I wanted to be a developer, and create the kind of games that I wanted to play. Now, I just want to survive.

I feel that there is some world that others were brought into, that I was left too long to believe that I am a part of it, and I suffered a lot, trying to have the normalcy that others take for granted.

This is not my world, I don’t belong in it. My goal is to become independent enough to not have to worry about other humans exploiting me at all, or die trying.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: December 5th, 2024

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  • More like, you have a few months or days in your entire life that you are actually living, but you are alive for long, long after.

    You can potentially live until the heat death of the universe. Nothing so special about your body, that not so distant future science would not be able to repair, recycle, or modify. It’s usually your DNA getting so damaged, that the proteins you need aren’t produced in as much quantity as needed. Eventually, you lose the careful equilibrium that you had in your youth, grow weaker, and die.

    It’s not such a big secret as it seems, it’s just that there’s a fuckton of the proteosphere, and it’s really fucking hard to untangle all of it, or modify it safely.

    The real issue is the moments that pass us by forever, the loss of meaning, and loss of status that come inevitably, and the loss of innocent wonder as well. Those initial moments DO cement who and what you are forever.

    So the most messed up thing our sick society does, is convince young people that, because their projected lifespan might be something like 80 year old, that they have 80 years to live.

    No, how much you have to live depends on you, what you live for, how you live it, etc.

    Accomplished people essentially live their full lifespans.

    While cubicle zombies are just waiting for the day they die, all meaning deleted from their lives (except their families, if they have any).












  • I have Kubuntu on a VM. I feel like I need to buy another device right now, just to pull it off. It takes me basically all day to do one hour of work, because idk why…I’m totally fucked. So I’m afraid of messing up the transition.

    I’m already used to the sudo, apt, and npm package nonsense that everyone has to deal with.

    I already accepted that it will always be broken, there will always be more workarounds, and one type might fuck up my entire OS (happened already).

    EDIT: I did delete Paypal.


  • I’m very shitty, and I hate myself to the point where I want to obliterate my personality with a specific program that I set up (and have issues setting into motion). But yeah, I do feel far superior to the average person, because I don’t think having a condition, being a different skin color, nation, or orientation should get you put in a fucking labor camp, and I actively care about the fate of humanity. I can’t just be chill with some person dying next to me, it is NOT fine!