• Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    Listen, urine comes from your no-no spot and I want to drink it straight from the tap because I am an alchemist and know urine’s true potential. Please, everyone, pee on me to make me more powerful, and I will defeat Donald Trump in this next election…

      • Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Damn right! That’s my teleological purpose! I offend both the religious and secular, and thus make more religious. I’ve invented Mormon Occultism. People that rebel in the Mormon church will find me as I am the quasi-opposition of orthodox religious congregations, while people who seek truth from a secular perspective can debate me and I will win having studied philosophy into the 30th grade. This makes me an attractor membrane to orthodox Mormonism. God thought thus through for me, because God knows my dumb ass wouldn’t have come up with this myself, because damn am I a horny son of a bitch.