cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2749844
I don’t know if I’m a low key alcoholic or so cheap because in my past I was homeless and dependent on the charity of (sometimes) strangers and feel I only “deserve” alcohol when it’s on sale.
I know binge drinking is stupid, I know if I drink more than a pint of beer without food my stomach feels bad and I feel dizzy, but each time I find beer on sale I buy at least a 6 pack (6 pints). I then promise myself to drink it within several days, not all within 3 days, but something snaps in me each time I open the fridge and see all that beer. I sometimes drink 2 pints a day till I have no more beer.
The only thing stopping me from buying beer every day is the price: if beer is not on sale, I don’t buy it.
Beer is the only alcoholic drink I buy, I cannot tolerate anything else.
There are much healthier alternatives there, like tea, milk or juicy fruits, but my brain still associates beer with a good time, which is very ironic, because now, after drinking almost a pint, I have a headache. It doesn’t even taste as good as I thought it would.
Another thing that stops me from drinking more is reading about other alcoholics, their regrets and health issues, but my brain still “wants” the beer.
To be even more ironic, I usually run 2 miles and do some stretching and yoga before going to work, but yesterday and today I was so tired I skipped this routine and started drinking.
Am I a high functioning alcoholic?
How do I stop being so fixated on alcohol on sale?
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Im sorry. At my worst I drink a whole handle of vodka in a day. Sometimes I find my receipt and i bought another handle at teh end of the night ready for anotehr handle the next day. :( Its true I always have alcohol in me when i get in trouble. Im so mild mannered but I need the alcohol to feel alive. Its terrible because being alive sometimes ended in teh drunk tank. Karma got to me where even if I stayed home someone makes a call to my front door and drags me out without a word. I feel hopeless because I dont knwo why i cant be left alone and i drink more to prove them wrong. its horrible. im clean now and thinking about it. its going to make me sick. i get bruises where my organs are. my health is the only thing stopping me.
To be honest a lot of people can’t quit alcohol. I am not saying every alcoholic can’t. I don’t know the science, but I think it can be quite like opiates in which there is a point where maintenance might be required to either sustain/er…step-down from your addiction. I don’t know much about it. I just know that I had a friend who drank a handle a day, was bi-polar and unmedicated, and attempted to go sober solo and ended up in the hospital because they ended up having a seizure/puking all over the place. A lot folks who work in kitchens are addicts, and when I worked in them folks were fairly often functional alcoholics and we had a couple folks seizing out too from time to time. Shit is scary, but I do know there’s help - so you can like…look for it. Just be careful, this might sound funny but someone I helped personally made a rule to be friendly but not befriend folks at recovery. Another person I knew who went to recovery ended up sort of fueling themselves up with another person’s addiction (as if they were each others hypemen) and ended up addicted to opioids before dropping the program. If you want help, there are ways to find it out here. Just gotta take those little baby steps necessary to fuel whatever habit you’re trying to form. Good luck!
They drag you out because drinking with you makes their drinking seem more acceptable, to themselves.