I have been struggling with this because a lot of people around me use it in this manner when they do something dumb or they act in an awkward way and they’ll be like “oh, that was autistic of me” or “I’ve got the tism” and I always feel so uncomfortable but I also don’t know how to raise it or what to say. I am myself not diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I am on the spectrum. I was just wondering what you think of it and how you handle it.
I wonder what passes by on these people’s minds. I often see my classmates call each other autistic and it is NOT funny.
Yeah, not great. I think if you understand the difference between what is a disparaging kind of ‘joke’ and something thats actually humorous, then you can just judge this.
“Fucking cringe.” And just walk away. Don’t accept any ‘explanation’ of why it’s funny. Let them become upset by your reaction, if necessary. “Nah, we’re not going to be making fun of disabled people. You’re on your own.”
I’m annoyed by it. Not necessarily because I think it’s offensive, but because I think it normalizes not taking the neurological condition seriously.
It’s the kind of thing that dead ends people’s thoughts on the subject.
It’s one thing when someone with Autism says they “have the 'tism”. Its something else entirely when someone who doesn’t have autism says it or jokes about it that way. I feel the same way about how people will say “everyone is a little OCD”. No. That is not true. Not everyone has a compulsion they can’t control that forces them to wash their hands until they bleed. Nobody cares if you like your desk tidy, Deborah.
I try to remind myself that people don’t know but it’s hard to call it out all the time. I’m not always in the head space to deal with people or their propensity to get defensive and mean.
It does not bother me but I also don’t really like or use the label. Maybe because of this phenomenon or because of the general lack of education I find that when I tell someone I’m autistic I get very poor support versus just explaining what I struggle with (eye contact, physical touch, taking things literally). I work in a field where being disagreeable and taking things literally are helpfull so that probably also helps.
If its at work in front of people, I make them repeat it by saying, “sorry what was that?” Often that makes people uncomfortable enough to not do it again, at least in front of people.
Can I be your bodyguard? You can be my long lost pal.
We told people not to use “retarded” and “schizo” as insults, so now they use “autistic” and “narcissistic”. They didn’t become better people, they just got pressured into changing their behaviour.
Maybe one day we’ll pressure them out of all the slurs.
How is narcissist a slur?
It comes from a mental disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of people don’t know that. Some people think it comes directly from the Greek child who was killed by the gods for not wanting to get married, but that’s a false etymology. It passed through psychiatry in between those points, and you can tell from the way it’s spelled.
No, it comes from Narcisuss. The word predates NPD by almost a hundred years.
But even if it did come from NPD, it still an objectively negative trait worthy of admonishment. It’s not a slur to describe someone’s persistent selfishness as narcissistic. It’s the definition of the word.
[Edit] it’s as much as a slur as using “psychopath” to describe someone who kills squirrels for fun
Well, I just call that concentration camp fetish. And most people see minorities exactly that way.
I have a close friend with schizophrenia, and jokes about “hearing voices” and similar are pretty common among young people in Germany.
I believe that such jokes only harm the understanding of what is actually being joked about, have no value, and may hurt those who are affected by these things.
Moron, Retard, Imbecile, Idiot, Gimp. These were all and are medical terms. Unfortunately it seems to be human nature to use terms of disability for slurs. Is it right for people to do this? No. But it’s a good judge of character if someone uses these terms as slurs or not.
Dumb used to mean someone who is both deaf and mute.
I think it was just mute, as someone who was both was considered deaf and dumb.
I think it’s one of those cases where the actual definition and the cultural definition deviate, and I accept that people are kinda just being a bit funny.
If people are using it to be degrading or berating, I will call it out (or just not interact with those people anymore) but I usually think it’s meant to be a bit self-critical, funny and endearing. I don’t really mind in that case, because it’s not said in offense, and I appreciate people making fun of themselves every once in a while.
I’ve only had something like that happen once, and I suggested that I had some good resources from my wife and kid, and I could hook him up. He kind of awkwardly laughed it off and said he was good.
I still don’t know if he was trying to be use it as a punchline, or trying to share his condition. I certainly don’t want to push people away from sharing their struggles if they are using humor to deal with a hard topic. But yeah, using it as a punch line is pretty insensitive. I’ve said I was being OCD as a joke about being particular about a project, and I totally could have hurt someone’s feelings who actually struggles with a real condition, and that kind of sucks.
Yeah I used to say stuff like that too when I was young and didn’t know any better but I avoid jokes that refer to conditions in that sort of way now
It doesn’t bother me, but I am very rarely offended by words and don’t participate in all of the drama over proper terminology.
I am always uncomfortable and take responsibility for that discomfort… in my opinion focusing on self-control is usually preferable to trying to control anyone else.
(I have a different diagnosis, but the treatment for me is the same regardless)
It simply shows how stupid the people are that use those words this way.
My brother used to use it frequently, and after I was finally diagnosed I asked him to stop.
