Do you use a McDonald’s spoon?

It’s funny that three to seven on the list don’t add up to number two, China.

I turned up my music and ignored him because historically nothing good happens when someone gets out of their car in traffic and you bet your sweet ass I made sure our bumpers were almost touching next red light.

Oh my birthday isn’t for a couple more years.

What is a cake day?

I want to see it broken down into the fatal and non-fatal portions and also the mental health of the cars at the time of the crash.

On the other hand I had a guy get out of his Jaguar the other day and yell at me a while because I stopped too close to his bumper.

Get a bigger dildo you pussy.

Ass.

Can I send you a picture of my asshole and would you be able to divine the winning lottery numbers for me?

Fat fucking titties.

Tomb raider came out six years after the Jurassic Park movie so Lara Croft knew what she was doing.

I think it’s hilarious that the US navy has the second largest Air Force in the world but people think they’re going to take it on with some handguns and rifles.

You obviously haven’t watched Friends.

It’s almost as bad as walking into your childhood church and seeing the old preachers get erections.

These were from the seventies which means you levelled out with the coke mirror on the TV.

If Biden was Genocide Joe what does that make Trump?

Are bad tourist shirt posts above or below drunk uncle level facebook posts?

Either way this is lowering the shitpost bar past the Kola Superdeep Borehole SG-3.

You have to grow either a vodka bottle or a crack pipe puppet to seduce mine.

That’s what I call a smooth criminal.