. I’m not in this position myself right now but I do have similar kinds of fears for when I get older.
There’s plenty of other good forums online. This one is pretty good, maybe better than reddit if a little less busy. Sounds like you’re having a rough time. But there’s always new things to experience and it sounds like deep down you want to continue the weird experience that is life on this planet. Keep exploring!
Would you mind sharing those other forums?
Also, it’s not deep down, I do wanna live, but I must end it at some point. I can’t share the reason publicly.


