I’m 35, I do okay. I mumble when I’m shy, and when I’m not into it, i.e. the pleasantries over the counter in a shop. I had the ‘you talk like a robot’ comments all through school. I know I speak a certain way and I’m mostly okay with it.
I bought a coffee this morning before getting the train into work. I did my usual awkward mumbling, I ordered the flat white with all the elocution I could muster so as to avoid repeating myself - I hate repeating myself - but the rest was mumbled and just audible enough for them to know that I asked to pay by card and that I was thanking them as I left.
There were two clerks, a small independent shop. The male clerk, upon me saying thanks and turning to walk to the door, gave an exaggerated mumble, which made the girl working with him laugh. I ignored it and left, but afterwards it really griped on me.
The only way to communicate with the establishment is by instagram, so I set up an account and messaged the business account (they own 3 shops in my local area). The person followed it up; naturally the pair working there said that it never happened. The owner has invited me back tomorrow, when he will be working with the male clerk, to receive an apology. I don’t think I want to go. Should I go? I’m not sure what outcome I wanted, I think I just wanted to speak out about it.
I appreciate that the quiet hours in the shop are boring, and they need to make their own entertainment, but he could have just waited for me to leave the shop before he made his joke - although I do understand that to impress the girl it must done to me brazenly, for the shock factor required to make such a witless joke funny.
I’m not quite sure why this has aggravated me so much today, but it has. I can normally roll my eyes at this kind of stuff or laugh it off, but it really wound me up. Maybe because I am a paying customer and expect that in engaging in this process I am not going to encounter this kind of playground mentality.
One question to ask is are you sure they were making fun of you and there’s no way you misinterpreted it? As for whether to go or not I’d say don’t. It won’t be satisfying to you no matter the outcome. And if you’re wrong on the assessment of the situation you’re putting someone else into a very embarrassing and humiliating situation themselves. Not saying you are but it can be difficult to judge a situation especially given how our neurodivergence works.
I am sure, I manage a youth centre so part of my job is identifying this kind of behaviour and coaching kids through it, if I had doubt I would not have complained. But even so, you are right there will be no satisfaction in going.
That’s fair. I’ve had plenty of instances where that’s happened to me and making the mistake is embarrassing itself. I hope you don’t have my habit of mulling things like this over for days or even weeks.
I do tend to mull, but thankfully the supportive comments coming out of this thread are already helping to put my mind at ease