• shiv@sh.itjust.works
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    7 hours ago

    Stealing from major chains like wal mart but never more than $300 worth from any particular store.

  • ultranaut@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    Jaywalking. Start with something easy to make sure it’s a good career fit for you before committing to anything more serious.

  • mr_account@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Going 1mph over the posted speed limit. Once you’ve had some practice doing that, you can ease your way up to 2 over

  • ferric_carcinization@lemmy.ml
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    10 hours ago

    Try something flashy. It’ll look good.on your crime CV—colloquially called “the record”. Your first thought might be a bank robbery, but that’s no longer in style—making you look old-fashioned.

    I would recommend committing digital crimes. They’re hip & show that you follow the times.

    If your computer skills aren’t up to par, or your moral compass is leading you astray, you could perform a vi timless crime. If you don’t leave anyone alive, there isn’t anyone left to prosecute you. (If it wasn’t apparent, the name comes from erasing all possible “victims”.)

    Don’t forget to leave some kind of mark-of-trade at the scene of the crime to claim the glory. For example, you could leave a fresh parsnip. It’s very important that you have a reasonable explanation that links you to the mark, otherwise you could become a target for identity theft. Unless you can think of a very unique mark, I would suggest leaving your name & address.