Im sorry. At my worst I drink a whole handle of vodka in a day. Sometimes I find my receipt and i bought another handle at teh end of the night ready for anotehr handle the next day. :( Its true I always have alcohol in me when i get in trouble. Im so mild mannered but I need the alcohol to feel alive. Its terrible because being alive sometimes ended in teh drunk tank. Karma got to me where even if I stayed home someone makes a call to my front door and drags me out without a word. I feel hopeless because I dont knwo why i cant be left alone and i drink more to prove them wrong. its horrible. im clean now and thinking about it. its going to make me sick. i get bruises where my organs are. my health is the only thing stopping me.