This is really a monumental societal change.
3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.
This is really a monumental societal change.
3rd spaces are nearly completely destroyed, and online seems to be the main option for ppl now.
The reason I’m inclined to turn to online dating is because the real me is someone whose dream life would be spending most of his days sitting around with a good friend playing with cats. It’s not like I have no solo interests at all, they’re just not ones that can invite a connection by doing them in public. Sometimes I read math, I have papers on the arXiv on category theory and categorical homotopy theory, but I’m out of academia right now so that’s not a way to connect with real people.
I absolutely love talking to people and forming connections, but just with one other person at a time, otherwise I get behind the conversation and go into deep introversion. I like getting to listen to someone tell their stories and talk about themselves. One of my favorite activities is reading books out loud with a friend. I don’t know how to go out into the real world and just do that with one other person. Online I can, and have made some wonderful connections. It’s just that dating apps specifically look like a nightmare.
If I were really into hiking or whatever I would be all about living that out. Unfortunately, the person I am is someone who would be doing activities as a means to socialize, rather than the other way around. Doing those things would very much not be the real me. It’s not easy to live a solitary life for an extended period and not dream about more, and those dreams start to feel like an ulterior motive if I’m seeking out new connections.
I don’t think at all about what “top” should mean in a dating pool, it hadn’t even crossed my mind, so I’m not sure why you’re bringing that up. I don’t care about whether I find someone in a top percentile of anything, I just want to find someone who is empathetic and who I connect with.
I brought up the top percentile to further illustrate how broken the mindset and mechanics of online dating are.
I hear you. All the things you said are possible by taking a hike. That’s why I suggested taking it. We all come from nature, and we are all connected to it. It is an easy hobby to have. You pick a beautiful place, and you walk in it. It is important to do it alone or with friends you have no romantic interest in. It has countless mental health and physical fitness benefits, so it serves functional purposes in addition.
I don’t know how to explain this without sounding crazy. The Earth is alive and conscious. The Earth is most definitely a “she” and she is a higher order intelligence than us. She is the first mother on this planet. None of this matters because the logic holds whether or not you believe me.
Nature is capable of replacing the longing for human companionship. It is full and it is complete. It provides the thing that feels like it’s missing in every relationship I’ve had. When you connect with her, you connect with something much larger than any one person can bring.
But what’s more, she is connected to everyone. In other words…Earth is the ultimate matchmaker. It is a strange contradiction. You spend time with nature, and that time becomes a pure pursuit where you eventually do it because you love the Earth. Then, and I absolutely promise this with certainty, the Earth will connect you with people that you’ve been looking for.
Among those connections is a special person you will want to meet.