I give up.

I tried left and right to try to install an email server so I could degoogle my life.

But therechnical barrier is thick and Google keeps adding more to it. Forget it. I can’t even get thru the installation process much less trying to get my shit off Google.

I figure, I don’t actually have any need for my email addresses. Just like my phone number. I never call anyone. I’m going to discourage my kids from using email at all. I’ll remind everyone I know that I don’t use email at every opportunity I get just like I remind people to not call me and that my phone number is not available.

Between spammers and Google, I just don’t need this headache in my life. My mom is much less technically savvy than the average pet. So Google will just siphon her data and when the megabits are full then you just delete the old stuff.

You don’t need it. No one will spend their life reading your emails when you’re gone or watching your videos or listening to your recordings or viewing your photos. There’s no need to worry about just deleting the pile of shit you’ve accumulated. I’m this done.

  • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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    1 hour ago

    What is the problem? I have been self hosting my mail for the last 20+ years and has always worked pretty well.

    I rent a VPS for that since you should not use a residential address for email servers.

    If you are careful enough to configure it properly I assure you that it works and it’s perfectly usable and stable

    All my family primary email addresses are managed in that way on my various domains and we never had a single issue

    Today it’s even easier because there are all in one docker based solutions. But going the hard way is perfectly doable as well.

    Here is my experience, on my wiki, if you are interested https://wiki.gardiol.org/doku.php?id=email%3Astart

    Be aware that there are no optional steps: everything must be properly installed and setup from DNS entries to dkim/dmarc and certificates. But I promise, maintenance it basically zero after a proper setup. And I think twice in 20 years something broke. And the nice part of that email will just be delayed and delivered after you fix it, nothing gets ever lost

    I love email, with all it downfalls, it’s still one of the most resilient and solid stuff on the internet.

    • Brummbaer@pawb.social
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      39 minutes ago

      Same here, I have been doing that for around 20 years now too and I started out with postfix and a list of vmails in a text file.

      I wonder where this myth comes from. People host way more out there stuff themselves, but somehow email is too scary …

      • eutampieri@feddit.it
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        2 minutes ago

        When you begin hosting you have to wait a bit before your email doesn’t go to spam, at least that was my experience in 2018.

        Edit: I just checked and I can now deliver to Hotmail/MS365 too!

      • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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        1 hour ago

        That is a mandatory requirement for proper email delivery.

        Not an issue with email itself, more due to spam prevention and such.

        I flagree that hosting email servers on residential IPs is a recipe for being filtered and blocked

        • IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz
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          15 minutes ago

          I flagree that hosting email servers on residential IPs is a recipe for being filtered and blocked

          Unless your ISP gives you a static address and agrees to change PTR record to your server address. Then it’s no different than any other server on the internet. Obviously odds are that you’re not getting one or if it’s an option they’ll likely charge more than VPS is going to cost you, but it’s not unheard of.

          But for the actual topic, I don’t get the myth either. I’ve got a good old postfix+dovecot setup running and the only problem I have is that spam filtering isn’t quite as good as with commercial providers, but the handful of trash coming trough is easy enough to take care of manually.

  • Decronym@lemmy.decronym.xyzB
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    Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I’ve seen in this thread:

    Fewer Letters More Letters
    DNS Domain Name Service/System
    ISP Internet Service Provider
    SMTP Simple Mail Transfer Protocol
    TLS Transport Layer Security, supersedes SSL
    VPN Virtual Private Network
    VPS Virtual Private Server (opposed to shared hosting)

    [Thread #4 for this comm, first seen 8th Jun 2026, 05:50] [FAQ] [Full list] [Contact] [Source code]

    • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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      Why people keep spreading this misinformation? It’s plainly not true and I am the living proof of that.

      Been using my email self hosted (on VPs) for decades now, never had serious issues at all. And it’s all my family primary addresses

      • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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        60 minutes ago

        I think the general gist is as beginner self hosters we get more and more comfortable too “easily spin up a docker webserver”

        At some point we arrive at “what other services can i host” and email is a pretty obvious addition expecting it to at least not be more difficult then running nextcloud.

        It may be doable but hell is it not a comparable challenge.

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          56 minutes ago

          I fully agree …

          Email server require to understand what and why you are doing. This is a steep step up from spinning docker containers.

          Nothing against docker containers, I run quite a few myself… But indeed a successful email server is a different beast.

          Many people also try self host it at home, and this is a serious issue with email due to the residential ip address as well.

          But it can be done successfully and it’s a great feeling of accomplishment when you do it. And you learn way more than using containers

          Also all containerized solutions for email require the understanding and additional steps like DNS done properly as well .

      • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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        44 minutes ago

        Just because you can do it doesn’t mean it is feasible

        It comes with a lot of downsides

    • dan@upvote.au
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      It’s not too bad if you use an outbound SMTP relay for sending. SMTP2Go is pretty good, and they have a free plan with 1000 emails per month. I use Mailcow and you can configure relays in their web UI, but it works just as well with the sender_dependent_relayhost_maps setting in Postfix.

      Sure, it’s not fully self-hosted, but the interesting part to self-host is the storage of your emails, not the sending (which will just relay through other SMTP servers along the way anyways).

  • uuj8za@piefed.social
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    3 hours ago

    Yeah, hosting your own email server is pretty tough.

    I think something like https://migadu.com/ might be more in the middle of hosting your own server and purely using someone else’s frontend.

    • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
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      37 minutes ago

      I just switched to migadu and found it painless and easy, I also run an email server with mail-in-a-box, which is great.

    • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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      I gave their self-hosted version a go and got stuck with the gmail connection. For Auth2.0 they’ve built some new bullshit. I think I gotta create an app to pretend I’m a dev, then use that app and password to allow it on my security settings… Google is such a bunch of shit assholes. Fuck Google! With a splintered rusty corrugate hose. Assholes. Who is gonna do that? Nobody. It’s just a tiny bit more than whatever technical knowledge I’m willing to spend cells on. Nah, I’m done.

  • farmgineer@nord.pub
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    1 hour ago

    I used to run my own mailserver, but I haven’t in years now since it was so much of a pain. Not even the set-up part; that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s uptime, back-ups, and other considerations that just require time and money I don’t have.

  • MalReynolds@slrpnk.net
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    2 hours ago

    Just get a domain and point it at a provider. Now you’re not locked in and can switch at will upon enshittification. Get one of the offline mail archive services like OpenArchiver. Job done.

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    3 hours ago

    This really saddens me. Email is such a fundamentally good and open protocol. The only reason people don’t like it is because of big tech’s shenanigans.

    I run an email service called Port87. I invite you to try it and see if it can convince you that email is actually a great technology, when detached from big tech slop. It’s got some really killer features that make it great for organization and preventing spam. You can also tell it that on certain addresses, it should completely ignore the strict auth requirements it usually has, so it will accept email from your own services without you having to set up all the extra bullshit that’s meant for stuff that matters more.

    • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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      I was told about this one but never actually tried it. I am more hellbent on setting up my own server so I never have to migrate from anywhere.

  • Rimu@piefed.social
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    Fair enough - I got it working recently but it was the hardest self-hosting install I’ve done. No way most people would succeed. Email is 50(?) years of questionable design decisions piled on top of each other so it’s become a whole world of weird stuff. Doing email should be it’s own tech specialty, like ‘devops’ or ‘db admin’ is. There’s enough depth to it.

    There are a ton of email providers who are not Google, though. e.g. https://proton.me/mail. You don’t need to run it on your own hardware.

    • korthrun@piefed.social
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      Doing email should be it’s own tech specialty, like ‘devops’ or ‘db admin’ is.

      It literally is, and has been for quite a while :D Enterprise level email admins make a pretty penny eheheh.

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    3 hours ago

    Proton or Tuta mail. Supports aliasing so you can make unique email addresses per website, and trash them if you get spammed.

    Singing up for a paid account you also get VPN, drive storage, password manager, docs, sheets, AI chat (I know), calendar, meetings and authenticator.

  • cmnybo@discuss.tchncs.de
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    It’s not really worth the trouble to try to host your own e-mail. There are lots of e-mail hosts that you can use with your own domain. A few of them are free and there are plenty of low cost ones. As long as you use your own domain, you can switch hosts whenever you want and keep your addresses.

  • ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 hours ago

    If you want to give it another try, I’ve used Mailcow for about a decade now, after running on Exchange for twenty before that. Mailcow is way easier to set up and maintain than Exchange.

    Key to it all is making sure you have your DKIM, dmarc and SPF records set up correctly, as well as a PTR with your internet provider if you can manage it, though that seems optional.

    Never had a problem with the big providers bouncing my mails, just a couple little outfits that couldn’t figure their filters out correctly.

    • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 hour ago

      That’s the first thing I tried. I could receive emails but not send. Maybe I’ll give that thing one more go.

    • Jeena@piefed.jeena.net
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      4 hours ago

      But about the videos and photos I think you’re a bit wrong, I still rewatch my dads home videos from the 90’s

      • adarza@piefed.ca
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        4 hours ago

        i have a neighbor that keeps her old answering machine because her late-husband’s voice is on it. she has no home videos or anything else… just a few snapshots and that answering machine.