I wouldn’t praise you for praising it, I probably would have said nothing and moved on because neither comment would be very good/productive. I also would have said nothing if you had said nothing. But in my time on the internet I have seen protests against “just do it arguments” many times, often with good reason but also at times as a defeatist reason to not try. Without knowing you personally your original comment looks like the latter, and I do have a problem with comments that propagate negative thinking like that.
I will admit that I was semi-purposefully scolding at the end of my comment. One part out of my own frustration with that defeatist mindset beyond your personal comment, but also because because if you or someone reading was in that dark place reading something accusatory and a little inflammatory may incite emotions of anger or frustration, which are emotions that tend to lead to more action than emotions of self-pity.
I read enough of your later comment to determine it was about therapy specifically, which I agree with you on for all the reasons you stated. But I wasn’t discussing therapy, I was discussing emotional regulation, and I think there are enough resources online discussing the self-reflective tools for developing that that therapy is not necessary. I could have said more to that effect in my first response.
My point here is that, while yes it was not very informative or directly actionable, if someone read the comment you originally responded to having never considered how emotions could play into procrastination, it could have prompted research into what that means or looks like. If they read your comment they may have instead dismissed that entire line of thinking, and that would be a shame. So in my mind their comment was at worst not negative, while yours was at best not positive.
I find your idea that a comment ought be positive rather displeasing. I think its a bit of toxic positivity whereby useful criticism is muted for no good reason other than vibes.
The big point though, is that you simplifying my comment down to positive or negative, going so far as to imply that my comments said anything like “give up” is completely out of order.
Someone in a dark place does not want to be belittled by advice that minimizes the actual difficulty of the situation they’re in and the hard work and process they’ll need to go through to get out of it.
This idea that people magically are just happier with light, trite advice is inane to me.
It also seems utterly empathy lacking to dump on self-pity like people aren’t allowed to be sad, like thats a failure of the person.
Quite frankly you come across as someone who pretends to care so they can beat down others with their opinions and feel smarter/better by using weaponized civility. Its all frustrating and it feels like you have tried your best to egg on confrontation here with how wildly you misrepresented what I’ve said.
I wouldn’t praise you for praising it, I probably would have said nothing and moved on because neither comment would be very good/productive. I also would have said nothing if you had said nothing. But in my time on the internet I have seen protests against “just do it arguments” many times, often with good reason but also at times as a defeatist reason to not try. Without knowing you personally your original comment looks like the latter, and I do have a problem with comments that propagate negative thinking like that.
I will admit that I was semi-purposefully scolding at the end of my comment. One part out of my own frustration with that defeatist mindset beyond your personal comment, but also because because if you or someone reading was in that dark place reading something accusatory and a little inflammatory may incite emotions of anger or frustration, which are emotions that tend to lead to more action than emotions of self-pity.
I read enough of your later comment to determine it was about therapy specifically, which I agree with you on for all the reasons you stated. But I wasn’t discussing therapy, I was discussing emotional regulation, and I think there are enough resources online discussing the self-reflective tools for developing that that therapy is not necessary. I could have said more to that effect in my first response.
My point here is that, while yes it was not very informative or directly actionable, if someone read the comment you originally responded to having never considered how emotions could play into procrastination, it could have prompted research into what that means or looks like. If they read your comment they may have instead dismissed that entire line of thinking, and that would be a shame. So in my mind their comment was at worst not negative, while yours was at best not positive.
I find your idea that a comment ought be positive rather displeasing. I think its a bit of toxic positivity whereby useful criticism is muted for no good reason other than vibes.
The big point though, is that you simplifying my comment down to positive or negative, going so far as to imply that my comments said anything like “give up” is completely out of order.
Someone in a dark place does not want to be belittled by advice that minimizes the actual difficulty of the situation they’re in and the hard work and process they’ll need to go through to get out of it.
This idea that people magically are just happier with light, trite advice is inane to me.
It also seems utterly empathy lacking to dump on self-pity like people aren’t allowed to be sad, like thats a failure of the person.
Quite frankly you come across as someone who pretends to care so they can beat down others with their opinions and feel smarter/better by using weaponized civility. Its all frustrating and it feels like you have tried your best to egg on confrontation here with how wildly you misrepresented what I’ve said.