• fartographer@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    May she always sneeze just before she reaches the toilet. And may the droplets of pee upset her enough that she stress-farts tiny wet poops that cause her to suddenly clench and lose her balance and stumble just enough to accidentally pee just a little bit more just before she reaches for the lid. May her stiffened posture cause her to strain as she bends to lift the lid, and that she re-stubs her toe on the front of the toilet; just heard enough to make her feel defeated and lose her restraint on the steam that begins before she’s properly sat down so that she sits on her own pee that also drips into her underwear. Finally, may her efforts to clean up wake her up too much so that she only manages to fall back asleep 10 minutes before her alarm goes off.