does cash and card not work?

How do people get paid, @jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works ? How does a card transaction clear? When was the last time you went to a brick and mortar facility to check your balance?

I’m no shrink, but I do see some of the same signs of untreated childhood trauma I have. I spent so long performing for others I forgot who I am. “What do you want?” becomes a torture more than a question. I knock inside to get the answer but the person I really am got used to be a hermit, a shut-in, so there is no answer. Showing my true self, even only to my conscience, is too frightening.

Are you also a perfectionist, in general?

I used to draw halfway decently when I was a kid. I stopped because I wasn’t good enough for my expectations. I’ve recently restarted, but I’ve been managing to do it without expectations, without the need to be perfect. Just for the love of creating. It has been quite therapeutic to accept myself as imperfect, even if only in this narrow context.

They misunderstand other neurotypicals too. There’s just more opportunity to misunderstand neurodivergents.

Then when a ND presents an unregulated emotional response typical for NTs of a much younger age, which, under the assumption they are NT, triggers the response of “bad parents failing to teach their kids”. And if they are informed, without training that doesn’t really do much. Especially in the low empathy world we’re living.

Yes, visibility makes a difference. Some corporations invest in training to avoid discrimination lawsuits against less visible disabilities, but you can see videos online of people being harassed for using disabled facilities because their disability doesn’t match their preconceptions.

Yup, basic IRC (on which I spent many hours in the late 90s) does not persist. Either you’re online to get the message, or you don’t get it.

Not sure, but I’m game. You can never have too many friends and I certainly could use one. I remember us talking about jobs, friendship and diagnosis.

The note feature of Voyager is on the client, so it doesn’t get syncd with other interfaces.

I agree re: Mastodon. It does allow you to follow people, which Lemmy lacks. But I’ve made deeper* connections here then there.

*still quite shallow, but I know a bit of their personal life, while in mastodon, not.

I think getting to know people requires unstructured chat and some sense of privacy (or at least not metaphorically shouting from the rooftops).

Persistent chat media like XMPP and Matrix are a decent middle ground, but I too, generally prefer the organization of topics of forums.

Interesting! Sounds like a good time.

Gotta love them small tits.

Your therapy sessions are very different from mine…

They’re cheap and operate for free. It is quite common in warm climates.

Best of luck!

How do I make friend online?

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Depending on sources, between 13% and 15% of americans say they’re lonely. That’s a whole fuckton of people. Our society is getting sick. People are drifting apart. Building community is harder than it ever was.

Try and find a common interest, some grain to start conversations upon. I like TTRPGs, so I meet people through that. It takes time and most of the time it doesn’t turn into friendship. But I have made a couple friends. Nothing too close. For closeness, I don’t think online will really do.

I introduced a friend I made at work to tabletop games. He eventually moved out of state, and started making friends through a group at Meetup. It’s a website to find people based on common interests. He found a tabletop gaming group that met regularly at a bar to play.

But know that this, making friends, is hard. I met people, but as the years go by, my pool of friends I can really talk about my life and be myself… that keeps only shrinking. Sometimes I get a breakthrough and find someone, only for them to move away (literally, like the friend above). I really wish I had a better answer, and if you do find out, shout it from the rooftops - everybody seems to be needing it.

Is you’re social, why do you say “high-masking”? Sounds like you enjoy socializing. Is it still draining?

I enjoy socializing, but not as neurotypicals do. Smalltalk is a drag. Normal “extrovert talk” bothers me. I like talking like here on Lemmy: with a subject, going deeper. I also quite enjoy making meaningful connections and relationships. But most people get spooked when I try to actually connect. They want the superficial bullshit. So I end up masking in those situations. Sometimes it leads to making headway into meaningful conversations and relationships, so it’s worth it. But it’s still draining, masking always is.

I don’t honestly know what they could offer me in an ideal world that would be helpful.

A proper diagnosis, for starters. Something is affecting your quality of life deeply. They should have been able to identify what that is. And once you are diagnosed, you can start treatment. This will invariably involve talk therapy, but depending on diagnosis, could also include medication, activities (i.e. support groups, animal therapy, etc.). The fact that you’re struggling and still none the wiser on what’s causing it means they failed you.

I’m autistic and I’m very social. So is a cousin of mine. We’re not the norm, but highs functioning / high-masking autists are a good chunk of the autist population. There are many other criteria to diagnose. I hope you find good mental health support, from the sound of things they let you down.

You’d be surprised. But do find the answer to that before sinking money into a trade school. BTW, reading your post it sounds like you’re 30-something. It is harder with another 20 years on, but not impossible. And if it’s going to make you happy and employed, it’s worth it.

Regarding jobs, you could still apprentice at a trade. See if you’re interested in electricity, carpentry, machine maintenance, etc. Tradespeople are some of the most bullshit-adverse bunch around, the work is methodic, procedural, and technical.

Autism has some symptom overlap with other stuff. CPTSD, anxiety, depression, ADHD… If that therapist diagnosing you didn’t do differential diagnostics, they weren’t doing their job right.