Masturbation

Stay chill and friendly when doing it all, no matter how hard that is.

No bullshit, you can present almost anything with a smile and a casual shrug and get away with it as long you stay polite in your wording. Very often, throwing in a “you know how it is” and giving it that tone of commiseration keeps things smooth even if you’re essentially telling the person to fuck off.

Since you’re in hospital setting, you can sometimes throw in “that’s out of scope” and at least befuddle whoever it is.

And, smile a lot. But not one of those rictus smiles, or smug ones. Think inwardly of your coming escape and hold tight to the relief, and just radiate that glow. Takes serious prep mentally to stay in he right frame of mind for it, but that jolly bastard will make it so much harder for people to ramp up their aggression.

It always helped me to remember that anyone getting all bothered and upset in that situation has a much sadder life than me. It let me reframe a given interaction to a different dynamic.

By making and then eating a pot of chili about eight hours before launch

There’s a limit to it though.

Biking is great for cities, unless you’d have to cross most of it to reach work, hospitals, or healthy foods and bring them home. I’ve known people that did it, but I don’t think most of the country could qualify as a paradise, even if we tore down and rebuilt cities from the ground up.

Plus, it doesn’t address the needs of those that can’t bike, or maybe even not walk. The elderly, the disabled, the temporarily sick, and even kids considering the way the world has gotten populated ( bigger numbers mean the percentage of predators also returns bigger numbers of those).

And it really only works in some cities, and would require shifting all of the shipping to retail connections. You can’t get supplies from a train to a warehouse on pedal power realistically, nor from warehouse to citizen available stations like stores.

Unless you’re suggesting a total death of modern civilization. Which is cool, but not at all going to happen. Because without the supply infrastructure that gets materials from suppliers to where the goods need to be, they can’t get there. Even if we went back to horses and carriages for that, we’d still need well built roads that connect things. Doing that leaves biking in the same category it does with cars, so the only improvement is in not having to suck exhaust. Which would be great, just not sure it’s a realistic thing

I happened to catch the comment before you deleted it, and I’m sorry that happened to anyone, and I’m sorry it was someone you obviously care about. Not gonna argue the point under discussion because I don’t want to cause any distress beyond what’s inevitable.

You’ve apparently never had to make it to a hospital before someone dies.

Like the inside of a coffin

The audience!

Mainly because Luke would sense Worf’s longing for a true master, and they would fall into the hottest man-on-Klingon bdsm scene ever filmed

Do you fuck wit pangaea?

Who cow?

No, hucow

There was also mimeo, or some similar spelling, from mimeograph

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mimeograph

Looking over that, I’m not certain those would smell the same way otheroptions did, but at my elementary school, that’s what teachers usually called them. If it wasn’t that, it was dittos

To pay!

You haven’t lived until you’ve paid a crack who’re ten dollars to snort mustard off your cock while she calls you Oscar Myer

That who’re was what my keyboard put in while swiping whore, and I’m leaving it because I think it’s funnier when said like who’re

How much whistle would a whistle pig do if a whistle pig could whistle pigs?

A whistle pig would whistle as much pigs as a whistle pig could whistle

Depends on what you mean.

Humans can live without limbs at all. There’s issues that need to be watched because the body can struggle to regulate itself with that much mass and blood vessels gone, but it isn’t a problem by itself… We can live with no eyes, ears, nose, or even lips and teeth. We can lose one kidney, part of a liver, one lung, and segments of our intestines.

But, again, the more you lose, the more support you need, and the shorter your life expectancy.

However, that’s not survivable if you lose it all at once, without very fast help. Just losing part of an arm or leg can kill you without addressing the loss of blood that’s probably happening as well. The survivability of losing two feet of intestines to a bear in the woods vs losing it in a surgery is massively different, to put another slant on it.

Depends on what’s on them.

It turns out that having a little fat/oil on dishes helps get the whole load clean because of some chemical fuckery I don’t understand. Something about the surfactants working better or some such.

So, if it’s a little light grease, or something that will dissolve completely (like a smooth condiment), I don’t bother. But covid chunks, you gotta get off unless you enjoy digging around in a filter that’s clogged and under a puddle of trash filled water

Murder was the case they gave me

Jizzed my pants

The world’s full of assholes, and we all know what assholes are full of

Once upon a time, there was a man who decided he wanted to get away for a bit. So his filled up his truck with gas and filled his motorcycle with gas and put it on the back of truck. So he gets in the truck  and he drives and he drives  and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives  and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives until he runs out of gas.

Then he takes the motorcycle off the motorcycle off the back of the truck and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides until the motorcycle runs out of gas.

So he gets off and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks until he can’t walk anymore. He reaches a hotel and walks in to ask if he can have a room.

“Sure,” says the manager, “but I have to tell you one thing.” So they go into the living room where there’s a table. He takes the candlesticks off the table, the chairs away from the table, the table off the rug, and the rug off the floor. There’s a trapdoor there, which opens to reveal a long flight of steps.

So they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb until they’re down the stairs. They’re now in a long tunnel, so they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk until they reach a wooden door. He picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor.

And then they walk  and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk until they reach a metal door. He picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor. There are two green hills, so they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk over the two green hills. They finally reach a clearing with a table. On the table is a cage, and in the cage is a purple gorilla.

“Whatever you do,” the manager says, “don’t touch the purple gorilla.” And so they turn around and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk over the two green hills. They walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk over the two green hills. Then they reach the metal door.

They’re now in a long tunnel, so they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk until they reach a wooden door. He picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor.

They’re back in another long tunnel, so they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk  and they walk until they reach the stairs. So they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb and they climb until they’re up the stairs.

They exit through the trap door, put the rug over the trap door, the table back in place, then the chairs at the table and the candlesticks back on the table.

So, the man is lying in his room later and thinks, “You know, I wonder why I’m not allowed to touch the purple gorilla.”

So he goes into the living room. He takes the candlesticks off the table, the chairs away from the table, the table off the rug, and the rug off the floor. And he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs down the stairs and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks until he reaches the wooden door. He picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor. And then he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks until he reaches the metal door. He picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor. Then he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks and he walks over the two green hills until he reaches the purple gorilla.

He reaches in and pokes it. The gorilla starts going crazy in the cage. It starts thrashing about before suddenly breaking it open. So the man turns and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs over the two green hills. He reaches the metal door, and he picks the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, goes through the door, closes the door, locks the door, and puts the key back on the floor. He starts walking away, thinking there’s no way the gorilla can get through a metal door, before he hears a ‘BOOM’ behind him.

The gorilla broke down the door! So he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs until he reaches the wooden door. He pick the key up off the floor, unlocks the door, opens the door, and runs through it, figuring that the gorilla would be able to get through a wooden one. He runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs until he gets to the stairs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs and he climbs until he gets back to the living room. He slams the trapdoor shut, puts the rug on the floor, the table on the rug, the chairs up to the table, and the candlesticks on the table. He walks back to his room, hoping the gorilla wouldn’t be able to get through. He goes in, and finds the purple gorilla in his room.

So he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs and he runs until he reaches his motorcycle, which has magically been refilled with gas. He gets on it and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides and he rides until he reaches his truck, which has also been magically refilled with gas.

He gets in the truck and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives and he drives until he runs out of gas. And he runs and runs and runs, with the gorilla still following… After a while, he starts to think, “This gorilla is going to chase me until I die. I might as well stop and let him catch me.” So he slows down and comes to a stop, turning to face it. It still runs towards him, but slows down once it notices the man has stopped. Finally, it walks up to the man, taps his shoulder, and says, “You’re it.”