I can confirm that normies do not, nay, CANnot understand this. It doesn’t compute for them. Because I have tried explaining, in depth, with metaphors (“you know how feel about cleaning the cat’s litter box? That’s how we feel about virtually every necessary life task!”). Nothing works.
^^^^^^^
i’ve tried explaining to my therapist that having an external source of motivation just makes things intrinsically easier and her only response is basically “well you just need to figure out how to be that external source” and i’m like =| thanks for curing ADHD lady. just gotta THINK about it harder.
I tell the people I work and worked for that I need external motivation and it’s worked out pretty well. Home life, my wife can sometimes be enough to motivate me. Not because she asks, but I want the house to be nice for her. If I lived alone it would be a mess.
It’s not that it’s unpleasant, there just is no reward in the end.
“Normies” get an actual rush of dopamine from finishing a task. The ADD brain doesn’t, it just ticks the task off the list and lists the next 12 tasks to be done. No pleasure received.
I can confirm that normies do not, nay, CANnot understand this. It doesn’t compute for them. Because I have tried explaining, in depth, with metaphors (“you know how feel about cleaning the cat’s litter box? That’s how we feel about virtually every necessary life task!”). Nothing works.
cleaning the litterbox is actually less unpleasant:
doesn’t have to happen at a specific time
if I fuck it up, it doesn’t spill over into other tasks
it’s an act of service towards someone else and thus easier to motivate me than something that’s for myself
This is so spot on. I drag my feet so much doing things I need for myself, but if its for someone else its so much easier.
How much has ADHD to do with the concept of self?
Is it unknown what the self wants or is it conditioned to be suppressed?
It’s that I’m only disappointing myself.
Do you disappoint yourself or just your expectations? What if your self doesn’t want to do what needs to be done?
^^^^^^^ i’ve tried explaining to my therapist that having an external source of motivation just makes things intrinsically easier and her only response is basically “well you just need to figure out how to be that external source” and i’m like =| thanks for curing ADHD lady. just gotta THINK about it harder.
I tell the people I work and worked for that I need external motivation and it’s worked out pretty well. Home life, my wife can sometimes be enough to motivate me. Not because she asks, but I want the house to be nice for her. If I lived alone it would be a mess.
Somebody has never accidentally spilled the entire litter box onto the floor.
sweeping afterwards was always part of the job
Well, this is my mother we’re talking about. I don’t think she really is into doing things for others for altruistic reasons.
It’s not that it’s unpleasant, there just is no reward in the end.
“Normies” get an actual rush of dopamine from finishing a task. The ADD brain doesn’t, it just ticks the task off the list and lists the next 12 tasks to be done. No pleasure received.