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Different things work for different people
It ultimately all goes into the square hole.
If you have 5 dirty dishes, each time you walk past pick one up and hope it leads to them all being clean.
Alternatively, throw out all dishes, you have one bowl, it doesn’t get clean, you don’t eat.
And other tips in my new book, “It’s totally fine, I’m fine, why do you keep asking?”
I did the ‘only one of everything’ thing sometimes after I first left home. When I needed be able to carry everything I owned it made perfect sense … TBH if it was just me on my own, it would still make sense
I’m married and we have a kid. When I first moved into my house I stayed here alone for 2-3 months while the wife and kid mostly stayed at the previous house to prep it for selling. (I had injuries that prevented me from being much use in that task, though I contributed when I could.)
I thought it would be easy to keep the new house clean - after all, when I was here alone, there was hardly any mess and what there was was mostly contained within the living room and kitchen; those messes were minor and I picked up after myself every night! Turns out that a kid and two tired parents make a lot more mess than one lonely single person who doesn’t do much. Also, most of our stuff (at that time) was at the old house, so there wasn’t much to use to make a mess here even if I wanted to.
My wife is smarter than I am. During a phone call, I expressed the above to her, finishing with “I think it will be easy to keep this place clean.” She responded with something like "oh, you do, do you … "
In case there’s any confusion, I’d much rather be with my wife and kid in a hoarder’s house than be alone in a pristine environment, I was just unduly surprised by the change.
I will share an anecdote that is barely relevant, but is one of my favorites … The day we signed for this house, all three of us were here. The kid, much younger at the time, left a toy triceratops atop the tank of one of the commodes. I never once even thought about cleaning it up because it was one of the only reminders of my family I had at the time. I never thought a toy dinosaur would make me miss anyone so much.
Alternatively, throw out all dishes, you have one bowl, it doesn’t get clean, you don’t eat.
We eventually resigned ourselves to just buying paper plates/bowls/cups/etc. Yes, it’s wasteful. But it also helps just the tiniest bit.
I would like a copy of of your book
Genuinely, How to keep house while drowning by KC Davis is kind of like this and I recommend it to any neurodivergent person or parent of young kids.
“make a list”
“Mother fucker, I will cut you.”
“make a list” “Fine, Done. You’re on it.”
Making a list, then a few more. Have trouble organising and ordering the lists. Which makes a priority list, get overwhelmed and doing something different entirely.
I made lists
I lost them 🙁
Or wind up looking like a conspiracy theorist.
Hahaha 😆
Uh no. That tip was so tedious I stopped reading halfway through.
The ADHD urge to yap vs the ADHD inability to read more than 5 lines of text
I use the mantra “do what must be done”
And in my mind frame it something as inevitable like a car crash or a tsunami
Then I count to 5 and start the task as soon as I hit 5.
I notice the hardest part is starting for me but once I’m there I keep going
I live on monster energy and coffee until I’m cranking out adrenalin and use the mild panic caused by that to treat every task as a last minute task.
My heart is fine why do you ask?
Tried and true method.
I use the mantra: “Why am I so stressed. How can I destress. Is it just this one fucking task that is stressing me. Maybe just do a little bit and see how you feel. Okay and now a bit more.”
Same thing goes for Depression.
Ok but as someone who has adhd: sleep, exercise, and diet are huge. They’re just also difficult goals you have to push towards.
Different stages of dysfunction require different advice. Someone who is deep in it needs advice like “when absolutely necessary you can use an anxiety spiral to get adrenaline to break free from executive dysfunction”. Meanwhile someone who can’t seem to get any further than daily struggling and doing things at the last moment may need to hear that they might be better at doing what needs done if they put some of their efforts towards exercise and eating better.
This seems like kind of the opposite for me.
The biggest change to my ADHD was when I got an autistic obsession with a sport, so I started excersizing, eating better and sleeping better.
The second paragraph would be entirely useless to me and woulntnwork as soon as it was more than 2 steps and involves writing
The point of the meme is more that the “expert” advice is very generic and vague, while someone with ADHD will tell you the specific method they use for a specific situation, which is much more actionable for other people with ADHD. Telling someone to eat better or exercise more isn’t the same as explaining how to do those things.
Yeah, this doesn’t really explain why the first is bad advice. Technically, it is great advice, eating better, having a schedule, and proper sleep DOES help people with ADHD. The problem is actually doing all that when struggling with ADHD. So when the advise boils down to “just do the thing” and you are struggling to do it, it feels worthless.
yes. i agree with both tips
100% When I notice I’m stuck in place, I start by wiggling my toes or just a finger joint. Then build from there.
How the fuck do I go from slowly moving an eyeball to doing 5 jumping jacks?
why hate on experts with advanced degrees?
Agreed on the anti-intellectualism being lame. PhDs with ADHD are where it’s at, since they have both expertise and experience
a lot of those PhD probably are themselves, academia is quite neurodivergent.
This reminds me of an old line I heard, “My parents took me to the doctor because they thought I had mononucleosis. Turns out I was just lazy”.
I mean both are true. Good exercise and sleep help sooooo much but first you have to get there. This might happen cause you decide to just give up on everything else in your life, or because someone finally gets you to do it. Whatever the reason is, once you get into it, its a positive feedback loop. Its still a bit scary tho cause you feel like youre one bad week away from your whole system getting knocked down but thats just life i guess.
