It is a complete answer, but it also makes a lot of people feel like they don’t know something they should. Repeatedly feeling that way is why they start to get defensive. In my experience. Its the repeated asking of questions they don’t have “good” answers for. And so I try really hard when people share things with me to pay extra attention to how they are reacting to my questions.
The same structure holds true when I’m asking questions about peoples beliefs or any other topic. People really hate feeling caught out in a conversation. My girlfriend almost broke up with me towards the beginning of our relationship for being “too Socratic.” And so now I try to be more conscious about what I ask, and when, where, why, and how I ask them. So far it’s been working pretty well.
Anyway your experiences are your own, my point here was and still is that people don’t react this way because they are stupid or incapable of self reflection but because sometimes we really do come off justly or unjustly as interrogators, and it’s on us to learn to identify when that’s happening and back off.
Much more common is assholes getting defensive when I ask them literally any questions, especially when they’re in positions of power-not even administrative power; I basically don’t fuck with doctors anymore.
It is a complete answer, but it also makes a lot of people feel like they don’t know something they should. Repeatedly feeling that way is why they start to get defensive. In my experience. Its the repeated asking of questions they don’t have “good” answers for. And so I try really hard when people share things with me to pay extra attention to how they are reacting to my questions.
The same structure holds true when I’m asking questions about peoples beliefs or any other topic. People really hate feeling caught out in a conversation. My girlfriend almost broke up with me towards the beginning of our relationship for being “too Socratic.” And so now I try to be more conscious about what I ask, and when, where, why, and how I ask them. So far it’s been working pretty well.
Anyway your experiences are your own, my point here was and still is that people don’t react this way because they are stupid or incapable of self reflection but because sometimes we really do come off justly or unjustly as interrogators, and it’s on us to learn to identify when that’s happening and back off.
That can happen!
Much more common is assholes getting defensive when I ask them literally any questions, especially when they’re in positions of power-not even administrative power; I basically don’t fuck with doctors anymore.