I would love to create a community on here for men’s mental health and (actual) issues, but I’m afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.
Isn’t this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into “being a man” on one side, while also being taught to fear “toxic masculinity” if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they’re not part of the solution, so I’m not sure I’m gonna take them seriously.
Guys being gas lit into “Being man” is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.
“I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad…”, what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you’re replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.
I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn’t listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.
I finally started to address my mental health issues and would love a community like that fwiw
It’s is a good idea… but it will get hijacked by right-wing grifters. That’s how the whole “incel” thing got started.
Done, wish me luck.
Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn’t work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
Yeah - I haven’t checked Reddit again but there was
Menslib, which was focused on Men related issues and discussing them from an empathetic standpoint. I’d say it were critical social discussion with a clear emphasis on men.
And there was bropill, which was less about longer discussions and more about sharing in general.
I dunno if they are still active but if you start something I’d love to join that community. So maybe write me a DM if you do? :)
It would require very strict moderation but it’s feasible…
It doesn’t necessarily require strict moderation… but the mods will have to follow the Bartender’s Rule.
This is great! It reminds me of this video which in my opinion everyone should watch who tries to run a community (and everybody else should watch it as well).
The Alt-Right Playbook: How to Radicalize a Normie
Just as a shady bar can be a magnet to not so nice people, a mental health online community for specifically men on a platform like Lemmy (that probably already has a not so diverse user base) is basically a honey pot for people who want to spread certain ideologies.
The video gets reported endlessly on YouTube btw, that’s why it is “age restricted”. :( While it talks about hatred it doesn’t endorse hatred. But for some reason this gets a video age restricted on YouTube while videos which are actively hateful do not get restricted…
The thing is, you’re going to need actual leftists with a lot of experience in right-wing narratives to do that… liberals can’t. They only recognize right-wing narratives when it’s far, far too late - if they recognize them at all. That’s what the Bartender’s Rule demonstrates - you can’t allow right-wing ideologies to hide behind “respectibility politcs.” If you do, the right-wingers have already won.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/P55t6eryY3g
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Yep, exactly what I was thinking about
There was one in reddit that worked well IMO: menslib
There’s a sub-reddit called Daddit. It was a great support group for Dads on reddit, either struggling or wanted to share their love for their kids. It’s very doable, you just need to set an example early on for what it needs to be.
I’d totally be down for that kind of community.
DM me if you set it up too.
Toxic masculinity is just severe insecurity and blatant ignorance with a sprinkle of lack of education. Modern day caveman only good for moving logs and building houses. They now think they deserve a place where something educated needs to be discussed and instead of understanding or trying to understand they just spout their bullshit.
there was r/menslib on reddit. Maybe there will be some movement here
Why not mental health for all?
Everyone deserves mental health. And everyone deserves a safe space to discuss their feelings and emotions with others in a similar situation. And I don’t want a space strictly for men. A LOT of men need to hear women’s perspectives and experiences. And process what was shared and why it is important. I don’t want men to learn how to be better men. I want men to learn how to to be happier, and better people.
There’s a benefit to having communities for all and communities focused on the different groups, may it be specific genders, ethnic groups, generations, socio economic backgrounds and so on… The support people need might be similar in some cases, it can also be very specific to who they are in other situations…
I’m on the fence about that. The internet seems so fractured, hateful, extremist and identity based, that it seems like leaning into an identity group is going to create the problems it looks to solve, in this case toxic masculinity.
Irl is a different story though.
I didn’t mention it in that comment but mentioned it in another, it would need to be tightly moderated to work, so does any similar community though.
Yeah, I suppose if it’s really focused on positivity and support then it couldn’t be bad
I’m on the fence about that. The internet seems so fractured, hateful, extremist and identity based, that it seems like leaning into an identity group is going to create the problems it looks to solve, in this case toxic masculinity.
Irl is a different story though.
Because a lot of women perpetuate societal standards of toxic masculinity and make men feel unwelcome
Isn’t that all the more reason to have an inclusive space to talk about it?
Honestly, I agree, putting a gender slant on it, unless completely necessary, can easily arecomplicate the situation, as its putting these expectations at the front of mind. I often see this leading either into resentful sexism, or original sin type self-loathing for being a man.
I honesty just think tbe topic of gender online is so toxic, that mixing it in with mental health can cause lots of unnecessarily complications, and makes it easy for third parties to take advantage for their own ends.
How can you even dare do suggest such an evil thing? Everybody knows men and women are completely different creatures. There’s no way they would be able to talk about mental health together! /s
/s
Thanks for the suggestion, I thought it was obvious
Yep no problem :)
I think that’s implied. Damn brave for not using the /s
Edit: I just checked the commentor’s history, I believe this is almost certainly sarcasm.
They’ve added it to their comment so this is the good ending I guesss
I just want a hug!
Best I can do is a slap on the back
And a “she’ll be right”
This bad boy can take so many hugs.
virtual hug
It WILL get better! You are doing your best! I proud of you for expressing your feelings!
Someone: “My gender transition is almost complete.”
Society: “No, not like that!”
Swift as the coursing river?
With the force of a great typhoon?
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of…
THE MOOOOOOOOOOON…?
The best version is the Google Translate Sings version.
I became a man are you going to save me?
Too much effort
Use your bootstraps
Good thing I learned how to tie shoes from sesame street.
Now man up, up, up until you are out of the water.
I will tryyyyyyyy to fix you.
What’s in it for me?
What’s a man?
A miserable pile of secrets!
Makes sense
be me
a man
not using that title to abuse minors and women
having a life worth living
observing manosphere
being depressed so many men being sad they aren’t alphamegachads, insisting to become ones
write something supportive
leave them to go their own way
I will say, from my grandfather to my father to me, it feels mental health in men has shifted. my dad told me what his dad did (like “the crust will put hair on your chest”) but it feels society has shifted on the subject and I hope our education system still reflects that!
Yay to less drowning alone! Lol
This is a true story: My doctor told me this while I was lying in a hospital bed, in the ICU, after trying to kill myself by ODing on pills and alcohol, straps around my wrists and ankles. This was at an extremely nice hospital in Silicon Valley, California.
I was loaded on antipsychotics and a little loopy but I remember telling him that it was sexist bullshit and unhelpful, which made the nurse chuckle.
Username checks out.
How so?
I wish I could help you :(
Sincerely, an nb
01001000 01100001 01101000 01100001
Take that! ;)
Also Society: wHy MeN cOmMiT mOrE sUiCiDe
In my opinion “be a man” means not afraid to talk to someone about your problems
Yeah but that’s not how the people this meme criticises use it.
BE A MAN We must be swift as a coursing river BE A MAN With all the force of a great typhoon BE A MAN With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Man up!
Ie. bury whatever emotion you’re feeling and be more aggressive.
Thus comes forth the popularity of Andrew Tate.
Patriarchal society wins again😎
Explain to some idiot that as a socialist you’ve gotten more conservative as you got older that you looking into the finer details of economic planning and reading into Stalin, wokes: “omg YoU hAtE gAyS” I swear a lot of social engineering these days to turn people away from these ideas and towards an emotional irrationalism with a horrible aesthetic to keep people in an echo chamber surrounded by self-reflecting identity politics chained to the predominant ideology serving capital.
