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Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish · 4 months ago

What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

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What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish · 4 months ago
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  • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Uncut, center out from the bottom.

    Or

    Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        It’s good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.

    • Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.

  • Brkdncr@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      Came here to post this. He had to have been trolling.

      • pruwyben@discuss.tchncs.de
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        4 months ago

        That was pizza hut’s ad campaign for stuffed crust pizza.

        • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 months ago

          Makes so much more sense now. But still.

      • Brkdncr@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        The dude is weird and out of touch. I believe everything he does and says is performed without any forethought.

  • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

    • Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
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      4 months ago

      What about that but as a sausage?

      • jet@hackertalks.com
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        4 months ago

        Here we go!

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.

      • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Sure, probably. Still qualifies though, right?

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 months ago

          Oh for sure, I just refuse to believe I’m living in a world where people put pizza in a blender for anything other than rage bait or dealing with a wired jaw and a pizza craving, haha.

  • TurtleCalledCalmie@sopuli.xyz
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    4 months ago

    By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

    • Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Blocked and reported for putting that disgusting image in my head! Ok jk but I think you win the thread

  • tymon@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

    • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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      4 months ago

      sucking like a Dyson

      What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?

  • phanto@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    Eat the crust, leave the rest.

  • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 months ago

    Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 months ago

      i gotta try that

  • Paul Drye@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Pizza Slurry Enema

      nice band name

      • Birch@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Or Jackass stunt

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
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    4 months ago

    rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

    OR

    not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

  • juliebean@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you’ve spiral-noshed the whole thing

    • communism@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      OP asked what’s the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That’s the canonical method, authentic from Italy

      • SorteKanin@feddit.dk
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        4 months ago

        No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.

  • Sequentialsilence@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    With a spoon

    Close second would be chopsticks.

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Close second would be chopsticks.

      My brother eats pizza with chopsticks

      (For context: my family was all born in China)

      • PoolloverNathan@programming.dev
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        4 months ago

        How does that even work?

        • HatchetHaro@pawb.social
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          4 months ago

          well, we chinese undergo intense shaolin finger strength training at a young age, and so we all can pick up heavy objects up to 1kg with our chopsticks.

        • superkret@feddit.org
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          4 months ago

          Very well, thanks for asking.

  • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago
    knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years ago

    screenshot of youtube video of a 2008 episode of the daily show, showing donald trump eating a stack of two slices of NY pizza using a knife and fork. jon stewart looks dismayed, and there is a subtitle saying "Mother f... and you stack your slices, Donald?"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Aa6ncIk70

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    4 months ago

    You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

  • brandon@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Blending and drinking through a straw

    • Not Chad McTruth@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      tell me youve never tried pizza soup without telling me youve never tried pizza soup

      • metaStatic@kbin.earth
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        4 months ago

        I’ve never tried pizza soup

        fuck, let me try again …

  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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    4 months ago

    Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

    After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.

    Instant legend.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?

      • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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        4 months ago

        What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

        • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Yes, it answers the question but the phrasing made it sound like you actually want to do it…

          • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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            4 months ago

            I was just following the writing prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll take your comment to mean I done did good :D

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