I’m genuinely gonna try to end it if I dont meet anyone to talk to and bond with. I cant with this, I seem to be an exception while everyone else seems to succeed to at least keep a conversation going. also, this conservative family is suffocating me. and environment is I have melatonin, some atarax and maybe some adderall in the house. nothing really lethal per se, but if I combine it with alcohol and something else, it might be deadly. I honestly dont know what to do
Ugh yeah I can relate when it comes to social skills and I’m pretty quiet myself, though in my case I think I’ll just have to keep looking for opportunities I can get more experience and practice in. I’ve been struggling to put myself out as much as I’d like there, and super unpleasant interactions with strangers who’ve clocked me push me further into staying inside more (and I’m living in one of the most accepting cities out there for trans people). 😔
I’d describe my family as mostly being cruelly indifferent to me, though occasionally they can come across as antagonistic too. I personally haven’t dealt much with them pushing gender expectations on me (a good chunk of why though is because I avoid family gatherings and I have only even come out to a select few of them in the 45 months I’ve been on HRT), but that sounds awfully draining to deal with, as I feel coming out is supposed to help break those constraints and alleviate the pain that comes with them in the first place. I hope you can get to a safer place soon. 🫂