It took a long time and some trial and error, but I have finally found medication that helps (Ritalin - long acting).
I don’t feel like a different person, and I don’t feel like I don’t have ADHD. I just feel a little more in control.
Examples
Instead of working on a side project for 12 hours straight and forgetting to eat or work on the important tasks, I’m working on a side project for 12 hours with food and drink breaks, while being aware that the important tasks aren’t being done.
Instead of getting irrationally angry when interrupted and going straight back to what I’m working on, I get angry for a few seconds, take some breaths to calm down, then listen to the person who interupted me before going back to what I was working on.
Instead of wandering aimlessly around the house unable to focus on anything, I wander for a while, then decide to have a nap because I’m now aware of the exhaustion.
It really isn’t a miracle drug, but my life is so much better now. Most of the time I don’t even notice the effects, but I really notice the lack of effect when I forget to take them for a week.
As someone who tried and gave up on medication this makes me so happy you have found what works. As much as I hate medication I acknowledge it works for some people and many need it to survive.
From a stranger, I am proud of you ♥️
Edit - for me I found exercise and a psychologist was what I needed. I feel equally blessed.
Fighting with myself to do stupid pointless boring stuff that I hated was just so exhausting.
I still have to do stupid pointless boring stuff that I hate… but I don’t ALSO have to fight myself to do it. Turns out that was like 60% of the expenditure.
So now I don’t feel just drained by the end of the day. I come home with way more gas in the tank for the people I actually love.
Bro I could have typed this exactly. I only recently (within 6 mo.) have started taking Ritalin and I get to enjoy my day after work. I’m not just cracked out, I just don’t have the same internal struggle happening ALL day long. Haha who would’ve thunk
I had it for a while, and then switched back to uncut speed. After I cleaned up, I found that exercising a lot had the same effect for me, and that got me through withdrawals :-)
It’s focused on minimising side effects, unlike speed, which is focused on the high.
When it works, it’s amazing. You also don’t develop significant tolerances (aka physical addiction) to it, if you have ADHD. It ends up working with your homeostatic systems, rather than against them.
Apparently it is a running job with many specialists. People with ADHD regularly forget to take the “highly addictive” drug.
Maybe it didn’t do the trick for me, then, because I’m more on the side of autism than ADHD.
Speed worked amazingly well for me, though. I could communicate enthusiastically with people, and it helped me with all aspects of my life … the scene in Trainspotting where Spud has too much of it before an interview still makes me laugh :-)
Speed has a fairly broad effect on the brain. It sounds like it was helpful to you.
The danger is the difference between ADHD and autism. In ADHD the brain knows it’s out of kilter. The drugs work with the homeostasis mechanisms to bring it back into balance. With autism, the homeostatic systems think the brain is fine. It’s a social based problem, not a chemical imbalance. Speed then gets into a fight with the homeostatic systems over brain chemistry.
The end result is “chasing the dragon”. You use drugs to “fix” your mind, but your body then corrects for it. An ever larger dose is required to maintain the effect you want, leading to addiction and its problems.
I was an addict, but at a steady dose … there wasn’t any dragon - chasing going on. Even after years, just one dab too much would give me a headache, make my blood pressure uncomfortably high, and make me clench my jaw too hard.
That was not the case for codeine, which I also abused. Couldn’t ever get enough of that shit.
It’s in the amphetamine family. It was chosen due to the bias it has with where in the brain it acts. Speed has a different bias that create a different effect.
I regularly have days where I think “did I take my drugs?” I can often tell by looking back at my day, and realising how much I got done, without running out of mental energy. My partner can also tell quite reliably if I’ve forgotten.
I’m still me, just a bit less scatter brained, a bit more productive, and better able to focus. I lose some creativity, but that’s a fair trade for actually being able to apply my creativity.
It took a long time and some trial and error, but I have finally found medication that helps (Ritalin - long acting).
I don’t feel like a different person, and I don’t feel like I don’t have ADHD. I just feel a little more in control.
