I had been working really hard to plan my medical leave but whoops I couldn’t stop crying last night so I decided I probably shouldn’t go to work today so I guess it’s starting early.
I have been working with an Occupational Therapist to help plan accommodations for my return, but other than that…what do I do lol?
I would very much like to speed run 100% this thing and while I know it’s not possible I’m probably going to try anyways 🤷♀️
If you’ve been on leave for autistic burnout I’d love to hear:
- What did you do with your time off?
- How did you know you were better?
- What do you wish someone told you about it?
Appreciate any replies, thanks!
I’m still recovering, and at the moment going through another stressful period that I try to manage as well as I can, so it won’t completely wreck me.
I realized I need to start changing the way I think and react emotionally to be able to recover (cptsd-related), so I found a couple resources, youtube therapists and podcasts that I’d learn from. I also found it useful to understand more about zen and philosophy behind mindfulness (I’m allergic to superficial “quick fixes”, I need to understand WHY things are supposed to work and what lead to developing the practice). Basically learning how to recognize and listen to my personal needs, what cues the body gives, where stress and anxiety gets “stored” in my body and so on. I realized I wasn’t able to stop and that’s what I really needed to do. I’m used to just forcing myself to do what I think I’m expected to, completely ignoring what’s actually good for me. Plenty of shame and fear to tackle.
I decided I need to do at least light physical activity every day, so I started taking “mental health evening walks” and observing nature while at it. I like to listen to these therapists’ podcasts while I’m walking to calm myself and minimize hearing traffic noise.
All in all learning about my sensory needs and minimizing sensory stress has been important. Also realizing what kind of social situations drain me and being conscious about how much I can take. It’s painful to have to give up on good and enjoyable things because they too drain me.
Then I started exploring what kind of social activities I’d enjoy and tried going to some groups. Peer support has been especially important!
Half a year later I became curious about possible study opportunities and got into one course. Being in a structured (social) setting where I could learn from interesting topics helped me a lot!
For me the most obvious signs that I’m getting better are: less sensory stress, less emotional dysregulation, more battery for social things and not feeling exhausted all the time. The progress is slow though and I think I’m just in the beginning about learning what’s good for me and balancing my life so that it supports my needs.
Thank you!
I know the root of my burnout is communication challenges and I am working with an occupational therapist to find accommodations that will help. My work is inherently stressful (large infrastructure projects) but what makes it unbearable for me is when directions change or decisions change and I seem to be the only one who doesn’t understand it. Or when people refuse to answer my questions as a way of telling me they don’t need something anymore.
I am also unable to stop (I ran one marathon once and didn’t notice that I was bleeding though my shoe good times lol). I’m going to have to build in rules or routines that force me to stop because I don’t know if I will ever learn my body cues. I’ve done quite a lot of meditation and yoga and love hanging out in float tanks/isolation pods but those just help me dissociate more lol.
Good that you are getting help from a therapist!
Changes are stressful and they are especially stressful when there’s vagueness/unclear communication around it! That also sounds a lot like an internal communication issue in the workplace, not “just a personal fault” - and those things should be taken seriously.
We neurodivergents learn from childhood to ignore our needs and it takes a long time to relearn to trust ourselves and hear the cues our bodies and minds give to us. It sounds like you are already doing a lot, taking steps and finding new, healthier ways of being. Hopefully your workplace will also find ways to help out in that professional setting!
My post was very much a tl;dr - it’s been like 7 years since I started realizing something was wrong at work. I upped and left a really good job for something simpler, somehow ended up in the same role a year later (LMAO) but somewhere that made me yearn for the problems of the previous job. ADHD “diagnosis” 3 years ago (GP gave me meds), autism/ADHD diagnosis via assessment process last year.
Vaugeness was less of an issue at the old job because roles and responsibilities were more clearly defined. Here they are not, and the scope of my responsibility is so much more.
Just mentioning that it’s been a hell of a journey, mostly so others who read it won’t beat themselves up for taking long to figure it out.