I was talking with someone today and realized I did something I do quite often that might be a trait that gets me into trouble: I boldly state my preference for (or against) something.
In this case, it was being tired of classic rock from a lifetime of overexposure. I think I offended the person, but saved it by clarifying that I’m mostly tired that there is a play list of seemingly 100-songs that have been in continual rotation for 50 years.
Anyway, it occurs to me that I’m just stating my preferences and I personally thing that’s fine and normal, but that people get personally offended if you don’t like what they like; which makes no sense to me. It’s like if you don’t like bland food, I’m not going to get offended because I can’t handle anything hotter than black pepper. It doesn’t ultimately mean anything significant.
Thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
The key is to be as diplomatic as possible in just saying it’s not really your thing and then changing the subject. Especially when someone’s trying to bond by sharing their interests, the worst thing you can do is insult the things they like. If you have to, avoid any direct criticism, just make it clear that it’s your own subjective taste.
And I say this as someone who has literally built a brand on being a hater for some specific hot-buttons of mine, and even lost friendships over it. In the right setting there can be a time and place for hating, but it’s not when someone else is trying to talk about what they like. Just change the subject if you can’t say anything nice.
Yeah, I can see in the context of someone talking about how they LOVE classic rock is would be a bad move; in those cases, I keep it to myself, or talk about what I do like about it… but in the absence of knowing their preferences, I blurt out my own, because I feel like that’s part of THEM getting to know ME.
And thank you. Understanding that people are really just looking to bond over shared interests is helpful.
Even unprompted, it’s usually better to talk about the things you like rather than the things you don’t.