Something I discovered when I started putting actual effort into masking was that the universal social cues, that were well understood by basically everyone else, were in fact neither universal nor well understood by everyone else.
Maybe? Don’t really know anything besides reading the book. Nonetheless, one of the main attributes of a grifter is the ability to read people, and his advice works, so.
Happy to, but i would need ti listen to it again first to remember the details. There are some books and other texts listed there as references if you’re interested in following those.
None of the resources seem particularly connected to calling him a grifter, though. The last article is the only one that has anything like a negative title, and the contents themselves are quite neutral.
I listened to it again last night, and I mostly agree. He did a few shady things, like lying to newspapers, making up fake stories about fake people that his seminars helped, and then using the newspaper articles to drum up more business. And a lot of techniques (like selling self help books or seminars) were later exploited by grifters.
But it seems like his book and seminars genuinely did help people, with mostly good advice.
There was also the criticism that his advice, if followed to the T, would have you avoid all conflict in order to get along with people, when the real world isn’t like this. Also, some of his advice for women is dated by the time period in which it appeared.
But on the whole, a lot of his book is good advice, like listen to people, try to be genuinely interested in what they say, try to find things you genuinely appreciate about them and avoid empty compliments, and even had the neurotypical compliment that the advice was “obvious” but a good reminder neverless.
One last funny fact about him was that his name was originally spelled differently, but he had it legally changed to match the spelling of Andrew Carnegie’s name, so he could lean into people assuming that they were related.
Something I discovered when I started putting actual effort into masking was that the universal social cues, that were well understood by basically everyone else, were in fact neither universal nor well understood by everyone else.
A list of social cues would be helpful. You should write a book.
Dale Carnegie beat me to it
The famous grifter? I just heard a podcast about him! https://www.iheart.com/podcast/867-if-books-could-kill-104279346/episode/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-298115714
Maybe? Don’t really know anything besides reading the book. Nonetheless, one of the main attributes of a grifter is the ability to read people, and his advice works, so.
Don’t really do podcasts (or anything but text), but that sounds interesting. Would you be so kind as to summarise?
Happy to, but i would need ti listen to it again first to remember the details. There are some books and other texts listed there as references if you’re interested in following those.
None of the resources seem particularly connected to calling him a grifter, though. The last article is the only one that has anything like a negative title, and the contents themselves are quite neutral.
I listened to it again last night, and I mostly agree. He did a few shady things, like lying to newspapers, making up fake stories about fake people that his seminars helped, and then using the newspaper articles to drum up more business. And a lot of techniques (like selling self help books or seminars) were later exploited by grifters.
But it seems like his book and seminars genuinely did help people, with mostly good advice.
There was also the criticism that his advice, if followed to the T, would have you avoid all conflict in order to get along with people, when the real world isn’t like this. Also, some of his advice for women is dated by the time period in which it appeared.
But on the whole, a lot of his book is good advice, like listen to people, try to be genuinely interested in what they say, try to find things you genuinely appreciate about them and avoid empty compliments, and even had the neurotypical compliment that the advice was “obvious” but a good reminder neverless.
One last funny fact about him was that his name was originally spelled differently, but he had it legally changed to match the spelling of Andrew Carnegie’s name, so he could lean into people assuming that they were related.
Hah! Yes, I’m one of those who assumed they were related in some way. Lol