• dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Elect me dictator of the world and I will implement my pickup truck and SUV tiered licensing scheme: Before you are allowed to have an F-150 or Escalade, first you must complete a 4 year probationary period of driving, say, a Suzuki Samurai.

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          No one loves driving a samurai.

          A samurai is a jeep for people who can afford little more than a lawn mower.

          It rides like you’re in a trash can being pulled by an angry mule.

          A Suzuki samurai can get you places, as long as they’re either at least down wind or down hill from where you’re currently at.

          You can take the samurai off road but you’ll find the experience of driving on smooth asphalt dangerous enough.

          • 1847953620@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            wranglers are samurais for people who are mentally stuck in high school who need to be seen as cool, and massively overpay to do so.

            They take an “offroading vehicle”, modify it further, reduce the efficiency and ruin the on-road handling, slap a light bar on top, and then drive it to the mall and back.

            But it’s alright, because the marketing team at Joop™ told them it’s the Real American Young Man©'s utilitarian vehicle, starting at 175% of what a competing vehicle from any other brand would cost, with 30% of their reliability.

            Good thing you brought that Wrangler™ to drive onto the dirt path to your favorite drinking spot in the mountains, not like anything else would’ve gotten you there.

            Or for the 1% that actually crawl rocks, it’s a good thing to constantly prove that with enough torque, and getting out, making sure you won’t hit, and getting back in, the coefficient of friction of a surface still behaves the same way. Kinda crazy how other people just go around and get to the same spot with final drive ratios that keep their vehicles useable elsewhere. What’s the fun if you don’t spend 15 minutes not going around?

            It’s ok though, the guys with green and beige tacomas with all their gear strapped to the cage day in and day out are even more insufferable. That moment as they hop out in their cargo shorts and Tevas on their way to order another IPA hoping a girl will hear their stories about their once-a-year “overlanding” trips is so worth it. They’re higher-end, more refined, because they drive Tacomas™. But the way they wear their wayfarers inside and the Patagonia t-shirts tell them “it’s ok baby, I’m also chill”

            • teamevil@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Yo, my stock 03 TJ X is a beast…and can do lots of fun shit…but my 20 Tacoma can do all the same shit…but I care a lot less if I ding the wrangler…it pains me to see the auto abortion that jeep has become

      • Demuniac@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Just ban them outright. What’s the point? You want to move things around, get a bus

    • yyyesss?@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This isn’t lack of ability, it’s on purpose. I have had this type explain how clever they are for parking like this to keep other drivers from dinging their truck