I know, this is Actually Infuriating, but … Also she didn’t just leave the now-dead kid in the car, she left two in there to die, but one survived. My guess: with brain damage. “Always Beautiful Medical Spa” FFS. Duck lips were totally worth it.
A baby died after his mother left him and his 2-year-old sibling inside a car while she was getting lip filler at a Bakersfield medical spa on a 101-degree day, authorities said.
It is estimated that Hernandez’s children were in the vehicle without air-conditioning for 90 minutes, wrote Det. Kyle McNabb, noting that the internal temperature of a car can rise to a blistering 143 degrees in just one hour of 100-degree weather.
Hernandez told police she found her baby foaming at the mouth and having an apparent seizure after emerging from her procedure at Always Beautiful Medical Spa, according to the police report. She frantically dialed 911, and both her children were transported to a hospital for treatment.
By the time her 1-year-old arrived at Adventist Health hospital, he wasn’t breathing, had no pulse, his lips were blue, and he had an internal body temperature of 107.2 degrees
The left shoe trick - throwing my shoe in the car next to the kid - probably saved my kid’s life more than once.
One kind of parents who have these tragedies are tired ones. Which is most parents with small children.
Edit: not relevant in this case, but I’ll take any chance to advertise the shoe trick.
As a parent myself it always boggles my mind that people can forget that they have kids in the car with them. I’m always in dad mode when I have any kids with me, so I’ve never even come close to forgetting a kid in the car. Forgetting to grab the kid’s backpack for school sure, but forgetting a whole child in the car?
The biggest thing that most of those people have in common is that they think it couldn’t happen to them.
The thing is, I have two kids, and have heard about hot car deaths for years before having kids, so I make sure it doesn’t happen. I never leave the kids alone in the car on a hot day. They come with. Luckily we have cold weather most of the year so they can sit alone for a few minutes in a cold car, but never during the summer. Like, even before hearing about hot car deaths, I knew from a young age that cars get hot, and it’s just common sense not to leave a child in there, because I wouldn’t want to sit in there myself for any amount of time. Doesn’t matter if the AC is on full blast, that thing might cut out or fail for any reason, and then my kids are goners.
Before I had kids I would’ve been right there with you, but I am in a completely different mindspace anytime I’m caring for my kids than when I’m not.
When I’m in “dad mode” there’s a significant portion of my attention that’s constantly running through “Are the kids getting into trouble? When did I last see them? When were they last fed/watered/potty breaks? Are we about to pass something that they’ll see and decide they need to go to and therefore cost more time/money than I’ve budgeted for this trip and should I be taking a different route to avoid it? When did I last observe the kids alive, has it been more than 60 seconds I need to check on them again…” And the only way to break out of dad mode is if somebody else has taken over active care/monitoring of the kids or if the kids are both asleep in their beds. It’s a biological state that I seriously did not know was possible, and I simply can’t turn it off.
So when I say I can’t forget my kids in the car, this is what I mean, I’m so actively aware of my kids location and status at all times that I’m the primary caretaker that they can’t even try to wander off in a park or store without my noticing
Yeah, I’ve got that too. But confidence leads to complacency. I’ve thankfully never had it happen when it mattered, but on a couple of occasions I’ve found myself not being hypervigilant when I normally would be. It’s back on once I notice, but it only takes one slip up.
Most of these cases also involve a change in routine. You go about your normal day, feeling the way you normally do, because your mind has forgotten that something is different. Trusting your instinct to overcome that just isn’t a foolproof plan. I mean there is no foolproof plan, but there’s also no harm in taking a little extra precaution in your routine like putting your shoe or your wallet in the back seat.
I find that after having kids and seeing on the news what can go wrong, there is zero confidence in the kids or their surroundings. That’s why I have confidence in myself that I would never forget them, because I’m always scared. 😆 Never let them out of my sight on a parking lot, e.g. They will just start running and you need to wrangle and holler. Hold their hand over a cross walk, etc etc etc.
I mean I’ve left the house without my glasses and I’m legally blind without them, so I can understand just how absentminded a human can get.
That’s the thing. We non-absent-minded people cannot relate to how absent-minded people can be. We do not understand.
It depends how often you drive without the kids.
If you don’t always drop the kids off yourself, it’s easy to get half way to work on autopilot before realising you meant to drop them off.
Sleep deprivation is a weird thing.
I felt the same, until I had my first lousy sleeper (child who had trouble sleeping due to minor health stuff). After a month of lost sleep, I couldn’t remember my own name sometimes. I read once that sleep deprivation is effectively brain damage, and after that experience, I believe it.
I’ve been fucking tired as all hell, but a) I would not be driving a car with my child in it if I was so tired that I would forget I had a child. The fuck? That’s it. There’s no b). I would also fall asleep before I would forget I had a child. I cannot believe people really need a “trick” to help them remember they have a child. I just cannot relate.
I hope you’re thankful for a lifestyle where you have that option. We should all strive to build a world where everyone does.
I mean, taking the bus should be an option in most cases, or? Maybe I’m inconsiderate right now?
In most US cities, no, it’s not an option. But we should work to make it an option :)
In most cities in the US? That’s crazy to me as a European lol. I guess I was acting privileged then.
Plenty of place don’t have buses in the states
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
This article is worth a read. I think that anyone who says “I could NEVER…” are the exact people that are playing with fire. I don’t have children, but I still get anxiety thinking about what would happen if I did and any number of variables came up at the wrong moment in time.
This is not an attack on you. This article really helped me understand a situation where it isn’t some irresponsible person just leaving their kids alone for hours to get Botox assuming the car will stay on and cool. Humans are humans, and it’s sickening and devastating to think about how a simple mistake, a hiccup in the brain, could lead to the death of your own child.
Great article and one I always share when this argument comes up. It can happen with one simple mistake.
I wish I could read it—it’s paywalled. 😞
I gotcha ^^
https://web.archive.org/web/20150208051442/https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html