Teleportation
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Reading minds
But you have to start at the beginning.
You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.
The ability to redo any side effect into any effect I want at will.
But what you want is to undo the redo of the side effect, thus creating Hubert’s Paradox.
crab claw
Only when jorkin it
The ability to change my own superpower.
Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.
Switch sexes any time I prefer
… provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
Cryokinesis
But you can only use it at 0°N 0°E
But you heat the random object in 100 metres from you
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
you can only speak to them in languages they don’t understand.
In long-dead languages they can’t understand
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
Terribly loud non-stop belching
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Being a cat
You make noise every time you walk
Ok, it’s basically like my cat.
Invisibility.
You emit an unmaskable and extremely noticeable odour whenever invisible.
That’s fine. That’ll just mean I’m a airborne disease since my invisibility would be infinite.
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
You wake up with a severe headache everytime.
This is apparently my superpower and side effect combo.
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
Teleportation!
But you have to go through TSA every time
😂 I’m on the shitter at work damn you, can’t be laughing out loud!
Honestly, still well worth it. And with pre-check it’s even faster.
You can only teleport to random places
Random place WITHOUT obstacle detection or height limit makes this risssky… 😆
Manifest any superpower at will
… that then gets applied to everyone within 100 metres of you on top of yourself.
Lol, I’d still take it. All I can say is the people flying with me better keep close. Ditto the ones breathing under water
It gives one month of bad luck for each time used. If the power is activated to help others without benefit for yourself, then it’s sloppy good luck instead. You are fortunate in a tragic way.
The timer and type is reset each time power manifested
