I have tried like 1.5 I guess lol. The one I was on for several months at a regular dose. The other one I was on for about a month at what the internet told me was a sub therapeutic dose. I thought my provider was going to titrate me up on that second one but was a bit disappointed when she immediately bailed on it for a different medication tho lol.

Granted I was having a hard time so I think she just wanted something to chill me the fuck the fuck out hahaha. I’ve been on a low dose of Seroquel ever since. Technically I’m a lot more stable than before which may or may not have to do with the drug. So I’m keen on keeping it for now. Still have issues now and then but meh.

Man people always make antidepressants sound like magic to me when I hear about stuff like this. When I took an antidepressant, I don’t think changed much about any of the way I thought or felt. Hell I was really wishing for the “emotional blunting” that I hear about to happen to me. It didn’t. My emotions were as extreme as ever and I would have loved for something to “blunt” them even a little lmaoo.

I mean like for example I’ve known I would die since I was young but I didn’t have such a fear an “awareness” of what that meant until much more recently if that makes sense.

It’s weird but I started fearing death this year. I had some sort of significant mental health issues and at some point I was making quite a few suicidal gestures, but I didn’t feel like I was close to any attempts.

In my many attempts to treat my mental health for over a year now, I had a therapist encourage me to try listening to podcasts to cope with something in particular.

So I found one and actually enjoyed it. It was on Taoism. Well…a lot of Taoism deals with death in a way…like understanding that we are born from the earth and that we will return to it. I found out some time into listening that wise and thoughtful host of the podcast had died maybe 5-10 year ago.

Something snapped in me and I started in an outright panic from that point on, fearing death. I couldn’t listen to the podcast anymore. I was going to die. I don’t want to die. I would walk around public places wondering how everyone was just walking around knowing they were going to die. Why aren’t we all trying to solve this as a collective?? Why don’t people care that they are going to die???

And that fear and panic seems to have stayed with me. Thankfully it’s not as all pervasive, but it’s still there.

For some unknown reason, even with that fear, I have since learned to ride a motorcycle. I think about the chance of death sometimes when I ride it. It’s higher now.

And at this time, I don’t feel like I’ve “wasted” my life per se. But I’m finding that I want to do something else with it. But I just don’t know what.

So that’s where I’m at now. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do in life considering the fact that I will die.

I don’t know what to do, quite frankly.

So realizing that I will die absolutely did change my perspective on life. I’m just not sure where to take it.

I don’t think what you talk about is depression per se. It sucks that we are gonna die. And I’m not interested in making a legacy either. I won’t be here to enjoy it.

But I wouldn’t call your life lazy necessarily either. The true Taoist enjoys life for what it is. You don’t need to be the best or the hardest worker to enjoy the world, nor should you necessarily be.

Idk I’m sorry that this is so long and rambling. I guess what I’m trying to say is I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Taoism is an interesting philosophy (iirc it’s also a religion, but I’m more interested in the philosophy) that may help you or it may do nothing. But idk it talks about stuff like that I guess.

I mean…think about that for a minute. If you’re being paid less than minimum wage then how are you supposed to afford to live? Some people live paycheck to paycheck.

Why peanut butter cookies???

My guess is that this is an at least two person household. One drinks Coke Zero and one drinks regular. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone do both. Could also be why there are two toys instead of one.

Everything just feels so bizarre to me. Internet communities and politics devolve into weird rabbit holes of strangeness and extremism which is totally foreign to me. I feel like some people just sit in their rooms posting pictures on their walls connecting it with red strings.

And here I am just to look at memes. Does that mean I’m too much of a “normie” or “boomer” for internet communities nowadays? I don’t even know.

Thanks for the info tho. Sorry about my little rant lol!

Looks like I’m not on the list. Tbh I don’t really understand what is going on here. I’m very out of the loop.

To be real, one of the reasons I’ll never own a gun is that I don’t trust myself when emotionally unstable.

Huh?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genu_valgum

Don’t think this has anything to do with being skinny unless you had malnutrition. Looks like if you have it as a kid, it’s normal enough and you tend to grow out of it. If it’s severe or you don’t grow out of it, it’s due to malnutrition or other disease processes.

So I’d wager most people on Lemmy do not have this. I’m fairly thin and I have never had that.

Cursed comment

It still does in my area. Not every grocery store, but the big grocery chain around here definitely does. Sometimes they even offer to take my groceries to the car for me which has surprised me.

My grandma is cool.

…Cool because she’s 6 feet under and the ground temperature is lower there. 😔

Thank you for a sane take. So many people online seem to not understand the reality of things like drug addiction, alcoholism, homelessness, etc. None of these are quick fixes and all of these spiral into one another.

All I see online anymore seems to be bitter takes. Yours is a refreshing view and I’m finding myself wishing I could find a lot more of it.

Have you never heard of such a concept? Some people do it because they are going camping or in case the water goes out in a storm or rarely if the water from the tap is of dubious quality.

Is the infuriating part supposed to be that someone got to the butter before you? Or is it that you don’t like how it was scooped? What is the “correct” way if this is “incorrect”? Genuinely curious.

Yeah I suspect it is something benign but similar like that. Problem is that I really don’t know that I have a way to know for sure. And anecdotally, my recurrent stomach issues significantly reduced once I stopped drinking my tap water. Mine smells like pond water tho instead of garlic lol.

No, it’s not my water heater. I had it replaced and the new heater smelled the exact same even when brand new before any possible sediment accumulation.

My tap water goes through months of smelling funny at a time where I get nervous that it is unsafe to drink. I thought about buying a filter for the tap like a Brita filter or something…but my (admittedly very minimal) research showed that these only filter out things like mineral contaminants. Bacteria and other pathogens don’t seem to get filtered out by most standard filters that people are using. It’s just that they filter out the hard water.

What do you use?