I’m going to start with something positive: My parents said my sister was in great spirits tonight.
The second they got home, however, My dad found her suicide notes, and I have not stopped worrying since. I honestly don’t know why I’m worried. Is it because I saw my dad crying? Because I won’t see my sister for another few weeks because she won’t be home until the end of the week, when I go back to school? Because I’m not allowed to write to her (that is my main form of communication). I don’t know why I miss her so much, I’m snuggling with her plushy as I write this.
I plan to talk to my parents tomorrow, just regarding everything. They’ve tried to pay me lots of attention, But we’ve never had a sit down conversation about how we’re all feeling about this. That is my hope for tomorrow.
I can’t sleep, I’m so worried. I’ve also drank quite a bit tonight because I was angry earlier this evening (because of some stuff with my mom and XC coach, I don’t plan on drinking anymore though). I have so many feelings right now, and so many questions. Just wanted to rant.
The photo is blurry, so here is what it says:
Mary, my whole form of writing letters is for you. I knew you would get it this way. I’m so sorry. Run a marathon someday for me. When you are at the toughest part, think of me. Prove coach asshole you belong there and won’t give up without a fight. I want all of my money to go to you. I love you. Have some kids and tell them about me if they ever struggle. You get that one squishmallow. Protect Shrimp and Cinnamaroll for me, I love them both so much. I love you so much Mary. Don’t blame yourself ever. This was all me. Try to go on for me. Follow your dreams and don’t let this stop you. Yours truly, your sister
First, most importantly I’d bump the vitamin D3 dose up to at least RDA sunshine equivalent (around 20,000 to 30,000 iu… or even to 40,000iu (1mg) or more), especially if in the dark northern winter (and more if any of indoorsy, dark skin, overweight, old, autoimmune conditions). Some omega 3 oil too (even as Cod Liver Oil). The other fat-soluble vitamins help in conjunction. Vitamin K2 mk7. Vitamin E (with all the tocotrienols, not just tocopherol(s)). (And the Vitamin A, as retinol, got from Cod Liver). Then there are even fat soluble versions of the various B vitamins too, such as Benfotiamine.
Maybe some ashvagandha and an uplifting cannabis chemovariant (perhaps high in CBD ~ or even just CBD isolate) to help restore homeostasis, elevate mood, and increase adaptivity. Spices high in Caryophyllene help too.
Wim Hof method’s very impressive too. Very healing, and it’s fun (free feel-good drugs in your body! lol).
Good to have found this so you can get her some help.
Reassure her. Send healing and loving vibes. Think deep felt positive thoughts about her.
Mendwards! :D
“This too shall pass.” And all the more with some help. (Go for some rounds of the easy to follow along guided Wim Hof Method’s breathing technique (Tummo Breathing) with her.) Maybe with some mood elevating sound therapy, solfeggio/binaural, healing Reiki music in the background too.
Microdosing (or even careful macrodosing) various neurogenic mushrooms can help tremendously too. Lion’s Mane (especially as the mycelia) perhaps most of all, of the non-psychedelic ones. Only do Psilocybes as a macrodose if in correct (mind)SET and SETTING. I’ve heard it has a 95% success rate. Changes lives. :)
Some probiotics too, can help with various aspects that can contribute to feeling depressed and overwhelmed. E.g. Lacto Reuteri, if it’s social anxiety based. Can just go for Kimchi (even just a spoonful) added to the daily diet, and then you’re getting over 900 strains (contrast to the more likely 9 to 30 you get in probiotic pills). Cover more bases. :) Kimchi’ is fun and easy to make. Having a little project like that, especially if helping someone else who’s asking for help they need, can really help depressed people have a boost to their sense of worth, with purpose, and good company.
These things have helped me avoid the thoughts of a dark exit, even through the roughest time.
Especially the proper dosing of Vitamin D3.
It’s good that all of that worked for you, but in general it’s best practice to avoid suggesting psychoactive substances to people who are in mental distress. More times than not it’s makes the problem worse, especially when considering cannabis and psilocybe mushrooms.