So, I’m a job-having asperger-type autistic man. L1ASD, I guess is the way to refer to it currently.
Shout out to all the non-job havers and everything in between, I get that I’m fortunate enough to have been able to manage to navigate through life and somehow sustain a career (in tech ofc).
OK - here’s my thing. My boss was fired last week due to corpo doing what corpo does, not because he did anything wrong, and he was a good dude that was supportive and wasn’t bothered by the fact that I am autistic and that I have certain communication-related differences than the rest of the team. He was kind of stablizing presence too for others on my team that are less understanding.
I have to tolerate teammates that lowkey openly mock me for my communiction challenges. Some of them know I’m autistic and are just ableist dicks that are mad they can’t throw around the r-word like they used to, others in the extended team don’t know but follow the lead of someonw who does. Whatever, not the point its just life.
Now I will have a new boss in about a week, I expect I will disclose to them to at least make an attempt for them to try to not judge my autistic persona in the arenas where it is most debilitated. You know I want them to suspend that surface-level jusdment and hold off for a character judgement instead, where I’m pretty solid and would prefer to have my value judged. Of course this isn’t how people work and sadly we see today the cultural tides pushing back against diversity, and that includes the neuro kind.
I know I can’t control this but I hate having to figure out somoene new, especially a boss. I know that things change, and like many of you I like consistency. I at least like to be in the driver’s seat when change is required.
I am just feeling so drained. Thanks for reading.
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Yeah this sort of bullying never gets acknowledged by most adults. Its worse than just ghosting me because it fucks with my gaslighting senses. Sucks you got a bad workplace.
It sucks your teammates sound like vile human beings. Hopefully your new manager sees you for you. My team just had a very toxic and passive aggressive manager get fired. Apparently mgmt saw what he was doing to us. And yet, I was more afraid of who they’d hire next. The devil you know and all that. Jury is still out on new guy, but so far he is meshing well. I hope you find yourself in a similar and better situation.
Yeah they aren’t the greatest guys to work with. I don’t worry about it overly, they can’t get very nasty or it will be trouble for them.
But thanks for the well wishes. Hopefully it works out
Have you called them out as being ableist? People cannot stand to be accurately labeled if it’s negative and when they do shut liked hat just commenting that it’s ableist might shame them enough to get them to stfu
Sure, yeah i get you. No in this particular instance the direct call out wont be effective.
Passive aggressive manipulator is the lead antagonist. I don’t really care to put my own energy into it, or take the bait to get screwed around with.
I do call them out for bullying others, when it happens, and it usually stops in those cases.
Thanks for your thoughts
You know I want them to suspend that surface-level jusdment and hold off for a character judgement instead, where I’m pretty solid and would prefer to have my value judged.
Just for saying a thing like that, I think I already arrived at a character judgment. Which is: “that’s a cool dude. A talk with him would probably not be boring.” 😉
Oh I am cool. It’s not my problem that most people can’t figure that out ;)
(I mean, that IS the problem, isn’t it lol)
To be fair…most people rarely figure anything out and are generally observationally challenged. So it’s probably not even meant personally 😁
I totally get what you’re saying. Having a good boss is like winning the lottery. And mgmt changes most of the time they suck.
I really wish you to get a good manager, and actually better colleagues as well.
I’ve been very grateful for my manager, I loved working with her for so many years. Now she’s been promoted and her position is to be replaced. The sad thing is that in the span of one year my team’s management has changed 3 times already. And not for the better. On paper it feels like it should be better but in reality every week is worse than the previous.
Fortunately I at least don’t experience any mobbing from my colleagues, but I see that everything’s getting worse and I get anxious and stressed out. I just want to do my job as I used to. I liked my job because it was as it was. Now it’s not and I hate it.
I’m even considering changing company or even career, but it’s not a good moment in my life to do it. So I just kinda wait and hope that things will get better in the end. Sometimes they do.
I don’t know what to tell you, I’m not great at comforting people, that’s why I shared my experience, to let you know that I understand the pain of losing a good manager.
I can offer a virtual friendly autistic hug, if that’s your thing, otherwise feel free to refuse it :) I wish you a great day, and hopefully things will get better soon ❤️
Thanks for relating. It does feel good to be understood. I know you’ll agree. Hug accepted.
I know what you’re going through. I am in a similar position, new boss and everything. This our fifth new boss in 3 years because this place is an absolute train wreck outside of the specific department I work in.
It takes a huge toll. It’s a new person who has their own ways of wanting things to be done, and of course they won’t just say that so you have to dance around and figure out what it is they want and how to get that done without losing focus on your own work. They’ll arbitrarily change things just so they can say they did, even if it doesn’t actually accomplish anything.
The worst part of work is the people. I did find recently that I can just set my status in Teams to “Do Not Disturb” for the entire day and no one seems to want me to stop that so… that’s been nice because I’m simply do not disturb in human form and would much rather be left alone. That’s my tiny bit of solace right now, that at least I can ask for some quiet at work and mostly get it. I hope you can find something that helps you out too.
Thanks. You absolutely know where I’m at and I’m the same way. I love idea of being the human embodiment of Do-not-disturb.
The most cooperative coworker in my team, which i have judged as an undiagnosed autist and made me feel welcome since day one.
Our teams direct superior who has been a massive supporting and stabilising character for me but also in keeping the whole operation functional.
My department superior, who isn’t very involved in day to day operations but respects my need for accommodations and values my work.
Are all going to retire in 5 years time…
If things go bad i cannot look for an other job, i hate to sell myself in those weird performative ways, i rather die of hunger.
