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For anyone reading this.
From personal experience, have a shower daily, go for a walk, even if it’s only to the end of your garden or street and drink plenty of water. Sleep if you need to.
This won’t fix things, but it will give you an opportunity to give yourself a break.
In my experience, beating yourself up about everything you suck at is the single biggest thing that made it worse for me.
Finally, talk to someone, anyone. In the street, at the bus, at work, friends, family, online, anyone.
This too will pass.
Yes.
That’s the list of things I know I should be doing but can’t.I have been there.
It’s not a fun place.
In my experience the thing that gets everything else going is going for a walk. Start small. Walk to your front door and open it. Next time do it again. Perhaps take a step outside. Do it again. Then two steps, closing the door behind you - bring your keys!
The idea is to do something slightly bigger than before, but not so much that you are exhausted or afraid to try again.
The only one who is going to change anything is you, harness your energy and have a crack. Nobody is watching so no need to be ashamed.
Have at it.
I get that you’re trying to be uplifting and motivating and whatnot but executive distinction making it quite literally impossible to motivate myself to get up and take those first few steps is the problem here.
for me, the most important part is not shaming myself. if I could be doing any better I would
That’s a good mentality. I will start using that, thanks!
Then don’t do all of it. I like to break my to-do list down to the smallest, actionable step? Usually it’s just a shower, but it helps me hate myself less.
Thank you, I needed this.
I wished i had a garden
There is a book called “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. He invented most of the techniques companies like Meta use to manipulate you and me.
In the book, he explains how to use the same techniques to control your own behavior.
I personally am in much better physical and mental state since I read it.
You cannot beat yourself up until you improve. It does not work. It is a myth.
Here is a large language model generated summary:
“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by BJ Fogg explores how small behavioral changes can lead to significant transformations in one’s life. Fogg, a behavior scientist, introduces a method for creating lasting habits by making them tiny and easy to accomplish.
Key Points:
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Behavior Model:
- B = MAP: Behavior (B) happens when Motivation (M), Ability (A), and a Prompt (P) converge at the same moment. To change behavior, adjust these three elements.
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Tiny Habit Recipe:
- Identify a tiny behavior you want to incorporate into your routine.
- Attach this new behavior to an existing routine (Anchor).
- Celebrate immediately after doing the behavior to create positive reinforcement.
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Focus on Small Changes:
- Instead of making drastic changes, Fogg advocates for starting with tiny, manageable actions. Over time, these small actions accumulate and lead to significant changes.
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Celebration:
- A crucial part of the Tiny Habits method is celebrating your success, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement encourages repetition and helps solidify the new habit.
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Ability and Simplicity:
- Simplifying the desired behavior increases the likelihood of success. If something feels too difficult, break it down into even smaller steps.
-
Motivation:
- While motivation can fluctuate, designing tiny habits that fit easily into your routine helps ensure consistency, regardless of your motivation levels.
-
Behavior Design:
- Fogg provides a systematic approach to designing behaviors that stick, emphasizing experimentation and iteration to find what works best for the individual.
By focusing on tiny, achievable changes and celebrating small wins, Fogg’s method aims to make habit formation easier and more sustainable.
-
I can’t focus enough to read a book and of I try hard enough I fall asleep after page two. Guess it’s not for me.
My eyes read while my brain thinks of other things.
Oh does it ever.
I did the Audible
Thanks I will try it when I can afford it. I just put it on my wishlist.
If you live in the states, Libby is a lifesaver. It’s an online audiobook thing for libraries. You can use your library card to check out audiobooks through the app. And if you’re unable to use Libby for some reason, I’ve heard mobilism has a lot of audiobooks for free
Yes. I tell anyone I can at work about the public library and how you can use Libby or Hoopla to get free books. Some audio books for those not wanting to read. It is a great asset.
Not in the States but thanks for sharing anyway, it may help others.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uTawbZA7odY
Yarrr, I mean really not, but it’s freeWhoops that’s just an interview with the author, though may be useful to some, I shall keep looking.
Audiobooks.com has a 30 day free trial, and this is one of the books they have, but still not good enough…
Bookey.com also has a free trial and this audiobook. I’m failing here as a pirate. Unfortunately, I haven’t pirated any audiobooks so I don’t know where to look
Great! You just found your way to fall asleep instantly! Use it to get some more sleep in general :p
Try speed reading. Like faster than is comfortable. I was the same way til I realized my casual reading pace is too slow to keep me interested. I still struggle to get interested but once I am, zooooom
I have been reading out loud to myself for a few years.
It is slower, but it really adds to your active vocabulary. And actually my reading articulation out loud has increased manifold. And it keeps my interest.
Is the book and its methods intended for neurodivergent people? If not, it is important to be aware that it may have limited use to people with ADHD as our dopamine signaling in the executive function parts of our prefrontal cortex is all kinds of fucked.
That said, I’m ecstatic to read that you found it helpful and really appreciate your correct characterization of one of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that we often try to use.
I think when it comes to exploitation by corporate interest, having ADHD makes you 10x more vulnerable.
I’ve heard of atomic habits before. Is this different?
I hope so. I read atomic habits and it fed into my delusions of grandeur but nothing stuck. I don’t think it was written for us
Had about a month of this but this week the switch has flipped and I’m trying to complete a months worth of stuff in a day.
This will of course end in tears and frustration and the cycle will begin again.
Does that only happens to people with ADHD? Because the post is literally me and I’ve never asked to a doctor about this.
A lot of symptoms of ADHD happen to the general population as well, but in people with ADHD they may happen at such frequency and/or intensity that they become debilitating in the current system.
For the last 2 months I started to consider about going to a doctor because I cannot know if my inability to keep doing tasks or focus on them is because of the enviroment at my home is being harmful to my mind health or if I could have ADHD or similar. Maybe it’s the moment to do it, but it doesn’t feel confortable for me to ask a doctor.
You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.
Don’t worry, you’ll knock it all out in a single day literally hours before they arrive.
Me all the time, but after getting medicated it’s a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done… Slowly… But any progress is better than no progress at all so I’ll take it as a massive win.
absolutely me this week … month