Examples
Instead of working on a side project for 12 hours straight and forgetting to eat or work on the important tasks, I’m working on a side project for 12 hours with food and drink breaks, while being aware that the important tasks aren’t being done.
Instead of getting irrationally angry when interrupted and going straight back to what I’m working on, I get angry for a few seconds, take some breaths to calm down, then listen to the person who interupted me before going back to what I was working on.
Instead of wandering aimlessly around the house unable to focus on anything, I wander for a while, then decide to have a nap because I’m now aware of the exhaustion.
It really isn’t a miracle drug, but my life is so much better now. Most of the time I don’t even notice the effects, but I really notice the lack of effect when I forget to take them for a week.
As someone who tried and gave up on medication this makes me so happy you have found what works. As much as I hate medication I acknowledge it works for some people and many need it to survive.
From a stranger, I am proud of you ♥️
Edit - for me I found exercise and a psychologist was what I needed. I feel equally blessed.
Yeah. I don’t feel mentally exhausted anymore.
Fighting with myself to do stupid pointless boring stuff that I hated was just so exhausting.
I still have to do stupid pointless boring stuff that I hate… but I don’t ALSO have to fight myself to do it. Turns out that was like 60% of the expenditure.
So now I don’t feel just drained by the end of the day. I come home with way more gas in the tank for the people I actually love.
Bro I could have typed this exactly. I only recently (within 6 mo.) have started taking Ritalin and I get to enjoy my day after work. I’m not just cracked out, I just don’t have the same internal struggle happening ALL day long. Haha who would’ve thunk
Dang, that sounds incredible.
Maybe I should talk to my doc about this…
Ritalin is basically amphetamines.
I had it for a while, and then switched back to uncut speed. After I cleaned up, I found that exercising a lot had the same effect for me, and that got me through withdrawals :-)
It’s focused on minimising side effects, unlike speed, which is focused on the high.
When it works, it’s amazing. You also don’t develop significant tolerances (aka physical addiction) to it, if you have ADHD. It ends up working with your homeostatic systems, rather than against them.
Apparently it is a running job with many specialists. People with ADHD regularly forget to take the “highly addictive” drug.
Maybe it didn’t do the trick for me, then, because I’m more on the side of autism than ADHD.
Speed worked amazingly well for me, though. I could communicate enthusiastically with people, and it helped me with all aspects of my life … the scene in Trainspotting where Spud has too much of it before an interview still makes me laugh :-)
Speed has a fairly broad effect on the brain. It sounds like it was helpful to you.
The danger is the difference between ADHD and autism. In ADHD the brain knows it’s out of kilter. The drugs work with the homeostasis mechanisms to bring it back into balance. With autism, the homeostatic systems think the brain is fine. It’s a social based problem, not a chemical imbalance. Speed then gets into a fight with the homeostatic systems over brain chemistry.
The end result is “chasing the dragon”. You use drugs to “fix” your mind, but your body then corrects for it. An ever larger dose is required to maintain the effect you want, leading to addiction and its problems.
I was an addict, but at a steady dose … there wasn’t any dragon - chasing going on. Even after years, just one dab too much would give me a headache, make my blood pressure uncomfortably high, and make me clench my jaw too hard.
That was not the case for codeine, which I also abused. Couldn’t ever get enough of that shit.
Ritalin is amphetamine. Are you saying it’s modified amphetamine?
It’s in the amphetamine family. It was chosen due to the bias it has with where in the brain it acts. Speed has a different bias that create a different effect.
I assumed the names were more specific than that. Thanks for explaining.
I regularly have days where I think “did I take my drugs?” I can often tell by looking back at my day, and realising how much I got done, without running out of mental energy. My partner can also tell quite reliably if I’ve forgotten.
I’m still me, just a bit less scatter brained, a bit more productive, and better able to focus. I lose some creativity, but that’s a fair trade for actually being able to apply my creativity.