I’ve always been curious as to what “normal” people think programming is like. The wildest theory I’ve heard is “typing ones and zeroes” (I’m a software engineer)
8 hours of meetings and 10 minutes of writing code.
Nailed it!
It involves a lot of tall girls in thigh high socks, sometimes they wear cat ears too. And they do a lot of typing on extra clackity keyboards.
I need to get back in the industry. Oh, for an extra clack keyboard.
I don’t know if Lemmy is the best place to ask, lol
That sounds ridiculous. It 2024, I’m pretty sure programmers just use voice input and say the ones and zeros instead of sitting there and doing all that typing. Still not sure why they have to wear black hoodies though.
You young’uns don’t know how good you have it! In my day we had to chisel the ones and zeros by hand!
Given that I stole this from a programming community, it shouldn’t be too far off from true.
(Caveat lector: I’m not in the IT industry but I’m often messing with bash scripts and decompiled python code.)
You learn a special type of Spanish and somehow you make MS Word come out
Imagine a poorly lit room. The smell of coffee permeates every inch while the Baba is You soundtrack is played on repeat. Five to fifty monkeys sit in desks and attempt to bind whatever devils are necessary to invoke the magic their leader demands. sixty three percent of their effort is actually just browsing social media and posting memes in niche online communities, but they still manage to get stuff done.
Ctrl+C
Ctrl+V
I’m pretty sure most of these comments are written by programmers 🤣 reciting CSI stuff…
A cross between Latin and algebra.
You forgot to mention the pentagram drawn in blood, and the candles.
I would imagine it is as follows:
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Come up with ideas or goal to accomplish /be given said goal
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spend large amount of time looking at existing code or prior implementation of your stated goal.
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attempt to write or import some code tailored to your specific needs
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test and identify problem areas
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find everything fails spectacularly and start over +/- tears.
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repeat until successful or dead
They said people outside the tech industry
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Actual programming is punished by your boss, the IP lawyer, and the customer.
Backup backup backup. If anything breaks rollback till it works again.
Implement machine learning for the business process. You can afford you one raspberry pi.
When things get really tough, two of you will double up on the same keyboard.
1 in 6 have multiple personalities and substance abuse daemons.
Your bosses ride little skateboards everywhere, when they’re not busy programming animated singing viruses.
The FBI watches you code, but has no idea what they’re looking at.
A significant fraction of you can type with your feet, proficiently.
I think programming can be a pretty dull task, where you spend hours over hours copy-pasting fragments of code from former projects and/or from other sources, adjust it to your needs, run it, remove the bug, run it again and find the new ten bugs over and over again.
But you get to wear a black hoodie and a mask.
Putting text in green font colour on a terminal. During crunch time, blowjobs help finish the programming within a minute. If you’re an expert, you don’t actually type code, you become one with the CRT screen and gaze deep into the pixels, while your hands create code automatically at a super fast pace. Sometimes you stop for a sip of a carbonated beverage.
